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If you are not willing or able to be a father of this child, then don't. I have watched countless single moms be crushed by their children's crappy fathers who come and go out of children's lives; that is far more damaging to a child. I've seen children wait for birthday cards or visits from dads who no show for months or years. Every child deserves to have parents who love and cherish them to the ends of the earth. Adoption would be an option if you are not willing or able to parent. Or perhaps once this baby is born something will click inside you that changes everything. Because kids DO change everything about your life. You're either all in or you're all out. But you'll never be off the hook; someday this child will be an adult and that person will have every right to know their biological heritage. And that person will want answers for why you were unable to love them. What will you say?
Why? We never got serious and I made no promises to her. This just happened.
Can I punch you in the face for saying this? PLEASE let me! I know 4 year olds who at more mature than you.
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Originally Posted by RMOS99
Obviously I'm not saying I would abusive. But I don't think I would be a good influence on him, people who grew up in that kind of environment can't be good to a child.
You are a moron! I don't go around hitting people with wooden cooking spoons even though my mother did that to me until I moved out of her house when I was 21. I've never hit a child and I was hit daily.
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Originally Posted by RMOS99
A crying baby in my arms is like my worst nightmare!
Then get a vasectomy! Solves lots of problems doesn't it?
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Originally Posted by RMOS99
I haven't made my decision...I'm sure she's going through a difficult time but so am I. I've seen her today, asked how the pregnancy was going.
Another problem is having to lie about this to my mother and the rest of my family. I don't know if my mother would forgive me for keeping a grandchild a secret. Especially because she loves children.
You're fooling yourself if you think you will be able to keep this to yourself until the day you die. With the world of social media and the number of daily posts on Facebook about people looking for their parents, you WILL be caught! I hope your mother disowns you for this behavior. You totally deserve it.
The kid is better off without you. I hope you make really good money and that the Mom gets a HUGE chunk of it to raise your child. I do hope she wipes you off the list and makes a better decision in choosing the next man in her life who hopefully will step to the plate and be the father you are obviously too selfish to be.
I also sincerely hope that you have scheduled your vasectomy so you can continue to be irresponsible in your behavior and won't have the consequences of an innocent child as a result.
This is why I'm all for sex, but only after marriage. The consequences, in spite of very low chances, are unfathomable. I shudder to imagine being a father before the age of 35. Think of it, mid 20's year old man raising a kid. Its utterly impossible , given the low maturity they have.
Wow, there've been many responses in a short amount of time! It seems that most everyone here is in favor of your staying in the child's life. I understand that perspective. However, as a young woman in my mid-20's, I'd like to offer mine.
Women certainly have an advantage with regard to family planning. Just as they can definitively decide to carry a pregnancy to term, they can also decide to terminate the pregnancy within legal parameters. If you have not recommended it already, you should ask your partner if she would be willing to give the child up for adoption. If not, and she ultimately decides to keep the child despite understanding that it isn't what you want, then I would not fault you for not being a part of the child's life. She is making this choice all things considered.
You seem to have made up your mind regarding your priorities, so I think you need to consult a lawyer should you decide to dismiss your parental privileges. Although you've said that you are willing to pay child support, I would recommend asking your partner if she would be willing to forego child support payments if you give up your parental rights to the child. In my opinion, this allows for a cleaner break. Regardless, I urge you to speak with a lawyer to explore all of your options based on what your partner decides (e.g. retaining custody, adoption, etc).
Since you seem bent on avoiding responsibility, try and find a way to avoid making child support payments (drag out the paternity test). Moving to another state may make things easier to do this as well.
The young lady made the conscious decision to carry her pregnancy to term. The only thing that is obligated of you is to financially support the child assuming that the DNA test confirms it is indeed your biological child. Outside of that there is nothing expected of you in terms of being a presence in this child's life. The consequences of that choice are something you're going to have to live with.
I've never wanted to have children and there's nothing I value more than my personal freedom.
And yet you failed to get a vasectomy AND you chose to get naked and perform an act you know is the number one way children are created. Since you like to put yourself first....call tomorrow and make an appointment for a vasectomy. You don't want children? There's a way YOU can make sure you don't. You value your personal freedom? Snip. Snip.
No child deserves to come into this world with one of his parents thinking, "Eh. Someone else can be the dad."
Be sure you have an ice pack.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 11-02-2014 at 07:21 PM..
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, given the low maturity they have.