NoVa Unfriendly? (Orange: crime rates, houses, neighborhoods)

[Flamingo13]

LOL - the Mormons came through not long ago (I didn't answer the door

[spencgr]

Originally Posted by Flamingo13

LOL - the Mormons came through not long ago (I didn't answer the door

LOL- I love to answer the door for the Mormons...I think it is hilarious to talk to people who think they are going to change my mind on something.......

[leighland]

I never get Mormons. Only JWs I like LDS kids. The JWs are not dangerous but all crazy

[Bigfoot424]

Originally Posted by spencgr

Besides the Mormons, I've never known anyone to come knocking at my door to make friends...and I've lived in seven different states. Friends don't just appear, you have to make an effort.

What a shame this is. When we moved to the Valley 2 years ago we put ourselves right smack in the middle of 2 mountain ranges and a lot of farmer's fields. If I walk out the back to the fence I can see my closest neighbor way down the hill. I turn right out of the drive and my next closest is 1/2 mile away. I drove to both of these houses and introduced myself. Turns out we all had something in common and we all knew a few people that the other knew. One was still active LE and one retired LE so we had this in common. Another neighbor, farmer, drove on his 4-wheeler to introduce himself. In my old neighborhood in Manassas we enjoyed getting out and walking so meeting our neighbors who were outside was easy. Some very good people and an Hispanic family on top of that but don't tell what's his face as apparently I'm a racist for moving away from NOVA.


Point is, we can get out and meet our neighbors if we want.

[Pub-911]

Originally Posted by BOS2IAD

I'm not the first one to notice how hard it is to make friends here and I won't be the last to notice either.

And rush-hour traffic is really bad, houses are way expensive, and the Redskins annually stink. The complainers will always have something to complain about. It's what they do. But as noted above, there is nothing special about this area that makes it harder to make friends here than anywhere else.

Originally Posted by BOS2IAD

How long have you lived in NoVA? How large is your circle of real friends, rather than acquaintances? Have your friends been in your life for decades? I'm truly curious.

Not sure how it's relevant to friend-making in NoVa, but we've been here since the 1960's, and even though we both score as "Introverts" on the Myers-Briggs scale, we have always had an active and significant circle of friends. Not sure what your standards for "real" are though. I suppose they could all fall short somehow.

[BOS2IAD]

Originally Posted by Pub-911

And rush-hour traffic is really bad, houses are way expensive, and the Redskins annually stink. The complainers will always have something to complain about. It's what they do. But as noted above, there is nothing special about this area that makes it harder to make friends here than anywhere else.


Not sure how it's relevant to friend-making in NoVa, but we've been here since the 1960's, and even though we both score as "Introverts" on the Myers-Briggs scale, we have always had an active and significant circle of friends. Not sure what your standards for "real" are though. I suppose they could all fall short somehow.

Have all your friends been constantly in your life since the 60s? Do you live in a neighborhood where the demographics haven't drastically changed? If so, what area do you live in where nothing has drastically changed throughout the years?

Drastic change started coming to our area starting in the late 90s. Many people we knew moved out. It's rare when out and about to run into anyone I know.

I'm glad to see that, apparently, you live somewhere that hasn't experienced such change. You shouldn't be so quick to judge others.

As soon as we moved into our current home, we got involved in the community. We would get in touch with the BOS over issues that concerned us and at times, attended board meetings---even speaking. I volunteered in the schools and worked part-time in the community. We were involved with groups that worked for positive local change. As I said, and it bears repeating, don't be so quick to judge.

Oh, BTW, I don't care about how the Redskins are doing

How ironic that you are complaining about "complainers"

[BOS2IAD]

Originally Posted by Bigfoot424

Point is, we can get out and meet our neighbors if we want.

^^^^Yes, this is true. Our home was a new build and we did make an effort to meet the neighbors. However, when you find that some people are stand-offish for various reasons, you can't force a friendship.

We have an HOA, and our family has been involved with it, however the vast majority in our community never attend meetings, let alone volunteer to be on the board or any committees.

It was even worse in our previous community. Once a year, the HOA would throw a summer party complete with food. They were sure to hold it on a weekend and give plenty of notice. Yet, year after year, hardly anyone would attend. The HOA board eventually gave up.

[Ffxdata]

Making friends is dependent on many factors.
Are both people working?
Are you in a walkable community?
Do you walk around your neighborhood?
Do you smile at strangers?

We moved from a townhouse community where we knew all our neighbors to a single family community where we know all our neighbors. We are introverts, but we have a stay at home parent. We volunteer. We attend mass. We have parties where we invite our neighbors and co-workers. We go to after-work drinks with co-workers. We invite people over for dinners. We schedule things but don't hold it against people when stuff comes up because cancellations happen. We have a kid. We walk with them. We talk to people at the local park.

[Bigfoot424]

Originally Posted by Ffxdata

Making friends is dependent on many factors.
Are both people working?
Are you in a walkable community?
Do you walk around your neighborhood?
Do you smile at strangers?

We moved from a townhouse community where we knew all our neighbors to a single family community where we know all our neighbors. We are introverts, but we have a stay at home parent. We volunteer. We attend mass. We have parties where we invite our neighbors and co-workers. We go to after-work drinks with co-workers. We invite people over for dinners. We schedule things but don't hold it against people when stuff comes up because cancellations happen. We have a kid. We walk with them. We talk to people at the local park.

I certainly do not live in a walkable community. Have to drive to visit anyone. Do I smile at strangers? Not sure I do that but the wife has always been amazed at how I can talk with anyone to include riff raff looking people. I'm sure my years in LE come into play here.

[Pub-911]

Originally Posted by BOS2IAD

Have all your friends been constantly in your life since the 60s?

Obviously not. Some for instance have died.

Originally Posted by BOS2IAD

Do you live in a neighborhood where the demographics haven't drastically changed?

Obviously not. There has been a significant increase in the number of women with careers, and a decline in the number of families with 3 or more children. It is also the case that while the foreign-born share of the US population hit an all-time low around 1970, it has been climbing ever since. These days, it is approaching the historical norm of 13-15%. So I don't live in or know of an area neighborhood that has not seen change over 50 years. Most of us have just adapted to change as it came along. If you had expected somehow to be spared from change, that was not a particularly realistic expectation.

Originally Posted by BOS2IAD

You shouldn't be so quick to judge others.

Everyone is judged by everyone else. This is how society works.