Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thanks for all your feedback- I am vey proud of our relationship. I have friends who are so over protective and call their college kids etc all the time. we rarely talk but do text and email a few times a week. I want her to grow up and be independent. I feel like she is on her way and has a good head on her shoulders,, fingers crossed. She ahs grown up with no father figure so it was great to read those first responses of how proud i should be that she talks to me... Next in line is a 16 YO son.
No I was not surprised at all just-I hadn't heard her tell me face to face..
I can understand that. I am just hoping that you don't see this as some sort of failure on your part or on her part. Being sexual is a normal part of being an adult. You raised her to adulthood and now she is acting in a way that most adults act. She is taking actions to prevent pregnancy so after you get over the shock everything should be good.
D is in college 20 minutes away- BF is there -he is 1 year older -they have dated 2 1/2 years- she came home today to get some clothes and we chatted for a bit- I asked about BF and if they were still together - she said yes -I of course asked are you still taking your birth control and she said Yes and I said do you need it? dumb ? - she said yes- we are having sex mom -"everyone in college does....." anyway I am glad that she tells me the truth- I wasn't sexually active at 19 so it is hard for me to understand- Boy have the times changed- I did remind her that he needs a condom- I've been told he does.... hard to believe my sweet little baby is old enough for this.... anyway Just wanted to vent and get opinions -it could be alot worse like her being pregnant-she is at a very good school and studies alot-they do go to parties too.. she is hoping to go to medical school. A girl at her HS got pregnant, married the guy and they lost the baby last week- baby was 6 1/2 months along.... I do know that she doesn't want a baby for quite a long time-she told me not before 30 -she babysat all thru HS = very good birth control-haha!! I know that they've had sex before now but I think it wasn't very often...
To the bolded part of your post - Seriously? .
I know that it's hard to see your baby grow up like this. But it does sound as though she knows what she wants in life and is handling the responsibilities of a grown up relationship quite well. Be proud of her!
Being sexually active at 19 in a 2.5 year relationship is really to be expected...I'd say only those with deep religious or other beliefs would remain abstinent in that situation. As long as she's responsible, it's all good.
Exactly. She is having joyful, healthy and safe sex with someone she loves and trusts. You should be thrilled for her! Life brings nothing better.
She's not upset about this latest revelation. She's just processing the information.
She's not an oppressive mother. She has often extended herself out of her comfort zone to allow her daughter independence, when many on this forum wouldn't have dared.
As a matter of fact, every post in this thread validates hlsess because hearing "so what" is very reassuring.
Personally, I do not think the OP should be surprised about, or even dismayed about, her daughter.
But what surprises me, reading this thread,....
Does no one believe in waiting for marriage any more?
Are traditional values completely out the window?
Are women waiting so long to get married now that no one thinks twice about it?
To act like, well, everyone at 19 is doing it so it's no big deal....
IDK, it makes me worry for my kids as they get older.
You do realize, that the age of majority (that is, the age where you do NOT need parental approval to marry) is 18, in every state except one, which raises the age to 21.
Most states have an age of consent for minors - so there are some states where 16 year olds can marry, as long as they have permission from their parents to do so. Three states don't even HAVE a minimum age.
When you look at it that way, having a monogamous relationship for 2.5 years, and being 19 years old, and being sexually active with that one partner all that time, isn't really a big deal at all.
Personally, I do not think the OP should be surprised about, or even dismayed about, her daughter.
But what surprises me, reading this thread,....
Does no one believe in waiting for marriage any more?
Are traditional values completely out the window?
Are women waiting so long to get married now that no one thinks twice about it?
To act like, well, everyone at 19 is doing it so it's no big deal....
IDK, it makes me worry for my kids as they get older.
I don't think traditional values are completely out the window, but young people are waiting to get married, yes. The average age of a woman to get married now is something like 27, while the average age of a woman losing her virginity is something like 16. I understand the OP's shock, and I will probably go through it too one of these years (hopefully later than sooner ), but other posters are right. It's pretty normal and natural, and thank goodness she is protecting herself and being with one long-term boyfriend. 50 years ago they'd be married and doing the same thing, but probably without the birth control. This girl wants to go to med school and wait to have children. It's not the path that most women used to take.
The average age that kids lose their virginity hasn't budged in a long time, but they are waiting to marry and have children. Given that people who marry young have a higher rate of divorce, I think that is OK. But one of the consequences of waiting to marry is that most of them aren't going to wait to have sex. Social values are evolving. We can't go back to the way it was, and even if we could I'm not sure we would want to. All my grandmothers were married by 17 or 18 and had babies shortly thereafter, and none of them went to college.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
