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Yep. Put him back on that bus. It was one incident. Talk to him about how to handle it himself and give him the tools to learn how to stick up for himself. The sooner he learns how to handle it, the sooner he won't be fodder for bullies. If it continues and/or escalates, then you step in and deal with the bus driver and transportation dept. If he doesn't ride the bus and his mommy drives him to school, you are simply teaching him to be a victim. Teach him how to handle situations, not to avoid unpleasantness.
If it`s just an isolated incident, then I wouldn`t worry about it but if it keeps happening a lot, then you need to take action.
What kind of action does the OP need to take? I wouldn't wait till it is happening a lot because that means that nobody was listening to the OPs son or taking him seriously. Adults need to be counted on from the beginning otherwise, children lose faith in us and may never tell us future incidents.
The OP needs to teach his child how to be assertive and when to know it is time to get the heck out of there. Think with the feet!
Parents need to be careful how they handle these situations because they could make things worse for the child by going in and doing the job for them or by telling them to avoid these kinds of kids. We run into them our whole lives.
This is a tricky situation because as a mother I would agree with your wife that my gut reaction is to take my child off of the bus, especially at such a young age. BUT, that may not be the best choice.
Considering it's the end of the year I would ask my child to ride the bus and role-play before at ways to stick up for his/herself if anything else happens in the future. I think a key thing here is that you said it was a kindergarten only bus. These are his peers essentially, all of virtually the same emotional development. This is the prime location in which he can learn to stick up for himself and test being more confident in rebutting things that bother him. I would hate for him to have to experiment with that once he's on a mixed bus with kids that are perhaps 8-10 years older than him.
I would pay attention to the development of your child so that next fall when he rides the bus again, you can see if anything like this happens again. A lot can change in the summertime and it may never reoccur. Just always try to keep an open line of communication with you child so he knows he can depend on you for practical and emotional support.
Personally I fear the day my child will take the bus because when they toddlers we are the ones who are educating and influencing them the most. Knowing that you're not there and other "older and more knowledgable of the world" kids will teach your child something is pretty scary in today's world. But hopefully our children will talk to us about what they've heard and learned from other kids and the strong sense of morals we teach our children will always ring in the back of their little heads.
Personally I fear the day my child will take the bus because when they toddlers we are the ones who are educating and influencing them the most. Knowing that you're not there and other "older and more knowledgable of the world" kids will teach your child something is pretty scary in today's world. But hopefully our children will talk to us about what they've heard and learned from other kids and the strong sense of morals we teach our children will always ring in the back of their little heads.
I think it's a non-issue. The boys got a little rough getting into the seat, nothing more.
Being overprotective does children no good at all. It's dangerous.
Some people talk like the main thing on kids' minds is to corrupt and destroy other kids. Believe me, kids have play on their minds. They'd really rather get along and have fun than fill little heads with offensive things. There are kids who get into trouble from time to time, but for the most part, kids behave innocently and age appropriate.
Do you all think other kids' parents are raising monsters?
Some people talk like the main thing on kids' minds is to corrupt and destroy other kids. Believe me, kids have play on their minds. They'd really rather get along and have fun than fill little heads with offensive things. There are kids who get into trouble from time to time, but for the most part, kids behave innocently and age appropriate.
Do you all think other kids' parents are raising monsters?
I totally agree with you on this, NoExcuses. I think you and I have more in common than we care to admit.
I believe that when a kid misbehaves it is merely a lack of information, guidance. I believe that this is when parents should step in and let them think about how their actions were inappropriate. I think this is where you and I disagree. I don't think all kids can figure all things out on their own, they need guidance. I am against buying a toy for my kid and telling her how to play with it or which friends to choose. I have taught my daughter that she can ask for help when she needs it. So far she is great about determining when she needs help and when she doesn't. I butt out unless there is a safety or respect issue.
We have a 6-year-old who is just finishing up kindergarten. Yesterday, he said two other kids came and sat next to him. While riding, they squeezed him up against the window.
He came home upset about it. He didn't want to ride the bus today, so my wife drove him. She also talked to the bus driver. The driver was aware of the incident, and had warned the two kids involved that if they did it again, they would go to the principal.
My wife is very upset about it, wants to drive him from now on, including next year. I think she's over-reacting. First, it was one incident near the end of the year. Second, we actually saw one of the kids in the park last night. He was friendly to our son (who did not reciprocate). Lastly, we can't protect him all the time. I think he will need to learn how to deal with these types of issues. If we just swoop in and shelter him now while he's young, I could see him having more serious issues later in grade school and middle school.
What do recommend? Both for our son on how to deal with these types of situations. And for my wife, who is very anxious about this. I would like to assuage her fears.
I have 2 sons and they've occasionally had issues at school, minor scuffles etc. These are normal things and while kids can be upset one minute they can go back to being friends the next.
For your son, just don't make a big deal out of it. These things happen.
For your wife, I'd point out to her that he is a boy and not a girl and that the incident was minor. Perhaps relate to her your own experiences as a kid and jog her memory about what the boys did at her school growing up in terms of rough housing.
She's setting him up to be considered quite the mama's boy....does she let him play any sports? Get dirty?
No, the "solution" is to be very selective of the 10 year olds your 6 year old is exposed to.
You can't do that when they are riding the bus with all ages.
You cannot, and you should not try to, protect a child from every single little incident. Kids have to be socialized with others, older and younger. you cannot really think you can prevent any older kids from ever interacting with a 6 year old lol
How in the world will your child learn to cope if everytime anything happens mommy sweeps in and makes it better?
What happens if you get hit by a drunk driver 3 years later, who swoops then? The poor kid will have another incident and when mom isnt there he/she hasn't learned anything on how to deal with it.
Of course every parent wants their kid to grow up in a perfect world and never be hurt, thats very understandable but very unrealistic at the same time.
If this had happened multiple times and the child came home with bruises or was crying everyday then thats another issue, but a 1 time thing isn't time to raise flags yet.
I totally agree with you on this, NoExcuses. I think you and I have more in common than we care to admit.
I believe that when a kid misbehaves it is merely a lack of information, guidance. I believe that this is when parents should step in and let them think about how their actions were inappropriate. I think this is where you and I disagree. I don't think all kids can figure all things out on their own, they need guidance. I am against buying a toy for my kid and telling her how to play with it or which friends to choose. I have taught my daughter that she can ask for help when she needs it. So far she is great about determining when she needs help and when she doesn't. I butt out unless there is a safety or respect issue.
I think kids need to figure out on their own how to handle themselves. Sometimes they need to get hurt to learn their own personal boundaries. If they never get hurt (physically or emotionally) they never learn how to stretch and widen their own horizons.
Sometimes they are disrespectful, sometimes they hurt each other. Those are growing opportunities not to be missed. It's good for growing kids to be away from adults while playing so they learn on their own. It isn't always going to be pretty, but that's how they learn how to deal with different personalities and situations without mom there to interfere.
I think kids need to figure out on their own how to handle themselves. Sometimes they need to get hurt to learn their own personal boundaries. If they never get hurt (physically or emotionally) they never learn how to stretch and widen their own horizons.
Sometimes they are disrespectful, sometimes they hurt each other. Those are growing opportunities not to be missed. It's good for growing kids to be away from adults while playing so they learn on their own. It isn't always going to be pretty, but that's how they learn how to deal with different personalities and situations without mom there to interfere.
You see, NoExcuses, I agree. I believe in natural and logical consequences. However, I think some children need more guidance when it comes to social skills.
"Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I will remember. Involve me and I will understand. But get me to think, and I will learn." This was shared with me by a very successful individual (career and relationships) who I am eternally grateful for knowing.
Our local school is K-8. All those kids ride the busses together. High school is seperate and begins and ends at different times. The high school is in a different location.
My daughter rode the bus for 3 1/2 years before I started homeschooling her. Little kids sit in front and the 8th graders sit in back. Each year they move back a few seats, but sometimes it's necessary for the younger ones to sit with the older ones. When the older kids act up, it's always with other older kids. I have never known them to interact or bother the little kids.
The boy in the OP needs to ride the bus so he understands that this was a non-issue. He wasn't a victim and nobody remembers it except him because his mom drove him to school because of it and reminded him of it.
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