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Sure, keep making it something to which women have to adjust instead of dealing with male violence. Women have died “just” from being gang raped.
Well, women and men together for just as women are raped, so are men. Just as women are hurt being raped, so can men be through rape or by raping those that are theirs.
So why does it hurt us so much if it does not kill us? Why is the pain more than just a gang beating the thanksgiving turkey out of us? Why are we so programmed to let this kind of assault touch us to our core?
Why can't we disable the chilling effect when it is called out "We won't hurt you......much.".
It is a weapon of the opposing side and as long as there are people, it will continue to be used. So why can't we take some of the bite out of it?
Well, women and men together for just as women are raped, so are men. Just as women are hurt being raped, so can men be through rape or by raping those that are theirs.
So why does it hurt us so much if it does not kill us? Why is the pain more than just a gang beating the thanksgiving turkey out of us? Why are we so programmed to let this kind of assault touch us to our core?
Why can't we disable the chilling effect when it is called out "We won't hurt you......much.".
It is a weapon of the opposing side and as long as there are people, it will continue to be used. So why can't we take some of the bite out of it?
I take it you have never been raped, but women everywhere, unless killed, do go on. Women aren ‘t property, so they aren’t “theirs.”
Not all men are rapists, so men are apparently educable. How did these learn. Again, why do men so strongly refuse to even contemplate dealing with male violence. Even when a few men are also raped.
I take it you have never been raped, but women everywhere, unless killed, do go on. Women aren ‘t property, so they aren’t “theirs.”
Not all men are rapists, so men are apparently educable. How did these learn. Again, why do men so strongly refuse to even contemplate dealing with male violence. Even when a few men are also raped.
You take it wrong.
As far as the rest of it goes, well, I am looking at things overall, not directly.
Regardless of whether or not we say women are property, it is still a way to hurt a man by raping those women he is associated with. That is historical fact.
Some people can be educated but I doubt that people on a whole can be taught not to use violence as a weapon as a means to obtain things, to get things done.
Purehuman it's because the point has been repeated over, and over, and over. And it's like people do not want to get it. You keep returning to, "Yes but stay off the street at night and wear modest clothing! How is it wrong for me to want you to be safe?" THOSE PIECES OF ADVICE DO LITTLE, or NOTHING TO ACTUALLY KEEP ANYONE SAFE FROM RAPE. Most rapes are committed by people one knows and trusts. Not scary strangers in the night. Not drunk randos you go home with from the bar. Friends, step-parents, foster or adoptive parents, people you've been dating a while, people in positions of institutional authority such as medical, police, and school professionals. Most sexual assaults aren't because some silly dame was flaunting the goods and being careless. Most women DO know better. And on the relatively rare occasions that we don't...one does tend to learn from it, without "advice" from more "sensible" folk being necessary in any way. Giving that "advice" in the first place for supposed prevention doesn't work. The woman who takes risks isn't going to say, "Gee...I think it would be really fun to go drinking in my miniskirt tonight, but I read on a forum I might get sexually assaulted, so I'm gonna stay home and knit instead." She feels brave and invincible and she does what she does and if a bad outcome happens, then she either gets over it or she (more likely) agonizes over why it happened. Or some combination of both.
So "what's wrong with giving women good advice with the good intention of wanting them to be safe" is that it serves no purpose at all, except for making actual victims feel a deeper sense of...no, not "responsibility"...but shame and misery and self-loathing for what happened to them.
Look, I personally don't feel safe consuming alcohol. Everything from scary drunk male relatives, to women I know for whom alcohol was a factor in a sexual assault they suffered, I don't like booze and I don't want to be around drunk people as a general rule. I am simply not comfortable with it. I could tell story after story of why. And yet I know women who enjoy alcohol, and me telling all the stories in the world is not going to change their minds, nor do I have any right to tell them how to live. And I most definitely would not tell any of my female coworkers, friends or acquaintances, "Well, I never drink. I know women who have been raped when they got drunk. So that's why you shouldn't drink, and if you get raped, you should take responsibility because you shouldn't have drunk alcohol, consider this your warning." It sounds so...revoltingly smug. Like an "I told you so, and don't expect any sympathy from me!" And the worst of all, which I have said and said here, is that this whole "If only you're sensible you'll keep yourself safe" talk actually OFTEN interferes with rape victims getting any kind of justice, and it causes rape trials to be brutal to victims to the point where the crime is very often not reported at all. Because what is the point? To have the world explain to you why it's your own "responsibility" (FAULT) and to be torn apart in public and to have to look into the smirking face of the person who raped you knowing he's going to walk free? These attitudes have a very real effect on how our society and criminal justice system handles rape cases.
THAT is what's wrong with you "just wanting women to be safe" and pressing that end of the argument.
And I've reached the point of repetition, which means that either ya get it or you stubbornly refuse to get it. Any further baits will be left where they lie. Good day.
Purehuman it's because the point has been repeated over, and over, and over. And it's like people do not want to get it. Not drunk randos you go home with from the bar. F Most sexual assaults aren't because some silly dame was flaunting the goods and being careless. .
What's to get??
I'm responding to the OP where the woman DID get drunk, and DID go alone with a STRANGER to his home....and guess what?..she probably wasn't wearing a miniskirt either.
I'm responding to the question of "shouldn't women take responsibility in CERTAIN assault situations".
This woman ( I'm not talking little girls here) WAS "flaunting the goods and being careless" as you say....a decent man would not have raped her....but how was she to know that???? She trusted her well being to that stranger and her trust was betrayed. That can happen when you don't know someone from a hole in the ground.....and if you refuse to acknowledge that...so be it.
Bye the way.....I would NEVER say to a woman "I told you so".
Last edited by purehuman; 11-02-2017 at 07:50 AM..
Yeah but NO ONE is telling ANY woman anywhere ever, that she has any right to get drunk and go home with a stranger and expect to be perfectly safe.
.
REALLY?????
So what would you say to a woman who DOES want to get drunk and go home with a stranger....as the OP said happened in their first post....the post that I refer to in my opinions
Would you caution her????....or not!
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