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That's true. My husband worked was a detective in sex crimes, so he actually views men as creepier than I do. I had never thought of men as creepy in general, but my husband has assured me, they are.
It’s all about perspective, isn’t it? I mean, one’s own personal experience has great influence on their perspectives, and can blind them to the greater reality which may reside just beyond their limited view. While there are few rules for which there are no exceptions, one of them is that whatever it is that you are looking for, you will find, and you will never find that which you aren’t looking for.
I honestly don’t know how any LE can maintain a balanced and unbiased view of humanity when all they deal with on a daily basis is the lowest and most negative expressions of it. There comes a time when repeated exposure to negative people has to affect one’s perceptions of people in general. If you have to wade through filth day in and day out, it’s inevitable for one to eventually see the world as predominantly filthy. This is an inescapable hazard associated with that occupation. If you deal with vile predators day in and day out, it could be easy to fall into a skewed view that the world is overflowing with them, and begin expecting to find them everywhere, and in everyone that fits the profile … in this case, the profile being a male. But since your husband is also a male, I’m assuming, what then insulates him from this inherent creepiness himself? Has he received some special dispensation from the Pope or something?
People make these broad generalizations, as if that is actually a valid way think, when it isn’t. But it is natural to develop tunnel vision. We are all a products of our experiences and environment, and that more than anything else plays a massive role in shaping our beliefs.
The greater reality is that those vile expressions of men are the extreme cases that reflect a minuscule fraction, with the overwhelming majority being kind, decent, well meaning and highly valuable, irreplaceable members of society who are indeed being demonized and attacked from many directions these days. It’s become a popular pastime, like a hobby.
And if you happen to be a white male? Forget about it. We are singularly responsible for every bad thing that is happening, and has ever happened throughout the course of human history, and always devising knew and better ways to harm and subjugate brown people, that is, when we aren’t raping and beating women.
That is apparently the great “white privilege” I keep hearing about.
I really do feel bad for todays youth!!!!! I grew up in the 80s and back then we weren't automatically divided into two camps. It was rare to discuss politics and if we did, it was at a very cursory level. Sure we all had political identities about being a Democrat or Republican but when it came to dating, this was rarely an hurdle when dating someone.
Fast forward to today and political affiliation is one of the biggest filters that the young kids need to overcome. Thank god there are still young kids that are apolitical, but many aren't. It's a huge filter and automatically eliminates half the dating pool.
So glad we never had to deal with that back in the day! Back then it was all about pure dating, having fun and doing what young kids do without all the darned filters. We simply didn't have the level of hatred that exists today.
So yes, I can see why kids are lonely and divided. It's a shame.
In the 80's the barrage against men's decision making began. Television was replete with shows putting down men as not as smart or insightful as women. The drone call became baby food for women's "rights". Men who made decisions which were safe and sound were made fun of and worse.
I learned early on that my role in life was to keep people safe and arrive at that by making good decisions. When those decisions were questioned or criticized I let go of those people in my life. Many. I still do that and found a profession where I am paid well for making good decisions. People look up to me and respect me. My decisions and actions are firm open to questioning, and yes, in some cases, absolute. I feel this is a man's normal and healthy role in our society. I compromise, I learn and I grow with others who also have strong opinions.
Yours is an excellent simply insightful precise and healthy. It's nice not being alone.
Best
Brother, the anti-male movement started in the 1960’s with CIA Gloria Steinem.
The 80’s and 90’s was soft psychological conditioning … just preparing the soil for planting. Then the seeds needed time to grow. This was mainly done on a subconscious level, and just as you pointed out, TV and film depicted men as weak, ignorant buffoons, while women were characterized as the strong and intelligent ones … all pretty funny stuff, and quite entertaining….. with an underlying sinister agenda that for the most part still goes unnoticed.
Now, it’s perfectly acceptable to directly attack men, without pretense. And the attacks aren’t just confined to words …. we’ve been under chemical attack all along, also. I promise you … these chemicals which have inundated our food and environment for the past several decades with estrogenic components is no accident or coincidence, but does explain why male fertility is now half of what it used to be just 30 years ago. Estrogen is a testosterone killer, and testosterone is what makes a man a man.
Research the common symptoms of low T, and it will explain a lot.
So the men with the least amount of sexual experience are left to partner with the women with the most sexual experience? If true it doesn't sound like that dynamic would lead to healthy functional relationships to me.
You have to start somewhere. You need practice in meeting people, in dating, in having sex, in being in relationships, to get it right. All relationships fail until the one that doesn't. Some people find the right partner early. Most people meet the right one after a bunch of wrong ones, your fault and theirs.
online pornography also wasnt an issue back then.
why do men want to go out and try to meet women when there is so much trouble that comes with it, when they can just stay at home and watch porn at their leasure?
Because porn doesn't love you back. You don't get the pleasure of giving another person pleasure as well. It's like eating a great meal alone.
I guess we were lucky in that respect. Kids were basically unsupervised when we played sports and games. We organized our own teams and games and became socialized in order to participate. As boys we fought each other. We traded blows, shed blood and then usually made friends with the person we fought. If you were bullied you screwed up your courage and punched the bully in the head. It didn't matter if you won or lost, you had to try.
It became the same with girls. You screwed up your courage and talked to them. Eventually you were able to get a date. You found out where first and second and third base were. You developed skills in picking up girls, in being entertaining to them. You eventually recognized which ones would be receptive to you. It was salesmanship of a sort, just like applying for a job. You put your best self forward and gave them what they wanted. All of life is transactional, even love. You have to give someone what they want to get what you want. It's true for school, for work, for friendships and for love.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sholomar
It is complicated when you never developed personality, game, people skills, or the ability to create good banter, sexual tension, emotionally stimulating comebacks in conversation, as opposed to being able to talk seriously all the time. This is the root cause of most men's problems is not having a good foundation of basic people skills installed by good friendships during adolescence, along with being needy. They also don't have what red pillers call "abundance mentality," which is something that can be biohacked and developed independent of the people skills aspect and playful banter and overall confidence in oneself.
There are a lot of roadblocks the limbic system throws up along the way that make the process quite uncomfortable. Lucky are the boys who developed this thanks to strong friendships and good father figures in youth...they have it comparatively easy. Those personal self help books by authors like Joe Dispensia and videos like "the secret" have the right idea...fake it until you make it through biohacking the limbic system. It takes time and repetition, and theres a delayed emotional payoff, which means it takes time for the limbic system to consistently put out the feel-good chemicals to make the process self sustaining. Many people never reach this point.
It's hard to be playful when you don't feel it, when you don't have those social bonding emotions and chemicals circulating but rather stress response chemicals and emotions like cortisol, anger, bitterness. They tend to create a self sustaining cycle of avoidance if action isn't taken to change them. I've read numerous books to reach where I'm at now and still growing. I consider myself to be in the slow line, but I'm trying to undo years and decades of habits engrained into my brain. The brain likes homeostatis.
Basically you need to treat your limbic system like a child and be your own parent as a man.
It devalues all women involved in that kinda work. It destroys their chance for love and they becomes slaves to a sex industry that doesn't care about them. There are literally millions of other things women could be doing to make money other than prostitution. It should never be legalized. Women should have the right to love and make a living doing pretty much anything other than prostitution. Legalizing prostitution will only turn the government into a prostitution ring and we don't need that. What we need is more jobs, a better economy, law and order and not all the crime Democrats allow to rule America. Our civil rights are determined by our morality. When morality is removed we have no rights at all because there is no law except what the government dictates to us the law is, which will change from one dictator to the next. Simply put, in all things, we definitely do not need the maddening wine of planet progressive.
More puritanical garbage from people who want to legislate morality. Prostitution is going to happen regardless of whether it is legal or decriminalized. The only thing you do by making it illegal is persuaded women that are abused within the sex work industry not to come forward to the authorities.
The system that is currently in place drives much of the industry underground and actually makes it worse for the victims of sex trafficking.
I’m sorry that your moral compass is so fragile that you need to legislate your ideal morality to the public. Some of us have self control not to engage in something just because it is legal. The same thing goes for marijuana legalization. I think it should be legal, but I don’t smoke it.
online pornography also wasnt an issue back then.
why do men want to go out and try to meet women when there is so much trouble that comes with it, when they can just stay at home and watch porn at their leasure?
Because there is much more to life and relationships than sex.
Life is not all rainbows and skittles. Without experiencing some adversity in life we can not grow.
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