Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You (nor anyone else) still have not been able to explain why this boy liking to wear what he considers pretty things is wrong. Until you can, I will continue to think there is nothing 'wrong' about it.
That's because there is no rational, objective reason why it's wrong. The only reasons they can come up with are based on:
Authority - God wants men to be masculine and women to be feminine, and the rules about masculinity and femininity are set by God.
Tradition - In my particular culture boys do this and girls do that and anything else is just wrong because, well, it is.
The only somewhat compelling argument is that allowing a boy to express himself in this way is "wrong" because it will bring the wrath of others down upon him. But when you dissect that argument you find that it's not an objective, rational reason. The person in the wrong here is the close-minded, intolerant bully (if it's a kid, it's because he learned intolerance from his parents). Also, it's an argument particular to a particular culture. There are and have been many cultures that tolerate and accept such things.
This argument also fails from the practical side. First, it presumes that you can suppress the different out of a kid and somehow change it. Certainly things like this can be a phase a kid soon outgrows, but some boys/men are feminine and some girls/women are masculine. If that's their nature and how they self-identify, then you're not going to be able to change that.
Parents that do try to suppress "different" personalities end up adding to the shame and stigmatization - not shielding their kids from it. They create kids with internalized shame that hate themselves - kids who feel they are inherently wrong because that's what their parents are expressing to them. Plus it's never really suppressed. The feminine boy is still feminine, and he's bullied anyway. A parent trying to repress it only succeeds in doubling the harm.
Last edited by hammertime33; 11-09-2010 at 02:52 PM..
Likewise, if you cannot tell me why tens of thousands of years of human sociological evolution should be thrown out the window then I will continue to feel that this is just wrong.
Some of these pictures are more recent than your "tens of thousands of years".
Is a kilt better than a skirt? A toga?
sheesh
Quote:
Originally Posted by Campton Springs
If you've raised kids then you know that even at 2 years old they already have preferences.
Thanks! Saved me from quoting that post.
At 2, my son was quite able to express his wishes with words and in fact knew just what he liked to eat, wear, read, watch, play with, etc.
Any normal 2 year old should be doing exactly the same. Some 2 year olds may be a bit delayed, but they should know what they like and don't like at this young age.
If you've raised kids then you know that even at 2 years old they already have preferences.
Some do and some don't, little girls are more likely to care but even then many don't.
Kids have all kinds of preferences, preferences for food, toys, and TV programs.
We monitor what they eat, play with and watch on TV (or at least we should) the same goes with their clothes. We don't buy inappropriate clothes for them, feed them pure junk food, buy dangerous toys for them or let them watch inappropriate TV.
We as parents are the ones who should guild them we don’t dress a 2 year old boy in girls clothes because he seems to like it; he is not old enough to make that choice.
Who was the adult in this family? The mother and father or the 2 year old child?
Some do and some don't, little girls are more likely to care but even then many don't.
Kids have all kinds of preferences, preferences for food, toys, and TV programs.
We monitor what they eat, play with and watch on TV (or at least we should) the same goes with their clothes. We don't buy inappropriate clothes for them, feed them pure junk food, buy dangerous toys for them or let them watch inappropriate TV.
We as parents are the ones who should guild them we don’t dress a 2 year old boy in girls clothes because he seems to like it; he is not old enough to make that choice.
Who was the adult in this family? The mother and father or the 2 year old child?
I understand what you are saying. However, the other examples of choices you give can be measurably harmful. Inappropriate TV/violent video games have lead to behavior problems and acting out, junk food leads to health problems, playing with matches and knives proves measurable harm. But as for wearing dresses, how can the harm be measured? In what way is it harming him?
Is a kilt better than a skirt? A toga?
sheesh
Thanks! Saved me from quoting that post.
At 2, my son was quite able to express his wishes with words and in fact knew just what he liked to eat, wear, read, watch, play with, etc.
Any normal 2 year old should be doing exactly the same. Some 2 year olds may be a bit delayed, but they should know what they like and don't like at this young age.
Yeah I see people in Kilts and Togas all the time, gosh how could I have forgotten.
So you let your 2 year old do whatever he wants?
Would you buy them a gun? why not?
Would you let them dress as hookers? why not?
Would you let them eat candy 24/7? why not?
Do you try to help them grow up in a safe way?
Do you have rules? why?
Would you want your kid to be a target of bullying and ridicule?
Why would anybody add emotional stress to a child’s life when it is unnecessary?
Would you want your kid to be a target of bullying and ridicule?
Why would anybody add emotional stress to a child’s life when it is unnecessary?
Parents that do try to suppress "different" personalities like this end up adding to the shame and stigmatization - not shielding their kids from it. They create kids with internalized shame that hate themselves - kids who feel they are inherently wrong because that's what their parents are expressing to them. Plus it's never really suppressed. The feminine boy is still feminine, and he's bullied anyway. A parent trying to repress it only succeeds in doubling the harm and emotional stress.
I understand what you are saying. However, the other examples of choices you give can be measurably harmful. Inappropriate TV/violent video games have lead to behavior problems and acting out, junk food leads to health problems, playing with matches and knives proves measurable harm. But as for wearing dresses, how can the harm be measured? In what way is it harming him?
You would make a child a target of bullying and ridicule, you would put a kid in an emotional situation that is not normal for a child to be in.
If your male go toss on a dress and head out in public, see how you will be treated then multiply that by 100% because children can be very cruel to each other.
I really can’t believe nobody understands what a child would go through and the emotional damage it could cause.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've raised kids don't try to BS me.
