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I am a male who doesn't drink alcohol but yet earlier in my life was raped by a female , and as a male so called victim had a polar opposite experience as a female would have being raped.
I as a male had some of the best sex of my life , yet
I was technically raped by a woman.
The above mentioned scenario doesn't happen in
the case of a woman ( it''s a nightmare ) for them.
Your focal on stopping black out drunks doesn't
achieve any desirable resolves ( because ) we
still have Medical Induced Black Out's In WOMEN
which can not be stopped simply by not drinking
alcohol.
You see the one and only one solution to this age
OLD PROBLEM is to FORCE MEN TO CONTROL
THEIRS SEXUAL IMPULSES TO RAPE WOMEN.
Not to jump in here, also not to ruin a good memory for you, generally considered a fantasy by most men, but sometimes I think men would have a better perspective about rape if they considered being raped by another man. That tends to change the dynamic more in keeping with how women feel about this horrible crime that men sometimes just don't get too well and/or well enough.
Speak for yourself. My parents raised me just fine, and most of my family and my friends are the same way.
how old are you? are you a very young person or are you a generation ahead of these kids?
and im glad you were raised well. I was too... im even doing my best to raise some boys well too.
I suppose there is no real point here. as far as I am concerned the culture is lost. we wont get better at least for a while. that means more girls are going to be violated and those most responsible for the culture going south will be utterly shocked and not have a clue why things are so bad.
I'll tell you why. Because even if everyone is 100% alert, 100% ready to defend, 100% sober - there will still, and always, be those who are strong and those who are weak.
The Brock Turners of this world are strong, and they prey on the weak. That is not OK.
It makes no difference if he uses force to attack a woman who is physically weaker, or if he forces himself on an unconscious woman. It doesn't matter how specifically it came to be that there's a situation where he's strong and she's vulnerable.
What matters is how the strong treats the vulnerable, because that's one hundred percent the choice and so one hundred percent the responsibility of the strong. It was Brock Turner's character that was put to the simplest of tests - protect, ignore, or violate? - and it was he who failed. And that fact remains no matter the rationalizations - his, his fathers', or yours.
I would REP you 2 or 3 Times But The City Data Forum doesn't believe in that sort of thing.
Listen, I'm in the vast minority here because I think there needs to be a major discussion around binge drinking of young men and women. It's particularly dangerous for young women to do because it leaves them in such a vulnerable position.
We teach our children to drive defensively. We tell them not to leave their purse in the shopping cart and walk away to get something. We tell them not to leave expensive items in their car where they can be seen, and to make sure their doors are locked. We tell them if they're at a bar and turn their back on their drink for any period of time, you're done with the drink. But for some reason the minute you mention young women can do a lot in the way of staying safe by not drinking to the point of blacking out, you're a victim blamer, even though it's said in general and not with regard to this particular case/victim.
But your attitude is horrendous. Rape isn't a lesson to be learned. The only lesson that needs to be learned is on the part of the criminal who raped her.
I don't think anyone is saying binge drinking is a good thing. In the victim's letter, she specifically said that drinking that much was a huge mistake. She had lost some of her tolerance to alcohol in the year she didn't really drink since graduating from college. It's a mistake that many of us make. The thing is, blaming the alcohol rather than blaming the rapist makes it seem like *punishment* for that mistake (which, by the way, was legal for her to make though her rapist was not yet old enough to drink) was rape.
And if she hadn't been drinking, he almost certainly would have raped someone else. Maybe she wouldn't be been passed out, maybe she would have. Maybe he would continue kissing and groping people at the party without so much as speaking to them, like he tried with the victim's sister, until he got the guts to attack a less-than-incapacitated woman. Maybe he would have gone upstairs to where someone in the house was asleep and taken advantage of them that way. He was looking for any "action," as his father put it, that he could find - whether they were able to consent or not.
And if she hadn't been drinking, there would have been some other excuse used to minimize her experience. When I was raped as a 17 year old, the reason I "asked for it" was that I once dated my attacker and willingly went to his home. Now, we were just friends, I was there to tutor him, and had no idea his parents weren't going to be home, but somehow the police and other authority figures blamed me far more than they blamed the man who raped me, took my virginity, and got me pregnant in my junior year of high school. He never saw a day behind bars and went on to rape other young women. If a woman is not pulled off the street during broad daylight in a good neighborhood wearing a parka to be raped by a stranger, then there are MANY people, including many people in authority positions, who will try to blame her. Alcohol is just an excuse.
That's rape culture.
What's certain, though, is this guy grew up in an environment where he could do no wrong. Both his father and female friends' letters to the judge show that the community he was raised in was patently dysfunctional. Brock has showed ZERO regret for his actions and refuses to take any responsibility for being a rapist. His father shows more concern for his son no longer eating pretzels and steak than for the girl he raped.
I don't think anyone is saying binge drinking is a good thing. In the victim's letter, she specifically said that drinking that much was a huge mistake. She had lost some of her tolerance to alcohol in the year she didn't really drink since graduating from college. It's a mistake that many of us make. The thing is, blaming the alcohol rather than blaming the rapist makes it seem like *punishment* for that mistake (which, by the way, was legal for her to make though her rapist was not yet old enough to drink) was rape.
And if she hadn't been drinking, he almost certainly would have raped someone else. Maybe she wouldn't be been passed out, maybe she would have. Maybe he would continue kissing and groping people at the party without so much as speaking to them, like he tried with the victim's sister, until he got the guts to attack a less-than-incapacitated woman. Maybe he would have gone upstairs to where someone in the house was asleep and taken advantage of them that way. He was looking for any "action," as his father put it, that he could find - whether they were able to consent or not.
And if she hadn't been drinking, there would have been some other excuse used to minimize her experience. When I was raped as a 17 year old, the reason I "asked for it" was that I once dated my attacker and willingly went to his home. Now, we were just friends, I was there to tutor him, and had no idea his parents weren't going to be home, but somehow the police and other authority figures blamed me far more than they blamed the man who raped me, took my virginity, and got me pregnant in my junior year of high school. He never saw a day behind bars and went on to rape other young women. If a woman is not pulled off the street during broad daylight in a good neighborhood wearing a parka to be raped by a stranger, then there are MANY people, including many people in authority positions, who will try to blame her. Alcohol is just an excuse.
That's rape culture.
What's certain, though, is this guy grew up in an environment where he could do no wrong. Both his father and female friends' letters to the judge show that the community he was raised in was patently dysfunctional. Brock has showed ZERO regret for his actions and refuses to take any responsibility for being a rapist. His father shows more concern for his son no longer eating pretzels and steak than for the girl he raped.
Sorry to read your story, and I sure hope this man who "went on to rape other young women" ended up behind bars. You don't say...
These issues are already difficult enough without adding the "fog of alcohol," but another challenge for men, I think, is the many different "signals" they receive from women, real or perceived. Add the fact that lots of men just don't think clearly, even about less "compelling" subjects, and so continues the story of mankind.
Still hardly different from animals in too many respects...
Quick question, have you had a sister, mother, cousin, any female friends, get drunk? Should being raped be the lesson they should have learned after drinking?
So many other bad things can happen while passed out drunk... so the point is, NO ONE should ever drink to the point of passing out. And that is why some of the blame does lie with the drunkard. And not every passerby can be counted on to be a gentleman or good Samaritan. That girl was plain stupid to be drinking so much in the company of strangers. Where were her girlfriends at? What idiot goes to a campus party like that alone and without other friends to look out for each other.
And yes, I am tired of decades of watching young girls, teen girls and young adult women dressed up like sex kittens. Every young woman wearing thong panties, with a tramp stamp, odd body piercings, high heels and a Brazilian wax job or a landing strip. They come across as being ready for sex at a moments notice, so of course the boys think that the girls want sex as much as they do. And the kids are indeed having sex at a much earlier age than when I was young.
Going forward, can we employ some honesty here and stop calling this "rape", those charges were dropped.
Go ahead, we'll just continue calling it what is was, RAPE.
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