Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I really wish the media would stop giving exposure to obnoxious imbeciles. So you never wanted kids but you had them anyway, and then you have the gall to turn around and moralize about the hypocrisy of women who actually do want kids and are willing to work to support them?
Look, I'm perfectly amenable to debating the pros and cons of ubiquitous participation of women in the workforce and its impact on the family structure and the greater social fabric. But seriously b*tch, go f&%k yourself with a 32-prong Garden Weasel.
I'm not surprised, I'm one of the very very few woman of my age group who never wanted children an didn't have them. I was born in 1950 and the society, peer and parental pressure was enormous, sticking to my guns cost me a lot but I knew it wasn't for me and I have no regrets.
I think even today there is plenty of pressure on woman to have children even if they don't want them. I also don't think many realize what they are getting into and how much work and sacrifice it involves.
What do you expect from a xenoestrogen created man jaw?
That's why you select hormonally intact girls.
There is a reason why men are attracted to female features, not something who just by the look of it would imply eating its own young. I could not tie a rope around it and jump off the edge of a cliff to get it up for that.
This ranks really high in the "most offensive posts I have read on this forum" category.
I'm not surprised, I'm one of the very very few woman of my age group who never wanted children an didn't have them. I was born in 1950 and the society, peer and parental pressure was enormous, sticking to my guns cost me a lot but I knew it wasn't for me and I have no regrets.
I think even today there is plenty of pressure on woman to have children even if they don't want them. I also don't think many realize what they are getting into and how much work and sacrifice it involves.
I respect and appreciate your decision to not have children when you didn't want them. I wish more people that felt that way would follow your path. I love being a mother, but as a teacher I learned that it is not for everyone. The price everyone pays, from the child to society as a whole, when people go ahead and have children they don't want can be heartbreaking to witness.
My experience was the exact opposite. I felt pressure to not have kids, to go to college and "make something more of myself". Stay at home moms were a special kind of "loser" who couldn't hack it in the real world. When I was 20, 21, I was never going to do that, I was getting an education and experiencing life beyond kids and family.
Fast forward 13 years and my biggest regret, hands down, is going to college. I wish I didn't have those loans and could afford to be a SAH mom. I wish I could have more time to experience my daughter.
I'm wondering if she is just expressing the honest thoughts that many women have, but are afraid to admit.
'Dutton believes she simply lacked the wiring for motherhood. She never wanted kids, but didn't want to deny her husband the experience. But then she says some things that make me wonder whether her feelings might have as much to do with the choices she made as a parent than her choice to be a parent in the first place.
"I cannot understand mothers who insist they want children - especially those who undergo years of fertility treatment - then race back to work at the earliest opportunity after giving birth, leaving the vital job of caring for them to strangers… Why have them at all if you don't want to bring them up, or can't afford to? And why pretend you wanted them if you have no intention of raising them? This hypocrisy is, in my view, far more pernicious and difficult to fathom than my own admission that my life would have been better without children.'
I will take them. My youngest is off to college, so we could use a few more kids. My kids are the greatest joy in my life (next to my wife) and I could not have imagined those years without them. But then again, I am fairly boring and the kids provided endless entertainment- they still do when they come around.
I agree about not understanding the idea of having children and then turning their day-to-day raising to someone else.
That makes zero sense to me.
I do understand what they mean about the hard work. It's work. And the only thing I *hate* about it is that my general level of anxiety has skyrocketed because I now have this person whose well-being I will worry about for the rest of my life.
Honestly, I think that if I had my kid when I was younger, I might have had a different reaction to him and his needs and his, er, quirks, etc. But I was 35 when he was born (in 2011). Financially secure, the pinnacle of my career, and I had traveled the world many times over.
No matter how he acts or fusses or where the poop is or whatever, I just find him endlessly hilarious. He's a good kid overall. He is happy and smart, but impatient and demanding. I can see how someone else less patient could lose their sh** from time to time having to deal with him. I know my wife does. But I think he's awesome and I don't know if it's bad for his psyche or ego or whatever, but when he has a tantrum, I usually burst out laughing...it's so ridiculous.
I dunno. I've never been a motherly type. I never played with dolls. I had no ticking clock. I am not even biologically related to this kid. But I think he is the absolute bomb. Whatever work he is or whatever, we chose to bring him into this world, so resenting him for any "inconvenience" is inconceivable to me.
I know people think parents are secretly jealous of single or childless couples or whatever. That is utter crap. I wouldn't trade this for anything, and I know many people who live for their kids and adore them.
I agree about not understanding the idea of having children and then turning their day-to-day raising to someone else.
That makes zero sense to me.
I do understand what they mean about the hard work. It's work. And the only thing I *hate* about it is that my general level of anxiety has skyrocketed because I now have this person whose well-being I will worry about for the rest of my life.
Honestly, I think that if I had my kid when I was younger, I might have had a different reaction to him and his needs and his, er, quirks, etc. But I was 35 when he was born (in 2011). Financially secure, the pinnacle of my career, and I had traveled the world many times over.
No matter how he acts or fusses or where the poop is or whatever, I just find him endlessly hilarious. He's a good kid overall. He is happy and smart, but impatient and demanding. I can see how someone else less patient could lose their sh** from time to time having to deal with him. I know my wife does. But I think he's awesome and I don't know if it's bad for his psyche or ego or whatever, but when he has a tantrum, I usually burst out laughing...it's so ridiculous.
I dunno. I've never been a motherly type. I never played with dolls. I had no ticking clock. I am not even biologically related to this kid. But I think he is the absolute bomb. Whatever work he is or whatever, we chose to bring him into this world, so resenting him for any "inconvenience" is inconceivable to me.
I know people think parents are secretly jealous of single or childless couples or whatever. That is utter crap. I wouldn't trade this for anything, and I know many people who live for their kids and adore them.
Great post. Being a mother is not a requirement and certainly women should not feel pressured to have children. In fact more thought on the subject prior to getting pregnant is a good thing. However, the folks who have kids and regret it are speaking for themselves only whether there be thousands or millions. Some on this board seem to feel the rest of us who have no regrets are somehow "repressing" our feelings on parenthood. Utter crap was the perfect phrase for thoughts along those lines. Kudos.
My experience was the exact opposite. I felt pressure to not have kids, to go to college and "make something more of myself". Stay at home moms were a special kind of "loser" who couldn't hack it in the real world. When I was 20, 21, I was never going to do that, I was getting an education and experiencing life beyond kids and family.
Fast forward 13 years and my biggest regret, hands down, is going to college. I wish I didn't have those loans and could afford to be a SAH mom. I wish I could have more time to experience my daughter.
My wife is about to stop working to stay at home with our (about to be) two children. Luckily she had a full ride scolarship so there were no loans to repay for her BSN. She is so excited to quit working for a few years, and focus on the little ones. Look at the bright side, with the College experience, you'll be able to help your daughter with her homework as she gets older!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
