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Sadly, that is probably true, but if it is, it's just a symptom of a greater disease. But let's not make an absurd claim that this is not selfishness .... this woman personifies the core essence of EXTREME selfishness, and it oozes from every pore. Certainly, it's a personal choice to bring children into your world, and if one chooses not to, that is their decision to make, and it doesn't matter what the reason. But, to acquiesce to having children that you did not want, just to placate or please your partner, is just another demonstration of selfishness. Worse yet, even now, 33 years later, she apparently still insists on blaming her grown children for the choices she made, which they had no part in making. I say, contrary to her feelings of victimhood, it is her children who were, and still are the true victims.
There is a particularly foul and offensive nature expressed in her "honesty" (as you call it) when she says about her daughter (the 2nd child):
"Yet I dreaded her dependence; resented the time she would consume, and that like parasites, both my children would continue to take from me and give nothing meaningful back in return".
This is not an example of "honesty" ... this is a totally unnecessary public affirmation of spiritual bankruptcy, as well as a disgusting level of selfishness, and the absence of normal human emotion that comes naturally to most people. Even the most rough and tumble male can find their more gentle side, summoned by the bright, innocent eyes of a child who looks to them for love and protection. This women sees only parasites? My oh my ... to refer to any child as a parasite is disturbing, let alone your own children. So she looks upon her own children as "parasites", consuming her and taking from her, while giving nothing meaningful back to her? Nice. This woman is not honest, she's honestly an extreme example of a narcissist, and likely a pure sociopath, who wants to blame her children for her own inability to find beauty and joy in life. But if a person cannot can't find even a glimmer of beauty in the eyes of their own children, the search for such beauty will be futile.
Having these feelings is one thing .. expressing them publicly, and in plain view of her grown children is the ultimate and continued demonstration of her extreme narcissism. And for what purpose does she publicly reveal these emotions and feelings? So, she can "feel better", and get this off her chest? Or, are these the actions of a vindictive, hateful women who decided to deliver a psychological body slam to those "parasites" as payback for "ruining" her life? A person with even an ounce of compassion or empathy would take such feelings to the grave, rather than make them public, and inflict the emotional distress such remarks will cause her grown children to feel. Applaud her honesty? I think not. She's a spiritually bankrupt creature, perhaps deserving pity ... but nothing more than that.
And they won't let women have them until they've had a kid already.
The ignorance of some people is beyond me.
They participate in threads where this is posted frequently and still they deny the facts.
Not true. I have friend who's 30 year old daughter just had a tubal. She doesn't have kids and never wants to have them. All she had to do was meet once with her doctor to discuss the surgery and it was scheduled for a month later.
Not true. I have friend who's 30 year old daughter just had a tubal. She doesn't have kids and never wants to have them. All she had to do was meet once with her doctor to discuss the surgery and it was scheduled for a month later.
That's absolutely rare.
Young women that I know have been turned away and told to come back when they're 35 or after they've had a kid.
Even I had to see 3 doctors before my tubal decades ago, and in a different country.
No doubt, this woman is a liberal....solidly of the women's liberation ilk and inconspicuously a supporter of abortion. Her liberal credo is right there for all to see. Which makes her pretty much scum as far as i'm concerned.
I feel for her husband. And even more for her children.
So the women that decide they don't want children in their life at all, have no buisness being in the company and enjoying other peoples children, and should keep to themselves like they want.
Try Googling "Do Parents envy the Childfree". Read some of the links that come up. Or read some of the threads on the Parenting Forum. If you truly believe that there not any folks who are believers in the universal regret of parents, I have a bridge for sale you'd just love.
And thanks for the heads up on parenting. I so needed your sage advise.
Then link to that here vs. just ranting and being an a**hat in general. I don't read the parenting forum--it makes this forum look almost sane. Evidently you do--and that forum is FULL of "advice", so I'm not quite sure why you'd find mine unacceptable or out of place...unless you just want to whine.
So the women that decide they don't want children in their life at all, have no buisness being in the company and enjoying other peoples children, and should keep to themselves like they want.
Therapy 101 for the deranged....isolation
What the hell? They can't be great aunts, friends, cousins to my child?
Children are hard enough to raise when you REALLY want them...Please do everybody a favor(yourself,your kids and society)and DO NOT have them unless you really,really,REALLY want them!!!
Then link to that here vs. just ranting and being an a**hat in general. I don't read the parenting forum--it makes this forum look almost sane. Evidently you do--and that forum is FULL of "advice", so I'm not quite sure why you'd find mine unacceptable or out of place...unless you just want to whine.
It wasn't unacceptable, just funny. As in Hahahaha.
Here is a quote from a post made today in the Retirement Forum.
"I think most who have had children are lying to themselves if they think they would not go back and change something about having children: not had any at all, had less children"
Again, I would disagree with this opinion. I think most parents have regrets about mistakes in parenting they perceive they made. But, I do not think that parents who state they have no regrets about having kids are lying to themselves or repressing their true feelings or bowing to some sort of societal pressure. To suggest otherwise is as obnoxious as parents who think a child free person is missing something. Why not just respect each other's choices?
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