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Old 11-23-2015, 04:57 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,888,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
I doubt he will regret it. I have yet to regret tossing mine out along with all my school yearbooks. It was just all taking up too much space.



I agree with you. Why does it come to mind that the "children" may think you are hoarding.

OP, just let it go. It is just "stuff". Don't let it get in the way of your relationship with him.
I don't miss my high school stuff either. My mom saved all sorts of stuff like report cards and projects. I didn't care what grade I got in English in 3rd grade. I saved one short book I made that won a big award, but besides that I didn't care. I was glad when she finally let them all go.

I was however bummed when she got rid of 90% of the Christmas ornaments without offering some to me.

I can't imagine saving any of my kids toys beyond their lovies. I see using them for babysitting (not as much for tutoring, none of my kids tutors have toys involved at all). Have you been currently doing those jobs? If so, it won't be too hard to get some replacements for little cash. Make your son pay for them

I really do think your son was trying to help you out.
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Old 11-23-2015, 05:40 PM
 
12,850 posts, read 9,060,155 times
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This seems to be a mom issue in that they seem to put more emotional emphasis on kids toys than the kids do. This has little to nothing to do with the toys and much more to do with the kids are fully out of the house since the toys are gone. My wife and MIL were saving everything from the kids childhood, no matter how trivial. They made everything into an emotional sentimental trauma. If everything is important, then nothing is important. Keep those few things that matter and get rid of the rest.


And yes, they were the kids toys since you gave them to your kids. Or do the gifts come with strings?
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Old 11-23-2015, 06:07 PM
 
318 posts, read 372,812 times
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I still think OP's son was simply trying to help as much as possible out of worry for his mum and dad.

But
Quote:
And yes, they were the kids toys since you gave them to your kids. Or do the gifts come with strings?
I don't see a problem with parents keeping some of the kids playthings if they no longer want them. People keep their children's onesies, christening dresses, baby shoes and so on. You have baby pictures but sometimes items can bring back memories, and some of the mentioned items "wow, they really were that tiny". All those were purchased for the child. Keeping everything a child touched in their entire lifetime is strange, but being sentimental about some objects isn't bad or unhealthy. I have a cat collar stashed somewhere that came with a beloved pet who passed 14 years ago now.

OP, I hope things at home start getting better soon. I couldn't imagine the stress of an ill spouse and a big move at the same time. ((hugs))
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Old 11-23-2015, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,378 posts, read 64,007,408 times
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Since you are downsizing, you should not be dragging things like your grown children's toys into the next phase of your life.
In answer to your question, you bought them, so they are yours, but you are wrong to cling to this stuff.

Let this stuff go, and move on. I am a person with grown children, who has downsized from the family home, too. I kept a lot of things, hoping that the children would want them someday. Invariably, they do not. Free yourself from this notion.
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Old 11-23-2015, 06:48 PM
 
2,441 posts, read 2,609,101 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
My children, and others, are helping me move because my husband suffered a TBI and can not be left alone, nor can he participate in the move (as it upsets him very much).


Since someone has to watch him 24/7 and we already live in the two bedroom apartment I can not help very much.


Our son flew 2,000 miles to help for one week with the move and to prepare the condo for sale.

My daughter, who lives in town, convinced her brother to at least give the dinosaurs to Goodwill.

I am just beside myself. I don't know what to do. Our daughter said that her brother threw away many other toys and items such as that while I was supervising my husband (their father).
It sounds like they think you're a hoarder.
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Old 11-23-2015, 08:01 PM
 
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Good grief. Did the last couple of posters even read the thread? Germaine isn't holding onto stuff out of sentimentality, she was using the toys for her teaching and babysitting jobs.
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Old 11-23-2015, 08:20 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,888,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Good grief. Did the last couple of posters even read the thread? Germaine isn't holding onto stuff out of sentimentality, she was using the toys for her teaching and babysitting jobs.
Once in a qwhile. But mostly it was sentimental. Her kids didn't want her to hold on to them. So they tossed them. That is not horrible on either of their part. Mom is sentimental. Kids are realistic. She doesn't have room for stuff she isn't using (I'm pretty sure she said she doesn't do those jobs anymore). Kids want to unburden her. It's lost in translation.
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Old 11-23-2015, 09:21 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,189,293 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post


So CD readers? What do you think? Do my adult children have the right to throw away toys from my house that they have not used for 20 years but I still use several times a year (and hope to use more now that I have grandchildren?
IMO...no. You kept them planning to use them. It's a pity he junked them but what's done is done. You have a LOT on your plate and this isn't worth fretting about. Were I you I'd let the grandchildren pick out a few small toys on a shopping trip with Grandma.

Time to make lemonade.
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Old 11-23-2015, 09:38 PM
 
13,981 posts, read 25,962,532 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Once in a qwhile. But mostly it was sentimental. Her kids didn't want her to hold on to them. So they tossed them. That is not horrible on either of their part. Mom is sentimental. Kids are realistic. She doesn't have room for stuff she isn't using (I'm pretty sure she said she doesn't do those jobs anymore). Kids want to unburden her. It's lost in translation.
Posters are ascribing her saving the toys as sentimentality and hoarding. The OP never did. She isn't currently working because she is taking care of her husband,but she has also posted on other threads that it's a financial hardship and she needs to work.

What's done is done, and I don't see either side as being at fault here. I just think the OP is being labeled in a way that doesn't fit.
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Old 11-23-2015, 09:52 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,888,603 times
Reputation: 24135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Posters are ascribing her saving the toys as sentimentality and hoarding. The OP never did. She isn't currently working because she is taking care of her husband,but she has also posted on other threads that it's a financial hardship and she needs to work.

What's done is done, and I don't see either side as being at fault here. I just think the OP is being labeled in a way that doesn't fit.
Well not all posters can keep track of ever post someone makes. They have to take each post at face value.


I agree, she isn't likely a hoarder. But it does sound like that from her posts and the intensity of her replies. It sounds like something got lost in translation. Her kids are trying to help. She wanted those items.

More communication should have happened. But short of that...mom needs to let go. She can replace theses items with a few bucks for a thrift store and a little elbow grease.
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