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You see, NoExcuses, I agree. I believe in natural and logical consequences. However, I think some children need more guidance when it comes to social skills.
"Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I will remember. Involve me and I will understand. But get me to think, and I will learn." This was shared with me by a very successful individual (career and relationships) who I am eternally grateful for knowing.
But kids are capable of figuring that out on their own. Guiding doesn't mean lead.
You cannot, and you should not try to, protect a child from every single little incident. Kids have to be socialized with others, older and younger. you cannot really think you can prevent any older kids from ever interacting with a 6 year old lol
How in the world will your child learn to cope if everytime anything happens mommy sweeps in and makes it better?
What happens if you get hit by a drunk driver 3 years later, who swoops then? The poor kid will have another incident and when mom isnt there he/she hasn't learned anything on how to deal with it.
Of course every parent wants their kid to grow up in a perfect world and never be hurt, thats very understandable but very unrealistic at the same time.
If this had happened multiple times and the child came home with bruises or was crying everyday then thats another issue, but a 1 time thing isn't time to raise flags yet.
I have never advocated protecting children from "every single little thing" I simply believe in age appropriateness at every level.
[quote=NoExcuses;14456094]I think it's a non-issue. The boys got a little rough getting into the seat, nothing more.
Being overprotective does children no good at all. It's dangerous.
Some people talk like the main thing on kids' minds is to corrupt and destroy other kids. Believe me, kids have play on their minds. They'd really rather get along and have fun than fill little heads with offensive things. There are kids who get into trouble from time to time, but for the most part, kids behave innocently and age appropriate.
Do you all think other kids' parents are raising
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I'm talking about in a general sense, based on the stories that I've heard in my area of what kids at 6 years old are learning on the bus. I think it also depends on where you live. Agreed that most kids have play on their minds and aren't trying to create trouble or say offensive things. But it happens and I've heard a lot of it here. Plus our buses do not put younger kids in front and older kids in the back.
And if you read my post I said the kid should get back on the bus... and my child will ride the bus when she starts kindergarten; but it doesn't mean that I won't be nervous about the risk of her learning more than what I find appropriate at her age.
The OPs son has NOT become a victim. IMO, he becomes a victim when his parents tell him "you must have done something" and this could mean anything from being annoying or not sticking up for himself. The kid did not ask for this. Could it be that the kids wanted to be playful? Yes. Did the OPs son tell them to stop? We don't know. Finding out what the OPs son said would be helpful and what the boys did afterward would also be helpful.
Two girls picked on me in 3rd grade. Know what my family told me to do? Fight back. I did and they came back with more. I had ZERO friends up until six grade. Want to know why those girls didn't like me? Because the boys liked me .
A girl who was simply a bystander during this time suddenly hated me in junior high school because her best friends boyfriend admitted that he thought I was pretty. Guess what? They remembered I was weak in elementary and they started it up again. This girl was simply a bystander in elementary but now a bully herself.
There finally came the fight between me and one of her friends who I did not know. We were both arrested. I was released but she wasn't. Way to go parents! Where is the cheerleader smiley?
I think lots of parents make the mistake of encouraging children to fight back when teaching them to stand their ground would be better. Fighting back and standing up for self are two different things. Standing up to a bully doesn't require a physical altercation. I encouraged my children to 'fight back' intellectually and psychologically. Intellectually, they would run circles around bullies with humor and/or logic, which left the aggressor dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. Psychologically, they would physically stand up to bullies by staring them down. The mere act of confidence throws bullies off. They really don't expect people to stand up to them.
I think lots of parents make the mistake of encouraging children to fight back when teaching them to stand their ground would be better. Fighting back and standing up for self are two different things. Standing up to a bully doesn't require a physical altercation. I encouraged my children to 'fight back' intellectually and psychologically. Intellectually, they would run circles around bullies with humor and/or logic, which left the aggressor dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. Psychologically, they would physically stand up to bullies by staring them down. The mere act of confidence throws bullies off. They really don't expect people to stand up to them.
Hopes, your comments are constructive but they are not instructive. I agree with you, however, listening to a dictionary is not being very intellectual. Dictionaries don't offer insight into the human mind nor is it instructive. This is why I started the other thread "Teasing vs. Taunting." It is important for kids to know the difference.
If my daughter came to me today and said somebody was annoying her, the first thing I would ask is "Did you tell them to stop?" Her next answer is very important because it would let me know if she is standing up for herself, so to speak. If she said "Yes, I did." The next important thing to know is whether the teaser stopped or not. If they did, they were just playing around and she shouldn't be coming to me and "tattling" on the other kids.
If they did not stop, then the "teaser" was walking the fine line of being annoying and taunting. If it is taunting, it is meant to hurt and she must respond differently. Being confident doesn't always fend off bullies. Sometimes there are too many and walking away is a better choice than sticking up for yourself.
Chiming in late, but that seems like a horrible way to handle the situation. Is your wife going to do something similar everytime your son tells her about a situation where someone is "mean" to him?
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I simply believe in age appropriateness at every level.
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