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Easy. Suck it up and don't patronize those businesses. That's what most adults do. Blacks arent the only people who get crap service. indeed, when most people get shoddy service, for any reason, they choose to never return.
Anything beyond that is needless whining.
'm not looking for life advice and i'm not looking to whine. I'm just mentioning various personal experiences to support another users point that most storeowners from those backgrounds strongly dislike their black clientele.
No I do not. However the majority of blacks are poor. The majority of blacks have a ghetto lifestyle. And with the exception of the Atlanta area, most black neighborhoods are poor. Middle class black majority neighborhoods are a rarity and a affluent black majority neighborhood even more rare. Just read through the C-D regional forums. In the Boston area, there is only one affluent black neighborhood and that's in Milton.
The majority of blacks are not poor nor do we have a "ghetto lifestyle" lol. And there are middle and upperclass black people all over the country. I live in Atlanta and I live in a poor black neighborhood even though I could have moved down to Cascade or Niskey Lake or to an affluent black portion of DeKalb County. But I didn't want to be that far from downtown where my husband and I work. I live around plenty of low class (meaning poor behaving) people and plenty of great neighbors who are hard working but don't make much money.
And Boston is not representative of all middle or upper income black people in this country. As was pointed out on a few threads here on CD, many middle income to upper income black people chose to live in lower income neighborhoods around black people like myself. We don't have as much of a judgmental attitude that you and others (even other black people) have of lower income black people. Also, many of us, due to our parents and grandparents being denied educational and economical opportunities, grew up in low income families. I did along with my husband so to speak ill of people who work but don't make as much money as us is just shallow IMO. Plenty of upper income Asians and blacks are what I consider snobby and stuck up and not based in reality. They like to look down on people or feel that if someone acts a certain way who is black that said person represents the whole race of black people, so people like you especially think that all black people are "ghetto" or live in poor neighborhoods. And even if we do live in a poor neighborhood it doesn't mean that we are "ghetto." Due to my address you would think I'm ghetto. I more than likely, from your description of your work, make more money than you do.
True across the board. But poor blacks have absolutely no money sense. Asians who are poor will work two jobs and are able to save towards a life goal. Poor blacks are not able to and those are the blacks who should not be buying bling or buying fast food. Asians cook more at home, which is much cheaper and also a healthier lifestyle. Poor blacks buy fast food instead and become overweight.
Again you are stereotyping millions of people, both Asians and black people. You act like black people do not work two jobs. When we were poor, my husband worked 3 jobs. My dad always had two jobs. My mom frequently worked two jobs as well. And plenty of poor black people have a "life goal." I was speaking to my co-worker the other day, she is thinking of getting a PhD. When she was younger, less than 20, she had a child out of wedlock and was on welfare but was determined to finish school and now has two master's degrees, one from a prestigious NE school and is the head of a department in our company. My mom was similar to her but my mom dropped out of school and worked her two jobs for a few years, then went and got her GED and a college degree and opened her own business. There are many stories of black people doing similar things. So for you to think that we do not have "life goals" is pretty judgmental shortsighted.
And FWIW, I rarely had fast food as a child. Instead we did eat a lot of starchy and fatty foods that were cheap, but I wasn't overweight since I played outside all day pretty much every day. We were poor and had "government" cheese and peanut butter and that nasty powdered milk, my mom made meals practically every day (days she didn't we ate better at my grandmother's house, my great grandmother was a trained cook and baker and cooked everything from scratch). Being overweigt and obesity are major American issues and even Asians here in America are overweight compared to Asians in Asian countries.
Quote:
Originally Posted by golgi1
You miss the point, completely. Missing this particular point, on a larger scale, is partly responsible for much of the social dysfunction in lower class society.
I didn't miss any point. The poster stated that ghetto blacks like to buy bling. I stated that it is materialism and consumerism that drives the need to be "better than the Joneses" essentially. All parts of our society do this. It is not any different in other ethnicities in out country.
The finer point that eluded you is that it's not materialism or consumerism that is dysfunctional or abnormal, but the social value on relatively ostentatious displays of what are considered vulgar status symbols that is dysfunctional. This dysfunctional social value leads to often unmitigated funneling of cash and resources (work, stealing, etc..) toward obtaining functionally meaningless symbols of false status. Instead of putting cash toward real assets that will boost the actual status of family and community, such as education, businesses, better food, better child rearing, free time and more, the ultimate value is instead placed on overpriced meaningless symbols that do nothing to increase actual status. It's a false status trap that communicates lower status rather than higher status.
I personally do think that materialism and consumerism are dysfunctional, especially when people put their livelihood at risk just to buy something. Plenty of white people are in tens of thousands of dollars in debt, as are Asians, and Hispanics, and black people, this is because our entire society places value on having "stuff" over valuing the positive things you mention above.
It might surprise you to know that the real top-out-of-sight upper classes wouldn't be caught dead driving cars like a Mercedes Benz or wearing shirts with ponies on them. Such things are considered vulgar. Such status symbols are actually symbols of lower class than people should be aiming for, and ultimately are symbols of a mind that is mired in the values of a less than optimal social class. It's a poverty of mind that is rightly condemned because the social results are absolutely, unequivocally destructive.
This paragraph would be great if people actually did condemn the destructive forces of materialism and consumerism. Our society does not because our economic prosperity is driven by these ails. I personally don't care what anyone drives. I know I make good money and I drive a beat up mini-van that is fully paid for. I also live in what you and the above poster would see as the "ghetto" because I don't want to pay more than $600 a month for a mortgage. But due to me being frugal, others think that I am "less" than they are. I have friends in my own income bracket who encourage me constantly to buy more stuff and speak of how cute this stuff is and they buy their kids lots of crap and think I'm somewhat abusive because I refuse to buy my kids a video game system.
It's true that some members of all groups fall into this trap. However, this impulse should be aggressively routed out of any culture wherein it is deeply embedded.
Well then, this needs to be done on a wide range across America. Black people do not have a monopoly on this. It is just that black people, like always are used as an example of a failure. I personally do not accept that, not of myself nor of poor black people or other poor people in this country. No one is greater than or worth more than another person just because they have more money. And I wouldn't say "some members of all groups fall into this trap." I believe the majority of all groups fall into this trap. It is just that other groups would rather look at black people as the worse, when they aren't. I know a lot of non-black middle income people who buy $350,000 homes they can't afford and Denalis and Coach bags and Golche and Gabana small bottles of perfume that cost $100 or more. So I am not sure if you are just railing on consumerism and materialism in general, but if you , like Miu want to lay all the blame for these ails at black people, you are sorely mistaken and like you said, you "missed the point completely" of what I was saying.
Also keep in mind that: Some/many legitimately middle class black areas just get less-than-great reputations by racist people of other communities judging them b/c of their racial makeup. So some people who aren't familiar with the town would just write if off as a ghetto.
Most do hate (or strongly dislike) their black customers.
I have so many experiences with so many different store owners that I can't even begin... and to "hate their customers ghetto lifestyles" is ridiculous and ingorant. How can you know somebody without knowing them? I am a professional whose been treated like crap on so many different occasions by these store owners.
I drilled down on your town's data it appears a third of your town is foreign born. I suspect that has a lot to do with the schools being good. I'll have to take your word for it though. Id be interested in a breakout of school performance by race for your town though.
I live in PG county and the schools are horrible, rated the 2nd worst in the state most years.
This is an interesting statement, particularly because the bulk of Asian fast food restaurants (which greatly contribute to high obesity levels) are usually situated in low income Black neighborhoods.
Gee... it must be an Asian conspiracy to ruin health of the black community. But again, further proof that poor blacks are too lazy to cook their own food at home and don't care enough to try to eat healthy.
Gee... it must be an Asian conspiracy to ruin health of the black community. But again, further proof that poor blacks are too lazy to cook their own food at home and don't care enough to try to eat healthy.
Most do hate (or strongly dislike) their black customers.
I do know that waiters in restaurants hate to serve black families and black women because they have a reputation for not tipping well. And black families tend to leave a huge mess.
So.... if the black community is doing so great, can we end affirmative action now?
And how do you feel about NC now requiring a government issued photo id in order to cast a ballot? Is it wrong for the NAACP to get involved?
When did I say anything about "the black community" and how they were doing. I speak of individuals and don't generalize millions of black people. Some are doing poorly, others are doing well, just like Asians. And FYI, Asians also get affirmative action, especially Asian women and as I'm sure you know white women are the largest beneficiaries of affirmative action. I personally would like to see it continue for the next 50 some odd years, but that is my personal opinion. I do find it odd though that so many of you mention it like it is really helping large majorities of black people especially. It really isn't. I'm sure people think I am a beneficiary since I went to college and have a good career, etc. But I have spent the majority of my adult life in Atlanta, where black people are not a large minority and I went to an HBCU and I work for an organization that is majority black. We actively seek to hire whites, Asians and Hispanics due to that.
In regards to government IDs for voting, I don't agree with them, but not so much because of the risk of disenfranchisement, as I know younger black people, if they want to vote will get the ID and that most black people already have an ID. I do worry about seniors though as I work in housing with the senior community and many of them do not have valid IDs for voting, there are now new requirements to get a license here in GA that even I think are hard to comply with for older people who don't drive and don't have the resources to obtain all the necessary documents now required for a driver's license.
After passing the ID law, GA enacted a program to allow people to get free IDs and even free transportation to the ID facility. I don't like this law because it wastes tax payer money at the state level. Here in GA I pay more in state taxes than federal taxes so I don't agree with them doing this stupid ID crap and giving people free rides (the state pays for vehicles and gas and maintenance) or free IDs (the state pays for the card and the ink, which is REALLY more expensive than people think) when voter fraud is so rare (less than 1% of votes are fraudulent, so it is a huge waste - please see where I mentioned I am frugal and I just don't like to waste money at all).
I do know that waiters in restaurants hate to serve black families and black women because they have a reputation for not tipping well. And black families tend to leave a huge mess.
The tipping part is actually true. Black people do tip less. What is not clear however, is whether they get poor service to begin with and thus tip poorly or tip poorly unrelated to the service. Call it a chicken or egg dilemma.
I do know that waiters in restaurants hate to serve black families and black women because they have a reputation for not tipping well. And black families tend to leave a huge mess.
That's how it things become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Since waiters are prone to have a negative attitude towards black customers, they may feel less taken care of in that situation; and as a result tip less.
But i'm more so speaking of most asian-owned convenience businesses such as beauty supply stores, chinese food restaurants, small clothing stores and the such...where tips aren't given.
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