Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Personally, if that had happened to me, (which wouldn't have been more than once), and the friend wanted to travel with me again I would say, 'Sorry, but you haven't paid me back for the last x number of trips. We can talk about it once you've done that.'
It leaves the ball in his court. Granted, you will probably never see the money but you would have stood your ground and made the conditions known.
Ruben, make sure you carry an ID card with you - show your name, age, and the name and phone number of whomever you want notified in the event of an illness/accident. If you have health insurance, include that information so that medical personnel will have a billable entity.
I never found traveling, after 20 years old, with a platonic friend enjoyable unless we had separate rooms, bills, and an explicit agreement there were no expectations for combined activities.
I'm just seeing all of my responses now, sorry, busy day at work yesterday. The fact that me and my friend are gay have nothing with this whole situation. I'm in my mid-30's and I'm pretty much over the gay scene. I could go to a gay club on rare occasions but not like I did when I was in my 20's when I was in a club every weekend. And hooking up with random strangers is a rarity for me these unlike before when I was younger.
Yeah I won't be traveling with him again. I'll have a talk with him and be straightforward and honest. It's common sense for someone to pay their share of their trips. I won't ditch the friendship but I won't be traveling with this person again. If he gets mad after I tell him what I'm going to tell him then that's his problem. It's true that I've been reducing the amount of traveling lately but at the same time I'm also using that as excuse for him to stop talking about going on more and more vacations. It seems like he has the travel bug. He can travel without me. He's a grown man (he's older than me), he doesn't need me. It's not like we're dating, etc. We're only friends. So yeah while it's true I'll be traveling less for now, I'm still going to be traveling but alone or with other people (if they can). Reason why I'm afraid of traveling alone is because what if something goes wrong? (I get sick or in an accident), I won't have anyone to back me up
Good decision.
I totally understand the above noted and bolded reason for your reluctance to travel alone, so it would be good if you could still continue to search and find somebody RELIABLE (which your friend isn't) to travel with. I wish you good luck with finding another travelling companion that you can depend on as an easy-going good friend who isn't a drama-queen.
.
I'm just seeing all of my responses now, sorry, busy day at work yesterday. The fact that me and my friend are gay have nothing with this whole situation. I'm in my mid-30's and I'm pretty much over the gay scene. I could go to a gay club on rare occasions but not like I did when I was in my 20's when I was in a club every weekend. And hooking up with random strangers is a rarity for me these unlike before when I was younger.
Yeah I won't be traveling with him again. I'll have a talk with him and be straightforward and honest. It's common sense for someone to pay their share of their trips. I won't ditch the friendship but I won't be traveling with this person again. If he gets mad after I tell him what I'm going to tell him then that's his problem. It's true that I've been reducing the amount of traveling lately but at the same time I'm also using that as excuse for him to stop talking about going on more and more vacations. It seems like he has the travel bug. He can travel without me. He's a grown man (he's older than me), he doesn't need me. It's not like we're dating, etc. We're only friends. So yeah while it's true I'll be traveling less for now, I'm still going to be traveling but alone or with other people (if they can). Reason why I'm afraid of traveling alone is because what if something goes wrong? (I get sick or in an accident), I won't have anyone to back me up
He's talking about more and more travel, because he gets his vacations for the price of airfare only, and food. No wonder he's eager! Let's see how much travel he actually does, once he's no longer getting a free ride. That should be interesting. Give us an update, if you happen to think of it.
I have an acquaintance that is a horrible travel partner. I will still meet for lunch, etc - but will never travel with her again. She still bugs me to travel with her, but I know better than to give that another try. She does not cheap out - but her attitude goes south whenever there is the slightest problem (plane was late taking off; hotel wasn't what she thought, etc.). Minor stuff that shouldn't have caused horrendous mood swings. Tried it 3 times. Not all people should travel.
To the OP - you have been given excellent advice from several people - the gist is don't travel with that person again, and if he asks why, tell him. The reason he keeps asking is because you have let him take advantage, and he wants to keep doing that.
In theory, but when one party has been riding the gravy train for a long time and suddenly gets cut off they usually don't take it very well. I'm always a bit dubious when a story is so one-sided but if this "friend" is really so over-the-top unfair and thoughtless and self-centered when traveling, hard to imagine he isn't the same way any other time as well.
This is what I tell my children. The first time someone treats you badly, it's their fault. The second time that person treats you badly, it's your fault. For you allowed it to go unchecked the first time, or not well enough that they thought they could do it again.
To your point, the OP strikes me as a bit spineless, if his story is true.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
