Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I agree with the woman 100%. Years ago it drove me nuts to see new mothers go on maternity leave until about 4-6 weeks after the birth, then rush back to work, giving up probably 1/2 their salary on child care and baby needs.
What's the point?
Women used to have kids because it was expected of them. Once they had them, it's too late.
God knows why women have kids these days. Especially single women.
I have to disagree here. My parents worked from the time I was just a few weeks old and I'm certain they raised me. In fact, the person who had the greatest impact on me is the person I spent the least time with. My step father who didn't even marry my mother until I was 5 and often worked two jobs to support us. Parenting isn't about punching a clock. It's not about putting in hours. Those who think it is can't see the forest for the trees.
And those of us who rush right back to work realize that parenting isn't about long maternity leaves and kids need financial support.
And, FTR, so far, I do not regret having kids....there's still time though...they're young...
Honestly, I can't imagine my life without them even with all the drama that is teenaged girls... They've been the biggest adventure of my life. I just hope I lived up to their expectations.
I have no regrets and consider my kids my best work! But to be fair it's not really my doing, they are good people with good heads on their shoulders. I do know a couple people who's kids have made their lives very difficult because of certain emotional/mental issues. Yes, they love them but they admit that "if they knew then what they know now" they wouldn't have had them. I can understand when I see what these now-adult kids have done (and continue to do) to the families. It's hard to not care or cut your kids out of your life, in fact it's probably illegal until they are over 18, so when you have a bad seed there isn't much you can do. And it's especially bad when there are other kids who don't have problems, it's so easy to fantasize about a smaller family...
No doubt there are other mothers who feel the same way, even dads for that matter. I can only imagine that her daughter's MS has thrown her into a state of depression. I also don't think it was in the best interest of her children (or husband) to write about it.
No need to wonder, mystery solved. She didn't want kids and had them anyway. She needs to realize that this is HER story and not make assumptions about others.
No, she's not the only one.
There are numerous websites (anonymous) for both women and men who hate their lives as parents.
It's not for everyone.
Women are demonized for not wanting kids, for having kids, for being sorry for having kids.
Idiots who think that women are breeding machines are just that, idiots.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mb1547
I think more than anything else, this is a good reason to make sure that you have common goals before you marry someone. People think they'll change someone, but that usually doesn't work out well in the end. It's not selfish to not want kids--it's honest. I did want children--desperately--but my life would have been easier and less stressful without mine, and there are moments when I've felt overwhelmed. Every mom feels that way at some point or another. I was willing to make that trade off--I adore my children and I don't want to think about my life without them--but when someone is honest enough to admit that they don't feel the same way, you need to listen.
And the OP is right--I think she's expressing the honest thoughts that many women have, but are afraid to admit.
Look at all of the societal, religious and family pressures on women to breed.
Parents wanting grandkids, idiots thinking that all women are built to breed (no matter what the reality is)...
There are a lot of websites about hating being a mother if anyone is interested in reality.
Here are some excerpts from the I hate being a mom websites found on a childfree website.
Last edited by chielgirl; 04-12-2013 at 03:16 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But to be fair it's not really my doing, they are good people with good heads on their shoulders. I do know a couple people who's kids have made their lives very difficult because of certain emotional/mental issues. Yes, they love them but they admit that "if they knew then what they know now" they wouldn't have had them. I can understand when I see what these now-adult kids have done (and continue to do) to the families. It's hard to not care or cut your kids out of your life, in fact it's probably illegal until they are over 18, so when you have a bad seed there isn't much you can do. And it's especially bad when there are other kids who don't have problems, it's so easy to fantasize about a smaller family...
