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Who said the woman who started this "nurse-in" 'bared her breast'? One does have to uncover one's breast a bit so the baby can latch on, but it is not necessary to completely disrobe from the waist up to do so.
See above.
You would think these folks have never heard of nursing covers, nursing tanks/shirts, or even just a button down.
A. We were talking about babies getting so hungry they're SCREAMING, not just crying.
One time when attempting to grocery shop when my baby was about 2 weeks old, she woke up right after we got in the store. Halfway through the first aisle I had to turn around and take her to the bathroom b/c she was hungry and needed a diaper change. Like an hour or hour and a half later, right when I was checking out, she woke up again and whimpered a little then got into full-on screaming mode by the time I was done bagging up my stuff (idiot baggers just stood there staring, I vowed never to set foot in that particular store again due to this). It happens. If I had been comfortable enough to nurse in public, I would have just fed her while in line so she wouldn't have gotten to the point of screaming. Although, I'm sure that would have upset the cashiers and baggers.
Which is more offensive: the screaming baby or the nursing mother who may or may not have flashed a boob in the process of getting settled?
Absolutely. I certainly can't think of a good reason to turn down your own private room to nurse in. I chalk this one up to pure stubbornness on her part, whoever it may offend.
Maybe she was claustrophobic? Maybe she wasn't showing anything so did'nt feel the need to go sit in a 4x4 room staring at a wall for half an hour?who cares? As long as she wasn't sitting there with both her boobs just hanging out, why is it anyone else's business?
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Then answer my question. Who needs to be away from home more than 3 hours at a time on a regular basis (excluding those visiting relatives, as they can use one of the bedrooms there to feed)?
Maybe it's not a regular basis, maybe it was a one time thing and she couldn't feed the baby on YOUR time table and God forbid, the baby was hungry while out in public! Again, who cares?
Excellent contribution. Wanna try and do even better, though?
How can you call it wrong before even asking my definition of "dramatically"? Where the hell did you get THAT information? Lol, I'll help you out: 1-3 hours. A normal infant shouldn't get hungry within an hour of being fed til full (no, not even if they're hitting a growth spurt), nor should an infant who isn't sick or unhealthy in some way go longer than 3 or 4 hours without wanting more. NOW you may argue, based on nothing I'm sure.
You mean, "in any circumstance", and I've given room for exceptions. You may have missed them, but that isn't me being illogical.
Lol, just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean they have a lot to learn. And what does your kid being a toddler have to do with this? Toddlers can eat even LESS frequently!
Lol Define "infant." My daughter is 4 months old but has been sleeping through the night since about 3 weeks. She does not get hungry every 3 or 4 hours still. In fact, she cluster feeds at night and then barely eats 3 ounces in the morning (i.e., about 10-12 hours later). Are you saying there's something wrong with her?
As new parents, we might think we know it all, but we most assuredly don't. Your kid sounds very different from mine. DD is a good baby but she doesn't have an eating or sleeping schedule down to a T quite yet, which is mostly my fault b/c of my work hours but also thinking I know better than everyone else in that she will make her own schedule. WRONG! I need to make it for her but until everything is sorted out, I can expect to have to feed her in public (she is bottle fed). New parents learn as they go but we also need to realize not everyone parents like we do. In this case, the mothers who BF in public are not wrong, just different.
Question, do you have a problem with people who have to give their children a bottle while out in public? B/c you're saying that no parent should ever have to feed their child while out and about....
I'm not against it, but I'm making the argument from experience AND from science itself, that finding yourself in the middle of a public place with a baby screaming from hunger is not inevitable. Deny it if you will. But coming up with variations of phrase "uh-huh" will never get us anywhere.
That something is not perfectly predictable does not mean it's completely UNpredictable. You may be surprised as parents how much of an impact you actually can have on your children, if you put forth the effort. It's the only logical explanation for the experience happening to me, as opposed to "Ya got lucky, Vic!" C'mon people
But it kind of is. If it hasn't happened to you yet, consider yourself lucky, seriously. There was one time when I fed the baby and went into work for like two hours, I took her with me and she just slept in her carseat in the office area. The baby woke up and started crying b/c she was hungry. Silly me forgot to pack either the formula or bottles with water in them, I forget which now, so of course she started screaming. If I had been BFing, I could have just fed her instead of having to pack her up, screaming, to go home and get formula.
You also say earlier that a baby will likely eat between 1 and 3 hours after the last feeding. So, by that logic, a mother cannot go anywhere that takes more than an hour in case the baby wakes up and wants to eat! Not 3 hours, but 1 single hour. That is so impractical.
Breastfeeding is as natural as taking a wee and a poo, but everyone doesn't wee and poo in public, that's why there are bathrooms. When you do see that rare man taking a wee between cars, there is a reaction - usually a Yikes! or Ewwwwww kind of reaction.
When it comes to breastfeeding, to me, discretion comes to mind. Discretion doesn't always mean that people don't know what you are doing, but I certainly give a discrete mother a lot of respect for caring enough to be discrete.
I currently live in an Arab country where no thought is given by Arabs as to should I or shouldn't I breastfeed. There just isn't any question about it. Boys are breast feed up to the age of 2 and sometimes beyond. There is no age for girls, but it's usually for the first year. I have never, ever seen an Arab woman breast feed in public, it has only been westerners (US, UK) who do it in a very arrogant manner and it's usually in the food courts. And while doing so, they scan the food court looking around at who may be looking at them and you can see how uncomfortable the Arab men are by such a display. I think most men would feel uncomfortable if they had to sit and watch a woman breastfeed her child in spite of the fact that his own wife probably breastfed their child(ren).
Problem with your argument is that Arab women can't do A LOT of things that "Western" women can.
Not if you bond with them in other ways. I don't think a parent should feed a child for any other reason than nourishment, either. Sorry!
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When a breast "empties," a baby can suck for the sake of sucking. Can't do that with a bottle without getting air.
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How is this refuting anything I've said? 8 to 12 times a day is AT MOST every 2 hours. Only if you increase 12 by 50% do you end up feeding a child 18 times a day, which if anyone here thinks this is happening, I'll just let them think that for the sake of this thread's would-be usefulness.
Cluster feeding, for one. See my post above about how my daughter eats.
Problem with your argument is that Arab women can't do A LOT of things that "Western" women can.
There's no "problem" with my argument. It's cultural and about the values that are instilled in children and they grow up with, one of which is modesty in public. Even in the US parents teach (I would hope) children about modesty, it just doesn't have the same value as it does in some Arab countries.
I gather you don't know firsthand what women can do in certain Arab countries. You would be even more surprised if you saw what they wore under the abaya.
Lebanon is an Arab country, have you been there?? Lebanese women do what they want, when they want. You thinking you know the behavior of Arab women when you have never been to an Arab country is like an Arab who was never to the US but thinks he knows eveything about the US because he read about it.
There's nothing inconsiderate about breastfeeding in public. As a nursing mother I have no responsibility to anyone but my baby. I have certainly no reason to avoid doing so solely because it irrationally makes you uncomfortable.
If you feel otherwise go get the law change. Otherwise I shall nurse in public where and when I please. And you shall simply have to get over it.
First sentence, is not what I said. But the second, much closer. You really need to get off this insistence that I'm the one being made uncomfortable and it's just that "irrational". I don't know why it's so hard for you and others to understand that I'm discussing alternative points of view with you because you're only looking at one side of the coin. And responding with fits or apathy doesn't make you right.
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Originally Posted by softblueyz
That was a sarcastic response to a poster - which post was inbedded as a quote within my response (I gather you only read the response and not the post I was responding to),
No, they just want to infer the worst about their opposition, distorting this and exaggerating that because it's the only way they can look reasonable by comparison.
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Originally Posted by andrea3821
DD is a good baby but she doesn't have an eating or sleeping schedule down to a T quite yet, which is mostly my fault b/c of my work hours but also thinking I know better than everyone else in that she will make her own schedule. WRONG! I need to make it for her but until everything is sorted out, I can expect to have to feed her in public (she is bottle fed). New parents learn as they go but we also need to realize not everyone parents like we do. In this case, the mothers who BF in public are not wrong, just different.
That's all I'm suggesting, no more, no less. Active parenting. It doesn't mean things have to be on a perfect schedule. I FULLY understand that this is not going to happen with infants and toddlers, and I understand that there will be exceptional moments when a baby breaks their own routine. Lastly, I gave the disclaimer I don't know how many times, but I don't see ANYTHING wrong with mothers breastfeeding in public. I simply question exactly what's "just different" between my son's mom and other moms out there. Apparently, that's enough to offend them.
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Originally Posted by andrea3821
Question, do you have a problem with people who have to give their children a bottle while out in public? B/c you're saying that no parent should ever have to feed their child while out and about....
Me personally, I have the EXACT SAME "problem" with them, and that last sentence was never typed out on this keyboard. But I have attempted to spur constructive debate on the subject between those who think it's wrong to breastfeed in public and those who think it's inevitable on a regular basis.
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Originally Posted by andrea3821
When a breast "empties," a baby can suck for the sake of sucking. Can't do that with a bottle without getting air.
I'm aware of that. My point was that, IMO, a baby shouldn't be doing this for any other reason than feeding. Contrary as it may be to a mother's sensibilities, it's never too early to begin shaping a child to bond in ways more relevant to life after infancy. Plus, it helps with the weaning.
I only said "1 to 3 hours" to try and find common ground with moms acting like it's closer to "every half hour!" In actuality, the quickest a mom should find herself feeding her infant on multiple occasions (that you couldn't count on one hand, perhaps) is 1 1/2 hours. Now, no one's gonna take it from me, because my baby's one of those rare "easy" children that doesn't have to be fed every hour. I'm encouraged to assume he was that way at birth. Even the first link below reads, "Some newborns feed as often as once every one and a half to two hours.", "as often as" being the operative phrase.
Feeding on schedule is something parents DECIDE to do, not something the baby LETS them do. This is probably the source of much of our disagreement. Some parents feel that it's best to let baby decide when to eat, but when you find yourself finding them more often than every 2 hours, you've created a monster... so to speak. These are the women who are practically forced into feeding their children in public because they didn't think ahead. One way or another, your baby's going to get a routine down. Might as well make it one that works best for you (i.e., doesn't have you stopping in the middle of the grocery store to breastfeed them).
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