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I agree with those who have said, take a vacation by yourself. Maybe a short one to start, & see how you enjoy it. I do not care for freeloaders, so ditch him for vacations.
You should try taking a vacation alone because it's a lot more fun. I have done it, and it's much easier doing what I want to, without having to negotiate with another person.
I highly recommend this, too. Unless you have a phobia about it, solo travel can feel liberating! I guess some people like to travel with someone, as they feel the need to share their experiences with someone. They can feel lonely without that. But exploring on your own can be exhilarating.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 01-31-2020 at 10:46 AM..
Me and a close friend of mine that I have known for about 7 years now have been traveling quite often for the past 2 and half years noe. We're both males by the way
Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm overreacting with the way I feel and I want some people's opinions on this. We met in 2013 but we took our very first vacation together in 2017 and ever since that first trip, we've been traveling together quite often. Before, I was afraid to go on vacation alone and my other friends were too busy and/or were broke to go with me
To make the long story short, my friend has never wants to pay his share of Ubers when we travel. For example, I pay for one and then he pays for the next one, like taking turns. Every time we took a Uber, I always paid for all of them and not once he offered to pay at least one and also, when I have mentioned that he'll pay for the next one he gets mad. Also, he only sleeps 5-6 hours and when he wakes up, he intentionally wakes up me too and I wanna sleep at least 7 hours, which results in me being really tired throughout our vacation. He also gets cranky easily which has led to arguments and drama in our vacations because he misunderstands things I say or understands them but quickly forgets about anything we talk about. Also, when I'm in the bathroom in the hotel taking a shower, etc. he rushes me and tells me I take too long in the bathroom. Also, he talks my ears off (he talks non-stop throughout the entire trip) which drives me insane. Another thing is he's constantly using these sex apps on his phone (we're both gay) and I don't care who he chats with or meets up with on those apps but he's constantly on it while on vacation and one time he even brought a guy to our room and I had to step out of the room for 45 minutes to give them privacy and lock my luggage with all my stuff in it since there was a total stranger in the room and I wasn't present and my friend didn't even pay anything for the room (I paid for it all myself) which brings me to another point, which is I always make hotel reservations and I pay for them myself, while he does book his own plane ticket, the hotel is all on me because he finds hotels a waste of money he says but whatever his opinion is, he still should be giving me half for the hotel and split the cost.
Whenever we're not traveling and we're in our home city, in other words where we live, he's often texting me about going on vacation and I've told him several times that I have done too much traveling and that I'm going to take a break from vacations because they're expensive and I'm starting to get into debt with my credit cards and he says he understands but yet he's still talking about going on vacation constantly and mentions all these places he wants us to go to. I feel like he doesn't care about my financial situation after I have told him several times that I've decided to take a break from traveling. Which to a certain extent is true but on the same token, I have a couple of upcoming vacations that I'm taking alone ( I haven't told him about them because I don't want him to ask if he can come with me). I already took one vacation once (to Miami) alone and had a fabulous time, much better than I've traveled with him to different places.
Sorry to make this so long, but I'm frustrated with this person and I feel like ending a 7 year friendship over all this BS. I feel like he has become a toxic person in my life and he wasn't like this before. He has changed and gotten very cheap and selfish and not understanding
Well, it has taken you 7 years to accept that this guy is a taker. You say he has changed, so I suppose he used to be less selfish.
Sure, end the friendship. He sounds like a selfish leech, than anything else. I can feel the frustration and anger in your post. You know this guy. End the friendship in the least damaging way for you.
You can certainly tell him, definitively, that you need him to stop talking about vacations, because you aren’t going anywhere with him this year. After that, if he keeps on, I think you are justified in blocking him.
And you will always be too busy working to meet up with him locally
You don't have to end the friendship. But you should tell him you don't want to travel with him anymore because the two of your aren't compatible traveling companions. If he asks why - give him your reasons. If he chooses to end the friendship because of that, then that is his choice.
Frankly, if I were in your situation, getting kicked out of my room so that my companion could hook up with a stranger would have been the final straw.
OP, could you explain how it is, that an adult male is afraid to travel alone? What are you afraid of, exactly?
My guess is that OP, when he was younger, found the gay clubbing scene scary and intimidating and felt more comfortable with a wingman. The friend feels a hotel room is a waste of money because he doesn't spend much time in them. I doubt the purpose of these trips is to visit museums.
OP you've outgrown your friend. You don't need him to go clubbing anymore. Just take your trips alone. Stay safe.
OP, too many words. But, GET A NEW FRIEND to travel with.
He's a loser!
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