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In this case, though, the young women suffers from depression that she needs medication for, is not driven to even clean or cook or much of anything. She's just freeloading.
And hey, a lot of relationships the man is the breadwinner. There is nothing wrong with that. But the OP is complaining about it. He is upset that she isn't looking for a job, wants him to buy her more things.............
Yes, it seems he now wants to change the terms of the relationship. Most men and women are not golddiggers, but he got this woman by buying her things such as car, phone, tuition and providing food and housing. The old saying that you get what you pay for is true.
When someone bases a relationship on money, he will get what he pays for, only what he pays for, and only as long as he keeps paying.
Here at CD, there's a prevalence of age-related topics focused mainly on women. Constantly reminding us that simply because we are older we are no longer attractive, our bodies should be covered, our hair color should be "natural"... I can go on and on... and people wonder why some ladies are a bit crabby or even jealous when they see an older guy with a younger woman? Women aren't really allowed to grow old gracefully. They're picked apart at every turn if they did. I didn't realize that until I myself became an "older woman". You're a matron now, not a vixen. It's sad, really. I don't have any hostility towards younger women or such pairings - after all I had my share of age gap relationships - BUT let's think about the "other side" here as well.
Yes...this bothers me and I'm nowhere near my 40s.
I don't understand why some keep reciting this as gospel even if it is in the vicinity of being true, what will constantly badgering us about it accomplish? Why try to make us feel bad about something we can't control? Aging is already not fun enough, why make it harder on our psyche? It irks me even more when the ones who constantly talk about it try to disguise their contempt for older women by saying, "I'm just being honest." Okay we get it.
Yes...this bothers me and I'm nowhere near my 40s.
I don't understand why some keep reciting this as gospel even if it is in the vicinity of being true, what will constantly badgering us about it accomplish? Why try to make us feel bad about something we can't control? Aging is already not fun enough, why make it harder on our psyche? It irks me even more when the ones who constantly talk about it try to disguise their contempt for older women by saying, "I'm just being honest." Okay we get it.
This is what I wonder too and why I feel like it's less "oh, I'm just being honest" and more "I've been rejected SO often but here's a group I can get back at even though they didn't do anything to me...take that!"
I mean this idea is just shoved down our faces around here, LOL. It's like, every third post. From a guy. Then it's this shocked giant-eyes mouth-in-an-O "But whyyyyyyyyyyyy are women upset about this? Jealous jealous jealous!" Um? LOL. Because after the nine thousandth time we are sick of seeing it and talk back, LOL. Then some of us get trigger-happy I guess and just automatically go "OMG shut UP!" as soon as we see it!
It really is (or seems to be) a case of some fabrication and fantasy that's pushed and pushed until there's finally a reaction. Then, "ZOMG, I am just so shocked...look at these women acting up. Oh, how funny and wonderful and stimulating that they apparently feel terrible! Oh, you know...just keepin' it real."
Um. You wonder how people got to this point. And then you just have to feel bad for whatever that was.
But not bad enough to put up with it.
I mean if we all wanted some Psychology...there it is. Wanted the real deal? There it is too. Like what you like, it's all good but if what you like has to involve hoping you make someone else feel terrible and ugly, then you should definitely be doing a little looking inward...the problem isn't "older" women, "younger" women...it's you. 'Cause dude, that just ain't normal.
Men are just hitting their "stride" at about 30-35, but that same age is critical for women who want a family.
Women younger than that can look to men in their 30's as mature and stable (and we are, and should be) and the smart girls snag these guys up to have children with. Our careers are kicking into overdrive right about now, we're buying up our first or even second homes and our social circle is getting to be awesome again.
Meanwhile all the women who delayed family formation well into their 30's are kicking themselves as men their own age don't even want them anymore. Oh well....should've made better choices. You're aging....rapidly....you used to be a '9' in your 20's and could take home who you wanted, but now you're a '7' and next year you'll be a '6'....better hurry up.....settle down with what you can get!
Not only that but your selection pool of decent men your own age is drying up just as rapidly as you are drying up, the younger guys aren't interested and the older guys are already having kids with younger women who were smart enough to see the inevitable.
Remember that really awesome nice guy who was "only an '8'" that you dumped in your mid 20's because you were holding out for a "10" that did a pump-n-dump on you anyway? Oh well, screwing around with the losers and jocks and criminal bad boys in high school and college was fun for you ladies I guess, but now you ladies are old and sad and depressed as we awesome men in our early 30's are getting the last laugh (I tripled my partner count in the last 2 years and have had age differences as low as 11 and 9 years my younger!!!) MWAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
Men are just hitting their "stride" at about 30-35, but that same age is critical for women who want a family.
Women younger than that can look to men in their 30's as mature and stable (and we are, and should be) and the smart girls snag these guys up to have children with.
Meanwhile all the women who delayed family formation well into their 30's are kicking themselves as men their own age don't even want them anymore. Oh well....should've made better choices.
Remember that really awesome nice guy who was "only an '8'" that you dumped in your mid 20's because you were holding out for a "10" that did a pump-n-dump on you anyway? Oh well, screwing around with the losers and jocks and criminal bad boys in high school and college was fun for you ladies I guess, but now you ladies are sad and depressed as we awesome men in our early 30's are getting the last laugh (I tripled my partner count in the last 2 years and have had age differences as low as 11 and 9 years my younger!!!) MWAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
And there you have it, folks.
"Just keepin' it real" my butt.
It's revenge for a lifetime of rejection.
I am sorry you have had such bad experiences. But I do thank you for losing control so thoroughly that at least we all have the obvious answer now, sorry dudes, no more covering this up.
I find this all really sad.
p.s. For a split-second here I thought I accidentally stumbled upon the animals with mental disorders thread.
Men are just hitting their "stride" at about 30-35, but that same age is critical for women who want a family.
This may or may not be (?) but the average man is still getting married for the first time by age 29, to a woman just two years his junior - pretty much an insignificant age difference. You know. Equals. (Yep.)
Apparently most men hit their stride much earlier than you believe, as if they're married by 29, what about finding and meeting the woman and their courtship? That brings the age down lower as far as getting serious and planning a future.
I am sorry you have had such bad experiences. But I do thank you for losing control so thoroughly that at least we all have the obvious answer now, sorry dudes, no more covering this up.
I find this all really sad.
p.s. For a split-second here I thought I accidentally stumbled upon the animals with mental disorders thread.
Hey, no problem, you're right about that revenge part, but you say it like it's a bad thing. High school sucked, we can admit that. I was married from 20-27 though. Nice girl and I'll miss her, but it just didn't work out. My late 20's were mediocre, but I was starting to get into my stride.
But I gotta say, my 30's have been GREAT!!!!
It's also incredible fun to have a few lays with all the single moms floating around out there and then eventually just stop returning their calls. I'm not going to be the sucker to provide resources for someone else's children (though I'll have sympathy for widows). It's funny to hear that last bout of desperate and angry name calling, but really what can they expect? That I'd stick around? Sure 15 years ago I gladly would have. Too late.
Having the upper hand now is great after a decade and a half of not having it. Enjoy all that feminist indoctrination while you're childless, broke, and sad and without a husband who actually gives a damn.
We truly cared while we were young. We had hearts, dreams and ideals, but then we saw how the game was playing out. So much for chivalry, honor, integrity, and devotion. You know who killed chivalry?...women did. Do you understand now why there are so few good men anymore?
First off, to the OP, since this is a psychology forum, have you ever considered maybe you are just projecting your own disapproval and insecurity of your girlfriend on others? After all you said yourself you think she's a gold digger and using you for money. Most people don't care about the love life of a complete stranger.
No one cares about me and my boyfriend. Lol sometimes people think my boyfriend is my father (which is weird to me since he's not even 10 years older). We never get dirty or disapproving looks. The older woman who should hate me the most, his ex wife, actually likes me and is very kind and supportive (although my boyfriend suspects she likes me because I "erase" the guilt of her leaving him).
Or, if it isn't you projecting, maybe it's the way you act in public. If you are big into PDAs people are going to give you looks because people expect more maturity from an older man. I probably look funny at people over doing the affection in public (I am not angry at them, just curious if it's a matter of insecurity or immaturity or if they really are that crazy in love... or just crazy, lol).
Now to answer this.
Quote:
Men are just hitting their "stride" at about 30-35, but that same age is critical for women who want a family.
Women younger than that can look to men in their 30's as mature and stable (and we are, and should be) and the smart girls snag these guys up to have children with. Our careers are kicking into overdrive right about now, we're buying up our first or even second homes and our social circle is getting to be awesome again.
Meanwhile all the women who delayed family formation well into their 30's are kicking themselves as men their own age don't even want them anymore. Oh well....should've made better choices. You're aging....rapidly....you used to be a '9' in your 20's and could take home who you wanted, but now you're a '7' and next year you'll be a '6'....better hurry up.....settle down with what you can get!
Not only that but your selection pool of decent men your own age is drying up just as rapidly as you are drying up, the younger guys aren't interested and the older guys are already having kids with younger women who were smart enough to see the inevitable.
Remember that really awesome nice guy who was "only an '8'" that you dumped in your mid 20's because you were holding out for a "10" that did a pump-n-dump on you anyway? Oh well, screwing around with the losers and jocks and criminal bad boys in high school and college was fun for you ladies I guess, but now you ladies are old and sad and depressed as we awesome men in our early 30's are getting the last laugh (I tripled my partner count in the last 2 years and have had age differences as low as 11 and 9 years my younger!!!) MWAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
You seem like a very upset person. You aren't thinking logically. First you say that it's when men hit their 30s that they are secure and worth settling down with (before that they are not mature and stable according to what you say). But then you berate the women of your youth for rejecting you in your 20s, when, by your own standards, this wasn't when you were your best.
Most people date and marry within + or - 5 years of each other's age, at least in the US. It's a fact. Look it up on the US Census website. I am a bit of an anomaly dating an older men. But me dating him has nothing to do with older men being better (there are plenty of older men who are immature and unstable and not worth dating) and him dating me has nothing to do with younger women being better (there are plenty of women my senior who are beautiful and vibrant and attractive). We are both individuals and we happen to be good for each other. Age isn't a factor in our relationship, it's more of a "despite the age difference we work."
This may or may not be (?) but the average man is still getting married for the first time by age 29, to a woman just two years his junior - pretty much an insignificant age difference. You know. Equals. (Yep.)
Apparently most men hit their stride much earlier than you believe, as if they're married by 29, what about finding and meeting the woman and their courtship? That brings the age down lower as far as getting serious and planning a future.
Your numbers aren't correct.
That's the average age of marriage.
Plenty of people just not getting married.
And fewer and fewer men don't want to get married. Why pay for all that when there's plenty out there for free?
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You wonder how people got to this point. And then you just have to feel bad for whatever that was.
Wanted the real deal? There it is too. 
