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I guess by saying "we" I meant that if he could not afford to move out because of the lack of a decent job that "we" meaning my husband and I, might have to reevaluate our deadline. Believe me, his financial dealings are his alone. Now, as well as once he graduates, I am all willing to help him, but I do not support him in a financial sense. He has his own loans, he pays his rent, he pays his cable, food, etc. So far, we have not needed to pay for everything. He wants to be independent but the reality is even the basics are expensive and a living wage is hard to come by.
He is still my kid. I love him and want to help him move into adulthood. My primal instinct as a mother is to make sure my child is fed. I can't imagine not caring if he has a warm meal in his belly even if it's just Chef Boyardee.
I got to page two. The job market sucking isn't the jist of the article. Plus, this trend was occuring long before the job market sucked.
I'm going to toss out my own opinion as to why this is happening. Our society and children are more driven by material things than independence. Children today have expensive interests compared to our generation as children. We didn't have huge 'entertainment' expenses in addition to living expenses when we went out on our own. We didn't have to pay for cell phones, internet, etc. We simply had rent and utilities to contend with on our own.
Society today won't do without all the luxuries. They don't just want a cell phone, they want a Blackberry with all the bells and whistles. They don't just want internet, they want high speed internet. And they're willing to trade independence to have these luxuries. They don't want to move out until they can have it all. That wasn't the way it was when we were young adults. We moved out and counted pennies. And we were happy to do it too!
independence is found in self government. discipline.
some slackers??? highest prison population on earth. the orchard did not yield fruit this season and the creditors are coming to take back the land.
Sorry but the most disciplined person in the world isn't going to be independent working 15 hours a week for $9.50 and hour. Those plentiful entry level positions where you can work hard and work your way up are long gone. I made it on my own at age 20 with no college education and no special skills, but that was 30 years ago. I couldn't do it like that today. In fact, I can't even do it NOW and I'm not an undisciplined young adult who wants it all now.
To the rest of your post...huh? Never mind, I don't really care.
I'm 22, just graduated from college and moving to Massachusetts in a few weeks. I have absolutely no plans on moving back home with my parents. If worst comes to worst and I suffer financial hardships, there are 49 other states along with over 200 cities and countries that I can live in without having to go home. I depended on my parents all while in college and do not want to go through that again. I'm super excited about becoming independent. I know that if I move back to Tennessee where all of my family is, then I will never grow up. I hate seeing people my age mooch off their parents! Grow up and move out!
I think it's a combination of factors. It's the job market, the expense of college, and the stuff. The days of working your way through college are gone. It's expensive, and financial aid is more difficult to get. However, I agree that young people are addicted to material goods. So, I don't necessarily think it's one trend or the other but a collision of both.
My primal instinct as a mother is to make sure my child is fed. I can't imagine not caring if he has a warm meal in his belly even if it's just Chef Boyardee.
Your instincts are healthy. Even stable adults need help sometimes.
My neice had an auto accident----nearly killed her, almost paralyzed her. She's in for a long road to recovery. Months of being a prisoner of a hospital bed. Months of physical therapy well into the future. She will walk again, but merely mobile, not truly walking in the sense we all walk.
Since she can't work and is only receiving 60% of her income on disability, her parents moved her back into their house. Her hospital bed is in their living room. Physical therapists visit three times a day. Her CO-PAYS for medication alone are over $300. CO-PAYS! Even though she is now living at her parent's house, she still has student loans, car payments, etc. But her reduced income only covers her health insurance premium because she has to pay her employers portion of the premium now that she is disabled. Just imagine that! The only income simply paying for health insurance that she absolutely must keep. No money left over to even feed herself. People shouldn't have to default on loans and go bankrupt simply for hitting hard times if other family members are in a financial position to help.
I can't imagine what the world would be like if most parents turned their backs on their children once they were adults. IMO, families are meant to be there for each other to help through tramatic life events---be it loss of health or loss of employment----and families that turn their backs on relatives who are struggling aren't real families.
Location: Prescott Valley, Az (unfortunately still here)
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Haaa! I've seen 30-50 something's move back in with their parents in the town I live in. Because most use their money on booze and are lazy as heck around here.
Also don't forget the costs of things have either gone up, or now exist, when previously they didn't.
Case in point: a telephone. Let's say you just want landline. You can't get "dial" anymore, without buying a converter (which you never used to have to buy). So let's say you use touch-tone.
You now have to pay for touch tone. You have to pay for long distance, which is much more expensive now than it used to be UNLESS you subscribe to a package. But the package is more expensive than basic touch tone landline, and comes with stuff you don't necessarily need or want. There are also taxes on telecommunications that never existed when we were young and living in our own apartments and paying our own bills, and often those taxes can add up to more than the base phone service itself.
Now let's add in TV. Used to be, you'd buy the TV, plug it in, and you'd be able to watch at least 2 local stations, and the local PBS on UHF. No more. Now, if you want a TV, you *must* have digital. There is no UHF/VHF anymore, it no longer exists. And in order to have digital TV, you *must* subscribe to a digital service, and that costs money which you never had to spend before.
Youth, in order to even have the bare minimum that we had when -we- were their age, are now required to dish out far more money than we did not only in cold cash, but proportionately. Once we owned a TV, it cost us $0.00 to watch it. Now it costs a minimum of $34.95/month.
Then there's gas tax. There is tax on gas that didn't exist before, when we were young. We paid tax, but not the tax on tax on tax on tax, plus sales tax, that we have now.
So even taking inflation into consideration, the *proportionate* cost of living has skyrocketed.
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