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When I was in kindergarten I rode the bus with seniors in high school. They pretty much ignored us little ones. We all rode the same busses all through school. When I was a senior in high school a there were three little sisters who rode the same bus as I. They used to fight over who got to sit with me. They were all in elementary school.
When I was 3 my grandmother sent me to day camp on a bus! I rode next to an older girl (still young enough to be a CIT or camper I think but of course she seemed really OLD to me) and would fall asleep on her every afternoon on the way home. The driver would stop at our driveway and let her carry me up to the front door if I was really sacked out.
I think back to that now and I cannot even imagine there are camps that do that anymore. I remember being 4 or 5 and some older boys in the back snuck a cigarette on one morning. The driver smelled it and when we got to camp, she told us to stay put, got out, and shut the door and went to get the camp director. The kids in the back opened the emergency exit door and set us all free! Boy were we in trouble!
If the boys are much bigger than your son having him sit closer to the bus driver is probably a good idea. Or maybe there is a kid that he knows that he can buddy up with and they can sit together.
Otherwise I think he needs to learn to deal with it on his own and not have his mom drive him. Sounds like the other kids are testing him, and if he avoids this altogether they'll pursue it in other ways, just to see what his reaction will be.
My DS was very small for his age and came in for a lot of attempts at teasing/bullying the first few years at school. We did a lot of role playing with him and he learned to deflect a lot of situations with humor. There are different ways of dealing with it, humor, assertion, ignoring the other kids, whatever your son is comfortable with and works for him. It's not an overnight process and he'll probably have to deal with it more than once, but it should stop after a while. At least that's how it went for my son.
As far as riding the bus at six, if that's what is typical for your neighborhood I wouldn't change it unless the situation starts to get really out of hand (which doesn't seem to be the case). It's often the kids that are different, for any reason , that get picked on. Having his mom drive him if all the other kids take the bus would just makes him stick out even more as being different.
The world is A LOT different place today than it was when you and I were in kindergarten.
Back then 10 year olds didn't know HALF of what todays 10 year olds do. It's sad.
Kids are kids. These days they don't put high school kids on the bus with little kids, mostly because schools are so far apart and start at different times, not to mention the sheer volume who ride.
My point is that elementary kids spend time with other elementary kids so I don't see any problem with them riding the bus with them.
This was an isolated incident and didn't have to get blown out of proportion.
Kids are kids. These days they don't put high school kids on the bus with little kids, mostly because schools are so far apart and start at different times, not to mention the sheer volume who ride.
My point is that elementary kids spend time with other elementary kids so I don't see any problem with them riding the bus with them.
This was an isolated incident and didn't have to get blown out of proportion.
Like I said, many of today's 10 year olds are already too worldly wise.
If you want to risk a 4th or 5th grader "educating" your innocent 6 year old about condoms or curse words - have at it.
My kids bus is K-5 and they all have assigned seats. Kindergarteners up front and everyone else behind respectively. It seems to work - periodically they change the seating to mix things up a bit or if drama arises. Perhaps you can ask your driver to assign seats as well.
I also agree that driving isn't the solution. You can't pull your child out of every adverse situation -they'll never learn to cope or adapt. Also this particular situation may have been misinterpreted. It sounds like the boys could have been just horsing around not intending to be mean. So often I see conflict between kids in situations where one child is more physical than another and the less "hands on"child interprets something as mean when the first child is just "playing."
Last edited by laulob; 06-03-2010 at 07:38 AM..
Reason: typo
Like I said, many of today's 10 year olds are already too worldly wise.
If you want to risk a 4th or 5th grader "educating" your innocent 6 year old about condoms or curse words - have at it.
So the solution is to keep all 6 year olds away from all 10 year olds? I think not. If the 6 year old is raised right, he/she will know what to pay attention to and what to ignore.
What about kids the same age who have older siblings? Would you keep your kids away from these kids also? You never know what those older siblings might be passing down to their little brothers/sisters, who could then corrupt the innocence of your child.
So the solution is to keep all 6 year olds away from all 10 year olds? I think not. If the 6 year old is raised right, he/she will know what to pay attention to and what to ignore.
Because a child is older doesn't make them evil.
No, the "solution" is to be very selective of the 10 year olds your 6 year old is exposed to.
You can't do that when they are riding the bus with all ages.
I'd march my son right back to the bus and put him on it. Mom shielding him in this way can be far more detrimental long term than anything a bully could pull. Your son needs to learn how to stick up for himself and as long as the bullying isn't overtly physical and causing harm to your son or is being perpetrated by a much older child than he needs to learn to deal with it.
My son rides a bus everyday and has a very pleasany experience. It's a mixed bus of PK-1st graders so the ages range from 4 - 8 or so. A decent spread, but essentially all peers. He's told us of a couple instances where someone got pushy or people were teasing each other, but thankfully he has stood his ground and the problem never progressed.
I don't believe in shielding my kids from normal things kids have to deal with. If your son was on the playground and got shoved by a peer, would you swoop in and save him immediately, or see how he handled it? If he was getting teased at the pool would you stop going to the pool? All of these are situations just like the bus that he needs to learn to deal with on his own. Being put in uncomfortable, but not overtly dangerous situations is important for kids to learn to find their own two feet and make them stronger. If he can't handle a little shove on the bus, what's next?
My nephew is currently 13 going on 14. He hasn't ridden the bus in years because he was teased by a kid on the bus when he was 7 and his mother didn't want him to get hurt. He doesn't go on field trips without her as she is afraid the other kids might pick on him. Anytime anyone says or does anything to him in school mom swoops into the principal's office. He doesn't play sports since he might get hurt. He's in Boy Scouts, but his father is the scout leader to ensure he is safe from possible bad influences. He has few friends and his life revolves around his video games, legos and fantasy games. He's very fragile and can't take losing since his parents always let him win. He can't take mild teasing from kids even much younger than himself, like my 5 year old son. This is a pretty extreme example but it all started because his mother didn't want him to be teased on the bus. I'd rather have my kid beat up on the bus and march back on there defiant the next day then risk becoming the type of person my nephew is.
Just remember we parents tread a fine line of risk and safety too much of either and we create far more problems than we solve.
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