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Well, most of Buckeye might not be pretty, but Verrado is lovely, if in a very carefully constructed way. But there are plenty of neighborhoods in the east valley with lots of greenery. Find one, and live in it! For me, having greenery around really takes the edge off the heat--but being able to physically escape it by dipping in a pool every evening (you dry off QUICK) or heading up to the mountains for a daytrip or a weekend can help keep it from feeling mentally oppressive. Your mind needs to have some kind of escape. Like I mentioned before, for me just looking at the water in the pool does something for my psyche.
Pinterest is nice for dreaming....
Do you think you'll buy a house someday in California? A big dream for that area, I know, but looking forward to whatever it is you might be doing once you move back there (or somewhere else you like) is more productive and mentally healthy than obsessing over your "mistake". So start looking at houses, or apartments, or whatever, in the places you think you might like to go. It also has the very practical effect of giving you a sense of the market so that you're well-prepared when you do return, or so that you could start making some financial goals and working toward them, which might make your time in AZ feel more productive and less onerous.
If not fantasy house-hunting, you could be compiling a bucket list of activities you want to do with your family when you get back, and pinning those as well.
When planning future homes or events, I have even let myself buy little tchotchkes, equipment, or decor far in advance, just to make that future event seem real. Not really practical, especially if you don't have much storage, but one does what one must to remain sane, lol.
I don't blame you at all for disliking it, but you really are fortunate that this is temporary. The area does have its pluses, so take advantage of the low cost of living by saving--or by getting the heck out of there a little more often for sanity's sake. I do know, though, about the "mini-crisis" of returning to the place you don't like.
LOTS of people end up permanently or semi-permanently living in places they don't like--or even hate--because of the sorts of commitments and compromises we make as adults. Sometimes it's not something you can see coming and it sort of happens TO you as a result of a series of what seem like reasonable decisions, lol. So consider yourself fortunate that this visit to "hell" is a temporary one, with a very definite end-date. And then, onward & upward!
2 years does seem longer when you're in your twenties. And I remember all of schooling feeling like life deferred. But it's not, really, when you get to look back on it. It's a pretty great part of your life and I'd hate for you to spend it feeling depressed. For many years I've kept the one or two things that I love about where I live at the top of my mind. So even though I might still think or even say, "I hate it here!" I follow up with, "BUT I do love ___________" or "But I would really miss ___________." Again, what one has to do to maintain sanity.
Stay or go back home. You're an adult. Make a choice . Live and deal with any consequences.
I don't want to sound mean but I can't express this any other way without being blunt. It's debatable if the OP is an adult. If she goes "home," she's certainly not. Major signs of adulthood are:
-Being able to delay gratification.
-Disengaging from parents.
-Being able to deal with adversity, make good decisions, and handle pressure.
-Staying on course with plans and taking responsibility for actions.
The OP's cry for help indicates that several of those hallmarks of psychological maturity have not been achieved. This is 24 months we're talking about! Half the length of time it takes most people to get an undergrad degree.
The OP isn't in prison. She isn't even in the Army. She is merely in a temporary place that isn't aesthetically pleasing to her and, I would assume, is causing her some challenges and discomfort. Hardly reasons to flee a task that will be over soon and will provide her with a basis for a constructive future life.
Last edited by Jukesgrrl; 02-18-2016 at 04:19 AM..
Reason: formatting
I don't want to sound mean but I can't express this any other way without being blunt. It's debatable if the OP is an adult. If she goes "home," she's certainly not. Major signs of adulthood are:
-Being able to delay gratification.
-Disengaging from parents.
-Being able to deal with adversity, make good decisions, and handle pressure.
-Staying on course with plans and taking responsibility for actions.
The OP's cry for help indicates that several of those hallmarks of psychological maturity have not been achieved. This is 24 months we're talking about! Half the length of time it takes most people to get an undergrad degree.
The OP isn't in prison. She isn't even in the Army. She is merely in a temporary place that isn't aesthetically pleasing to her and, I would assume, is causing her some challenges and discomfort. Hardly reasons to flee a task that will be over soon and will provide her with a basis for a constructive future life.
I'm working 40 hours a week, getting through a masters degree that requires a 16 hour internship component and moved away, fully independent from my parents at 21. I agree that my post may have sounded pretty whiny and I understand that can be annoying to some readers. Also, I respect and admire those who are in the army tremendously, but that is not my path.I realize I'm not living in deplorable conditions, but I just wanted to vent about feeling homesick and was wondering if people had any advice to share on how they dealt with a period of time in a place that they didn't want to be in. I got some GREAT advice that made me feel a lot better. I definitely feel a lot more at ease with the next two years and this thread helped me so much. It really wasn't my intention to whine, I just missed my parents and felt sad about leaving California. I am VERY close to my parents, but that doesn't mean that i'm not independent from them and it doesn't mean that I don't miss them and my friends terribly....
As opposed to the psychologically mature adulthood required to rag on a stranger on the internet who just wanted to vent and get some advice?
These days, a healthy way to resolve a problem or just "vent" is to go on a message board and receive feedback. You'll get all kinds of opinions, and if you're strong enough to read through the negative ones and "take what you need and leave the rest" all the more power to you.
I think the OP is receiving her feedback in a healthy, adult manner. I'm glad the various opinions seems to have helped.
If you really hate where your life then hop on a train and don't look back.
If you aren't willing to do that right now then it's not as bad as you think.
Just remember, things could always be worse.
You could be homeless and have no where to live.
Very true!!
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