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Some childfree couples have that kind of lifestyle, some don't.
Some people with kids have that kind of lifestyle, some don't.
When someone from either camp uses their child-having status to explain their lifestyle IMHO it's lame.
I'm equally eye-rolling when I see parents foam at the mouth saying, "oh yeah, well who will take care of you when you're sick!?!?" That's an intellectually dishonest response.
In general, folks who don't have children do have more disposable income. Yes, there are folks who have children and who don't have children who are very well off. There are also folks who are struggling to make ends meet who have children and who don't have children.
Your ability to do these things is based more on your income level and how much flexibility you have in your schedule. Let's face it, people who are wealthier go on more vacations and fancy dinners. Many people with children are well off and can do these things quite often. It's not just restricted to people who don't have kids.
When I was 25, I wasn't earning what I earn today. Neither was my husband. We still took a weekend trip to Cape Cod. Now, we go for a week. Most people get weekends off or have 2 days a week off from their jobs. That's when we would do things. My husband and I don't have the same weekend days today. He has Saturday and Sunday and I have Sunday and Monday. So Sundays we go do things as a couple normally. Over the next month, we have activities planned for 3 out of 4 Sundays. We have 2 Mondays planned as he's taking 2 vacation days since he hasn't used any at all this year
If we had children, we wouldn't doing most of the activities we are doing. We wouldn't go tour historical homes several times a year.....kids would be bored to death! We would have to activities that were catered towards children instead. You won't find us at Disney or Legoland or even the Lago store in the mall.
The childfree people who brag (lie?) about this kind of stuff are almost as annoying (insecure?) as parents that would make rude comments to non-parents.
It's not bragging, it's a choice to be free from the burden that comes with having children....just like people with children chose to breed and enjoy all that comes with it. If they're happy, then I'm happy that they're fortunate enough to pursue happiness in their own way.
From my perspective, many people with kids look unhappy and stressed....always frowning...no thanks...My message to the OP: Enjoy your freedom.
In general, folks who don't have children do have more disposable income. Yes, there are folks who have children and who don't have children who are very well off. There are also folks who are struggling to make ends meet who have children and who don't have children.
Hmmm, not sure... https://www.cnsnews.com/commentary/t...average-107054
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Yeah maybe that doesn't equate to DISPOSABLE income, but it certainly clouds the discussion. My facetious/hypothetical question would be "why aren't you child-free couples working harder to make more $$?"
Let me try this again: Think of the money saved that could be used to pay for future care that we'd need. Kids can be a pain the the butt and they interfere with life. For some of us, having them is a bad investment.
I believe that my ancestors had lots of kids for several reasons:
1. They were farmers and needed help to harvest.
2. They had no TV and had plenty of time to breed.
My great grandparents were farmers. My grandfather had 11 siblings because they needed the kids to help with the farm and what else did the parents have to do once it was dark out and the kids were asleep?
My great grandparents were farmers. My grandfather had 11 siblings because they needed the kids to help with the farm and what else did the parents have to do once it was dark out and the kids were asleep?
When I was 25, I wasn't earning what I earn today. Neither was my husband. We still took a weekend trip to Cape Cod. Now, we go for a week. Most people get weekends off or have 2 days a week off from their jobs. That's when we would do things. My husband and I don't have the same weekend days today. He has Saturday and Sunday and I have Sunday and Monday. So Sundays we go do things as a couple normally. Over the next month, we have activities planned for 3 out of 4 Sundays. We have 2 Mondays planned as he's taking 2 vacation days since he hasn't used any at all this year
If we had children, we wouldn't doing most of the activities we are doing. We wouldn't go tour historical homes several times a year.....kids would be bored to death! We would have to activities that were catered towards children instead. You won't find us at Disney or Legoland or even the Lago store in the mall.
All due respect, and I really am not trying to pick a fight or judge you specifically, but what you listed would be pretty average in my world where most of my friends are parents. Nothing about it would immediately check the "parents need not apply" box.
Let me try this again: Think of the money saved that could be used to pay for future care that we'd need. Kids can be a pain the the butt and they interfere with life. For some of us, having them is a bad investment.
I believe that my ancestors had lots of kids for several reasons:
1. They were farmers and needed help to harvest.
2. They had no TV and had plenty of time to breed.
Also, what's more selfish than expecting your children to care for you because you've not been provident? As one who has two disabled parents living in my house, I can tell you that caring for them is a burden that I'd never put on children.
Maybe they should have been child-free. The irony is savage
Though I’m happily child-free, I most definitely feel isolated. For the OP’s purposes, the real question is whether he and his wife are receptive to the idea of having children eventually – though just not yet; or, if they’ve come to regard themselves as being child-free in the proper sense. If the former, it might be possible to brush off criticism and to blunt prying intrusions, simply by saying that life’s been uncertain, and such a momentous step requires proper preparation. The psychological issue at hand, perhaps, is the feeling of being the laggard, the one who’s behind and who needs to accelerate the pace. While unnerving, it’s no particular cause for long-term worry, or reason to feel somehow segregated from one’s family or peers.
If the latter, matters are decidedly more difficult, as one has to overcome tremendous cultural barriers. Not only are the child-free a small and isolated minority, but we bear an opprobrium shared by few “unorthodox” groups today. The only sister group that comes to mind is atheists. This is twice a burden. First, because one’s views will be challenged and vilified. Second, because most adults interact with other adults via activities related to their children. Persons without children are therefore cut off from the most basic social opportunities, even if their counterparts offer no criticism or overt disinclination to interact. Neighbors don’t so much know their fellow neighbors, as parents of kids in the same youth soccer league know each other.
There really is no good solution to this, save for moving to a less conservative town.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez
When I was a young dad I went to many social functions, uusually without the kids and although my wife shared photos of the kids with other moms, the dads never discussed children. ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by chris410
I think times have changed, it seems like the dads being so involved in the kids now it has consumed their lives like it has with the mothers. ...
These are important points. While gender-equality is to be extolled as an unqualified improvement, it's also meant much greater parental responsibilities for fathers. That by itself is no particular detriment, but what is detrimental is the effect on the social-lives of child-free men, who've lost connection with their male counterparts.
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