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My then 14 year old worked for the neighbors and saved money. First, he bought himself a computer, now a smartphone. He is 15 now.
I think that if the guy is responsible enough to do good work for others, and earns return customers, he deserves a smart phone, especially, since I didn't have to pay for it. He communicates with his clients (people he mows the grass for) through emails, and several times he needed to ask them something while he was in their yard, and they weren't home. He sent an email from his phone and got a reply right back (from their iPhone). I guess, he needed that smartphone then?
To all the people who tell chilling stories about the kids who get in trouble because of the smartphones - think again. Are you telling me these kids wouldn't get in trouble otherwise? If the child can't be trusted, he or she can't be trusted period, with smartphone or without.
I also wonder if parents who think their children don't need smartphones do not use them themselves. I would have very hard time without mine - I travel and need it for directions, I check bus schedules, I read eBooks while on a bus, I go to pick up my mother from the airport and check if her flight is late and I can stop by the grocery store on my way. I check work and personal email, I respond to emails while in line at the post office. So, while I could do it without my phone, it would be harder.
My kid does play games on his phone, but he also googles for random facts and useful knowledge, checks the weather when heading for an outdoor practice, checks his grades and assignments etc.
The only thing I insist on is that his phone is placed to charge downstairs while he is doing his homework upstairs. Otherwise there will be texts from friends and he will be distracted.
The only thing I insist on is that his phone is placed to charge downstairs while he is doing his homework upstairs. Otherwise there will be texts from friends and he will be distracted.
Good job. Keep it out of his bedroom at night too.. You're doing the right thing!
Can I live without a smart phone? yup - and I've done it on purpose for weeks at a time. When I have to work - I also have certain hours that the phone doesn't make any noise (called DND on the iphone and off peak on android phones) because I myself do not want to be bothered. There is something very freeing by saying to yourself "nobody can get in touch with me during the hours of xx and xx" - read "Hamlets Blackberry" .. it's good stuff.
When you hand your KID ( 17 and under ) a smart-phone. You are removing yourself from a position of power and giving your child a powerful resource to get around limits you have put in place.
1. Now, instead of having to talk on a real phone that you can actually hear they silently will make plans. It used to be hiding in a closet to share gossip with one or two (party lines) friends. Now it's the entire grade or multiple grades all talking to each other the entire evening after school, right there in your living room. Making plans for the evening or weekend and you have no clue about it. "They" the group starts to behave as if parents have no say in anything, I've seen it with my own eyes. Then when 8 friends are going somewhere and you as the parent have to say no, you look like the worst parent in the world.. when maybe those other 8 kids who are "going" haven't even asked their parents yet! The point is things used to be "I will ask my mom and dad" your kid would put the phone down and ask you. Now, it is not. That is what you are doing by giving a kid a smartphone with access to all of their acquaintances (notice I didnt say friends) 24 hours a day. Let's save the fact that you are giving your kid a cell phone that can share pictures of ANYTHING for another discussion.
2. Kids used to have to plan sneaking out - now, with a smart phone they don't. They can arrange meetings late at night without the parents even knowing and dreadful things can happen. (For example: Ending up raped at 13 and 14 years old - http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/201...reviewed/?_r=0) These girls were at home drinking while their parents were sleeping. They had no plans to go out until a much older guy texted them asking if they wanted to go to a party. Yes, they are idiots, yes it's def their fault. However, if phones (and all technology) had been confiscated that text inviting them out would have not made it to them till the next morning. They would have still been morons for drinking at 13 and 14, but they would have been virgin morons and not rape victims (at least for that night).
There are countless stories about stuff like this. Kids, children, are NOT able to mentally handle the responsibility that smartphones and everything that comes with them entail. I personally know parents who are restricting their kids from having anything but phones that can send plain old texts, no cameras, no videos, no apps and THEY STILL take them away at night. Guess which kids seem the happiest to just be alive? Yup.. those kids.
You seem intent on dwelling on the worst case scenarios, always. Do SOME kids get in trouble through the use of their cell phones? Of course. But, none of mine did, and none of their friends did either. So, throwing out a few cases that made the news doesn't warrant an indictment against technology in my eyes.
You hardly can have personal knowledge of anything but a small minority of young people. I would suggest you stop searching for these uncommon cases, as they seem to upset you. In the meantime, I'll keep an eye on my kids. And, I always knew where they were headed, no matter how they made plans.
I already mentioned this, but schools now are trying to be more tech savvy. My daughter gets her homework using her smartphone, online textbooks and has to do her reading as well as research on her smartphone during class.
Why would she need a smartphone to look up homework? She can't use a computer at home? And why does she need a smartphone to access an online textbook? I think you'd need a screen larger than 2"x5" to properly read a textbook,even with zooming in. And IMO that's asinine for a school to have a kid research on their smartphone in class. What about kids with no smartphones? Or is she researching it on her smartphone because she can right there rather than just doing it on a computer later?
I see no reason for a kid to have a smart phone, specially not before high school. I got my first cell phone at 17, 3 years after I got my first job. My parents never paid one penny for my phone nor my plan. Kids survived without cell phones, how is it a "safety" issue? During the day when they are at school if they have an emergency they go to the front office and call their parents/guardians.
If we had no landline I could see getting them a regular cell phone. But I agree a smart phone is more of a want than necessity. Specially if it's costly.
Now if by the time my child is old enough (no kids yet) that smartphones are cheap, maybe, but even then it's not a necessity.
Sidenote to the above story about #2, if you want to see how entirely crazy everything gets in the digital domain. Click this video. Anonymous #OpMaryville - YouTube
There is a LOT of crazy stuff out there and YOU are the ones who choose to allow it to happen to your family. It all starts with a simple text message.
I can't believe you're a technology major but you're blaming technology for societies' problems. The problem is the parents, not the iPhone. If a girl sends nudes to a male classmate, is it the fault of the inanimate handset or the parent? And anonymous is not a bullying organization. For one, they helped the FBI track down a teenager posting videos of himself abusing his cat. They have also managed to take down several racist and homophobic webpages off the internet. I don't even know what Anonymous has to do with a teen wanting a smartphone....
I got one for my kid with autism when he was 9. I got him a 3GS at the time because Apple was giving them away for free if you added a new line to your contract. Adding him with the basic data plan was only an extra $25 per month. I got him the smart phone because he already used an iTouch for relaxation when he needed to tune out due to stress/anxiety. When it came time for him to get a phone it was clear that should he need to actually CALL me he needed a device that he was 100% comfortable with so that if he was stressed out or in panic mode he would be able to function. A flip phone was not going to cut it. He felt 100% comfortable using the itouch so the free iphone seemed like the logical choice. If you don't have a kid with autism you may not know that they (high functioning or not) can totally shut down during times of stress and I didn't want him to freeze up and not call me because he was stressed out and couldn't remember the number or the phone. He's so comfortable with it (and always knows where it is) that it's something I know he'll use in an emergency. I just got him a new iphone 5C, once again for FREE because Best Buy was giving $100 credit towards a new iphone if you traded in any working smart phone. So we traded in his old (originally free)old iphone for a new free one. The idea that parents are paying hundreds of dollars for the phones is not accurate. If I had to pay $200 for one he'd have a used one passed down from me but again, there are so many trade in deals and offers it's not difficult to add one to your family plan for a $20-30 a month and get the phone for free or close to it. Now that he has Siri on his phone he also sends me messages or calls just by asking Siri to do it. For an autistic kid it's a dream come true and has a lot of benefits.
Also, we live in the city and use public transport all the time. Someone mentioned that you don't "need" a smartphone but if you're a public transportation user it's almost a requirement. The app tells me me what bus to take, how long till the next bus is there (tracked by satellite), shows me a map, lets me know where to get off with a notification if I'm on a new line, etc. True, you can take the bus without it but it has made my life so much more organized and productive. No more waiting around for late buses or assuming time tables are correct. Total time saver.
Ds is newly 10, made the cut off, and is a shy, math and science loving 5th grader, with great neighborhood friends. Dd is newly 9, but missed the cut off, and is a tall, skinny, outgoing 3rd grade force. Lol her bestie is a mos older, lives next door, and those 2 dictate a lot, while my neighbor and I remind them to be kind to the other girls who 'follow' them. When dd gets dramatic, I usually hear it at home, or at my neighbors home (we are close too) .
I was bullied as a child. Bad. I have spoken in length with my kids on that. They know to be kind and stick up for smaller kids if they are bullied. Just us. ds was wrestling with a friend, and another boy 'pants' ds's friend. The boy's mom sent me a text. I grilled ds. He was crying, claiming wrestling, he didn't know his friend would 'pants' his other friend. I grounded ds, and told him he needs to stand up and stick up for bullied kids. Fwiw, the 'pantser' , basically, lives with us, we are trying. He begged hubby to just sit with him for 2 hours at our church (ccd) instead of going home. He's at our home for the 2nd night now. The kid is a good kid, from a very, very, broken home. He never wants to leave our house. It's really sad.
We aren't perfect. Lol we were also never asked to watch this boy, when they moved. I know the history. Since he's staying in our school, I will take him to scouts. And allow him to be a part of our family.
PHONES!? That kid has an iPhone. My kids DO NOT!!!!!
Why would she need a smartphone to look up homework? She can't use a computer at home? And why does she need a smartphone to access an online textbook? I think you'd need a screen larger than 2"x5" to properly read a textbook,even with zooming in. And IMO that's asinine for a school to have a kid research on their smartphone in class. What about kids with no smartphones? Or is she researching it on her smartphone because she can right there rather than just doing it on a computer later?
I see no reason for a kid to have a smart phone, specially not before high school. I got my first cell phone at 17, 3 years after I got my first job. My parents never paid one penny for my phone nor my plan. Kids survived without cell phones, how is it a "safety" issue? During the day when they are at school if they have an emergency they go to the front office and call their parents/guardians.
If we had no landline I could see getting them a regular cell phone. But I agree a smart phone is more of a want than necessity. Specially if it's costly.
Now if by the time my child is old enough (no kids yet) that smartphones are cheap, maybe, but even then it's not a necessity.
We have the samsung note which is larger. (Free, $9 mos family plan) Of the options available to her, (tablet, laptop, netbook to school) this was the cheapest and most cost effective to me. The kids at her school that can't bring one of the three options have to go to computer lab on free time or after school. Or they can borrow the teacher's.
My son didn't ask for a smart phone, it was my wife's idea. When he was a sophomore in high school she said she thought he deserved one because he's such a great kid and always got good grades in school. So I got him one for Christmas (he had turned 16 by then).
Good job. Keep it out of his bedroom at night too.. You're doing the right thing!
Can I live without a smart phone? yup - and I've done it on purpose for weeks at a time. When I have to work - I also have certain hours that the phone doesn't make any noise (called DND on the iphone and off peak on android phones) because I myself do not want to be bothered. There is something very freeing by saying to yourself "nobody can get in touch with me during the hours of xx and xx" - read "Hamlets Blackberry" .. it's good stuff.
The fact that you think that the technology is to blame is apalling. Not only because you're a technology major, but the fact that you are placing the blame on inanimate smartphones, which does not make any sense. If the police arrest your future underage daughter on charges for sending nudes to classmates, do you really suppose that the court of law is going to take the notion of the smartphone being the culprit into consideration?
As for smartphones not being a necessity, I'm really going to get down to brass tacks with this one. Nothing is essential to sustain human life with the exception of food, water, and shelter. Cars aren't essential, houses aren't essential, jewelry isn't essential, air conditioning isn't essential, television isn't essential, heck, sometimes even clothes aren't essential. So is the main point of this premise is that we should only provide our children with the bare necessities to keep them alive and force them to earn anything that is not essential to sustain life? What a forlorn way to live.
Anything in life that can be manipulated by organisms can be used for negative purposes, and because I am a pilot, I'm going to formulate an example of the airplane, which is a Cessna 172 Skyhawk. Despite being miniscule in size to vast amounts of other aircraft, being a single engined four-seater, it has the potential to be used for less than stellar purposes. But it would be my fault for committing said actions unless the airplane had a fault as the pilot in command or a first officer (copilot, for those of you who are wondering). I could even be charged by the FAA as a passenger as being an accessory to a regulation infraction. My airplane has the potential to cause my reputation to vary according to my actions, because I control the airplane. Not even the autopilot can be blamed because it does not fly the aircraft for you, despite popular belief. All the autopilot does is hold a certain variable of the four forces of flight (lift, thrust, drag, and gravity).
Now since the airplane example may not be of general interest or relevant to a child manipulating one of their possessions in a negative outcome, I'll hypothesize another example. For many kids, riding a bike is a major milestone. The bike is not a toy, however, and has the potential to be either a two-wheeled coffin or an efficient, cost effective way for a child to get around. For the former, if a child is riding up to a stop sign located near an intersection and the brakes fail due to shoddy workmanship on the part of the bicycle's manufacturer, then the child gets hit by a car because they were unable to stop, that is not the child's fault, nor is it the fault of the driver who hit the biking child accidentally (as long as they were driving in accordance with state driving statutes and traffic laws, of course). But if the child decides that they can try to beat the driver and get across the intersection in time, then they become involved in a collision with a law-abiding driver, than the fault lies with the child, not the bike.
If you are an effective parent, than your kids will learn to use these privileges with stellar results. Pointing the finger at an inanimate object is just childish and nonsensical.
Last edited by LPDAL; 10-18-2013 at 09:18 AM..
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I have spoken in length with my kids on that. They know to be kind and stick up for smaller kids if they are bullied. Just us. 
ds was wrestling with a friend, and another boy 'pants' ds's friend. The boy's mom sent me a text. I grilled ds. He was crying, claiming wrestling, he didn't know his friend would 'pants' his other friend. I grounded ds, and told him he needs to stand up and stick up for bullied kids. Fwiw, the 'pantser' , basically, lives with us, we are trying. He begged hubby to just sit with him for 2 hours at our church (ccd) instead of going home. He's at our home for the 2nd night now. The kid is a good kid, from a very, very, broken home. He never wants to leave our house. It's really sad.
