Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Therefore, I am asking where incestuous relationships between two consenting adults fall in? It may be off topic but it's still a valid question whether you have an answer or not.
I didn't realize you were going completely off-topic to talk about consensual incest, so yeah, there was a bit of confusion as to how you were going to relate that to being trans-gendered.
Quote:
I'm aware of this way of thinking (though I cant say I necessarily agree) but that was directed towards the poster who wanted to separate being and actions.
What don't you agree with, & what point exactly are you trying to make? Can you clarify?
People make it too much of a habit trying to blame a persons sexuality on how they were raised. Why did something have to happen in their childhood to make them transgender ? Why can't they just be that way of their own free will? And I'm sure that people who's children were abused never thought it would happen to them either. . .hmph.
For those who were not abused, if it is their own free will does that make it a choice? Someone felt it was not a choice it's just they way they are and someone else felt it was a choice, they choose to be that way. Is it a choice?
A child wanting to wear tight, revealing clothing isn't the same thing...at all. And yes, you may need to explain to a child that they can't wear opposite gender clothing to school (though some children DO wear it with full support from their parents.) That's not the same thing as refusing to allow them to wear opposite gendered clothing because the parent isn't comfortable with it. As I said before, it is vitally important that home is a safe harbor.
Parents in general also sometimes make the mistake of assuming a child is invested in fitting in because the parent would be, or because everyone is supposed to care about that. Some children are very sensitive to peer pressure and need protective camouflage to survive in this world. But when I was a child I honestly didn't care if I got teased or what people thought. That's not because I'm stronger but because I genuinely have less of a need for social contact so the reactions of others tend to pass me straight by.
So while a parent may need to help with protective camouflage while a child is young, at some point the child is the one who has to decide how much they care and what they're willing to sacrifice to fit in. And if the parent isn't willing to let them, that's coming from the parent's own shame, not the child's...it's another case of giving your own issues to your child and making them carry it
The strength a parent can give a child just by loving and accepting them can be immense. It can make such a remarkable difference. A parent who claims to respect how the child feels but requires the child to hid at home is just lying. I can understand feeling confused or sad or upset if your child decided they were transgendered. That's okay...but it so vital to understand those feelings are yours and your child doesn't need to carry them. If anyone needs some counseling and help in that situation, it's the parent so they can come to terms with things without punishing the child.
Yet, it's the parent who has to purchase these clothes. When that child hits 15 and 16, let him get a little job and he can purchase his own clothes. If he's gay, I'll respect that, if he's bi, i'll respect. Drifting slighty off topic, and I don't mean to be biased. I've seen some gay teens and young adults who want to dress in tight fitting clothing or loose fitting clothing, the opposite of what society calls for. Should I go out and buy them the tight fitting, or loose fitting clothes that they want? You can be homosexual or straight without looking a certain way.
Yet, it's the parent who has to purchase these clothes. When that child hits 15 and 16, let him get a little job and he can purchase his own clothes. If he's gay, I'll respect that, if he's bi, i'll respect. Drifting slighty off topic, and I don't mean to be biased. I've seen some gay teens and young adults who want to dress in tight fitting clothing or loose fitting clothing, the opposite of what society calls for. Should I go out and buy them the tight fitting, or loose fitting clothes that they want? You can be homosexual or straight without looking a certain way.
So buy conservative clothing that is appropriate for whichever gender (or all genders) they identify as. Or not, you're right. Parents buy the clothes. But if you are so uncomfortable with their gender that you force them to present as the one you would prefer (even in their own home), then you should realize the psychological harm you could be causing.
Why would one not act upon or within their nature, their identity?.
For the very same reason the OP started this thread in the first place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
On the other hand, one does not hear that a person is beastialicious.
LMAO
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
I don't see that action as fundamental to the nature or identity of a person.
I think that's subject to personal opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
A person would not identify themselves as stealered if they tended to steal.
I dont know what this means.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
Those actions are based on choice. One can choose not to have sex with animals without being contrary to their nature or identity. One can choose not to steal without being contrary to their nature or identity.
Again that seems subjective. If that's the case who are you to determine what's a choice and what's not?
Anyway, I think I got the answer I was looking for. Thank you for responding.
For the very same reason the OP started this thread in the first place.
If your parents love is conditional (for example based on your gender-expression), then there is little reason to endure the psychological hardship that can result from years of suppression/self-rejection for them.
I didn't realize you were going completely off-topic to talk about consensual incest, so yeah, there was a bit of confusion as to how you were going to relate that to being trans-gendered.
What don't you agree with, & what point exactly are you trying to make? Can you clarify?
Just to clarify I wasn't the one who went off topic. Someone brought up other forms of "deviant" lifestyles, and others gave their opinions about it, and I wanted to see how that logic applied to incest when it did not fall under the guise of consent or harming another being.
I dont know if I can agree that what someone "thinks" about or "feels" automatically locks them into a particular label or identity. For instance, if I fantazise about my neighbor's spouse does that make me an adulterer? What if someone harms my child and fantazise about killing that person? Am I a murderer? Should I be imprisoned? That's a slippery slope...infact it's all a slippery slope. So in essence I am just trying to understand the logic behind what people choose to accept or not accept.
If your parents love is conditional (for example based on your gender-expression), then there is little reason to endure the psychological hardship that can result from years of suppression/self-rejection for them.
That's really nice...except there is a huge world apart from your parents that may not be so accepting.
I dont know if I can agree that what someone "thinks" about or "feels" automatically locks them into a particular label or identity. For instance, if I fantazise about my neighbor's spouse does that make me an adulterer? What if someone harms my child and fantazise about killing that person? Am I a murderer? Should I be imprisoned? That's a slippery slope...infact it's all a slippery slope. So in essence I am just trying to understand the logic behind what people choose to accept or not accept.
I see what you mean. But you see being trans-gendered is not the same as fantasizing about being another gender. There is a difference between being something & fantasizing about being something.
I see what you mean. But you see being trans-gendered is not the same as fantasizing about being another gender. There is a difference between being something & fantasizing about being something.
This. There is a difference between being something and feeling something. I FEEL happy when I eat Thai food. I AM bisexual. It just is.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
