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Interesting that the door apparently only swings one way on his issue. For me , the question would be, what would husband do in this situation if the tables were reversed. If he makes sacrifices for her, then she should reciprocate. That’s what marriage is about. It’s not always about us and what we want To me, this is more than a “routine vacation,” as some are attempting to characterizie it.
True, not a routine vacation. By going, the kids, wife, and husband are placed in a bad position. You have controlling parents that don't seem to care for the daughter in law or the grand kids. The Husbands siblings are also beyond reproach. I don't see a good outcome by being a part of this.
Husband and wife should not be giving in to the other person. They are a couple. They work as one.
HighFLyingBird, I'll say pretty much word for word what I posted in another recent thread. In this case, sounds like your weak coward of a husband wants to get away from YOU & his special needs kids to have a break away. Why else would he want to spend time & money on a trip to be w/ people he can't even stand?! Think about it. That's a slap in you & your kids' faces. He'd rather be w/ a-holes than be w/ his own loving family. If he goes on this vacation, you won't be there to see that he's probably going to not even be around them much & have his own quiet time OR who knows, maybe galavant around & spend time w/ another lady over there to have a fling w/ to "get away from all his problems".
So below is the part I said to another poster in her recent thread:
Oh HELL NO would I put up w/ any of this BS! Those horrendous family members would never ever see my face ever again in life. Your husband is a weak coward & until he changes his mindset, you'll just have to be STRONGER & not go w/ him to these get-togethers.
Sounds like there's quite a few wastes of space for family members that your husband has, so why should he care if he still consort w/ him?! Who cares. Your husband should never, ever care if he ever sees them ever again. Your husband acts like his parents are rich & he's going to be inheriting some BIG money or something one day so he's trying to stay in his good graces. Not that that's right either & he shouldn't want to feel bought.
NO ONE should care in the least to still be in contact w/ such horrendous people & if any or most of them happen to also be vile, crass, chauvinistic, & immoral, all the more reason to not want to. They all deserve each other.
My entire fiance's immediate family of 5 are all narcissistic a-holes & I stopped going w/ him to his family get-togethers long ago because I'm not going to subject myself to that nonsense of being ignored like the wallpaper, , the racist comment by a certain brother of his, being talked around me while I always tried to make the best of it & ask them about themselves. At the time, he still went because he didn't know back then what he knows now about narcissism, which we've done research on. My fiance's father is similar, but my fiance's been through w/ him for about the last 10 yrs & now through w/ his other 4 family members since earlier this year. ALL of my fiance's 5 family members are true wastes of space & my fiance' totally agrees. He wants nothing to do w/ them at all. Wish your husband finally wisened up about his father & any other toxic family members. My fiance' feels like a great weight's been lifted.
Any husband who will cater to & kiss @s$ to the horrendous, toxic people isn't really in YOUR corner. He sees how his family is & still never does 1 darn thing! YOU are your husband's queen or SHOULD be & he should have demanded respect for YOU, his wife & the love of his life all of these years. He apparently thinks more highly of his father & put him in higher regard than YOU.
My fiance' told off his OWN mother because she didn't treat me right once & that was that. He's not afraid or intimidated by EITHER of his parents because what's right is right & what's wrong is wrong.
There's no need to knowingly set them up for anything that will be painful. Family time isn't supposed to be like that.
Glad your husband is getting help. Snice he knows the source of his difficulty, the onus is now on him to work to resolve it.
Absolutely. I am ignoring trolls and pot stirrers. Because my husband isn't a bad person, nor am I. He is a flawed person, like all of us. And it is easy for me to point out his faults, i am sure he could do the same for me. But he rarely does.
I wrote a very open email to my mother in law. I havent heard back. But it is ok.......
I know this is a hard topic on all sides. And I am on many sides in my many differ hats. It isnt easy
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