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This seems odd to me. I think that if your kids wanted the toys to keep for themselves for sentimental reasons, then they have a right to them (this is what I thought you would be asking), but if they don't want them, why should they care what you do or don't do with them? Unless they think you have a hoarding problem, then I don't understand why they would care. My almost 90 year old neighbor has a hoarding problem. His adult grandchildren are very good at keeping it under control, but they do have to actively things away and he finds it very upsetting.
Did your son know you wanted the toys. Perhaps he thought he was being helpful, not knowing you stuck used the toys.
I'd go with this thinking. I have lots of toys packed away from my own kids' childhood. Like you OP, I'm saving them for my grandchildren. Only our eldest has a child at this point, and he also has a big house. But he has not shown any interest in taking his stuff from our storage room. At this point, what was his, is mine to do with what I want as far as I'm concerned. The other two aren't completely out on their own yet.
When we cleaned out our parents' house as they downsized, we got rid of a lot of things we probably should have kept. Sometimes the sheer amount of stuff can be overwhelming.
This seems odd to me. I think that if your kids wanted the toys to keep for themselves for sentimental reasons, then they have a right to them (this is what I thought you would be asking), but if they don't want them, why should they care what you do or don't do with them? Unless they think you have a hoarding problem, then I don't understand why they would care. My almost 90 year old neighbor has a hoarding problem. His adult grandchildren are very good at keeping it under control, but they do have to actively things away and he finds it very upsetting.
He did set aside a number of toys to take back with him, but put the rest in the garbage. Perhaps, he really did not know that I use some of the toys for sub teaching, babysitting and tutoring (or did until my husband became severely disabled and I had to quit all three of my jobs).
Perhaps, that is why it is even more upsetting to me as I will never have the money to replace any of those items/toys.
Last edited by germaine2626; 11-22-2015 at 08:47 PM..
When my kids were 5 and 7 I needed to downsize on books. I asked the kids for help. They tossed much loved books from yesteryear like crazy. I did graba couple. But they were their books to donate or keep.
My husband painstakingly cared for his matchbox cars. Even into high school. He left them at his parents home. They let their other grandkids play with them at times. When we went there with our kids my husband asked if the cars could be brought down to share with his kids. His mom said "oh we got rid of those years ago". In the car my husband said meekly "I sure wish she would have offered them to me...i would have taken them".
Toys belong to the kids. Maybe 1 or 2 you can snag for memories. Besides that...not so much.
My children, and others, are helping me move because my husband suffered a TBI and can not be left alone, nor can he participate in the move (as it upsets him very much).
Since someone has to watch him 24/7 and we already live in the two bedroom apartment I can not help very much.
Our son flew 2,000 miles to help for one week with the move and to prepare the condo for sale.
My daughter, who lives in town, convinced her brother to at least give the dinosaurs to Goodwill.
I am just beside myself. I don't know what to do. Our daughter said that her brother threw away many other toys and items such as that while I was supervising my husband (their father).
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
He did set aside a number of toys to take back with him, but put the rest in the garbage. Perhaps, he really did not know that I use some of the toys for sub teaching, babysitting and tutoring (or did until my husband became severely disabled and I had to quit all three of my jobs).
Perhaps, that is why it is even more upsetting to me as I will never have the money to replace any of those items/toys.
Helping you move should not include getting rid of things without asking you first. If you quit all the jobs, and your son didn't want the toys, do you really need them anymore? You have every reason to be upset, but it will be better for your mental health to let it go.
My mom still has some of my toys. I've told her to donate or discard them as she sees fit. But she keeps them, even though my kids don't want them. My MIL had some of my husband's toys...she gave them to us for our kids, but the toys were so old and dirty that we threw them out on the way home.
Maybe your son felt that you were just wasting space on stuff that he didn't want and his kids were never going to use. He thought he was doing you a favor by getting rid of some of his old junk so that you don't have to try to store it in your new, smaller home. I'm sure if he knew that you still used the toys, he would not have discarded them.
What? Why would they throw away toys that aren't taking up space in their own house and you would like to keep? Do they think you have a problem with hoarding or something? I don't understand why they would come to your house and throw away their old toys. Honestly, I don't understand why they would throw away good, unbroken toys, period. Why not donate them or sell them if they thought they should be rid of them? How did they even get involved in this decision? Are they helping you move?
I would have said I'd like to keep some for the grandchildren and then donate the rest so other kids can enjoy them. There is no reason to be wasteful with toys when they could benefit other kids who might not have much.
They wanted their mom to let go of old stuff. That is all.
My mom still has some of my toys. I've told her to donate or discard them as she sees fit. But she keeps them, even though my kids don't want them. My MIL had some of my husband's toys...she gave them to us for our kids, but the toys were so old and dirty that we threw them out on the way home.
Maybe your son felt that you were just wasting space on stuff that he didn't want and his kids were never going to use. He thought he was doing you a favor by getting rid of some of his old junk so that you don't have to try to store it in your new, smaller home. I'm sure if he knew that you still used the toys, he would not have discarded them.
Most likely.
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