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I did not say I was baggage free nor is a 35 yo necessarily either. Aging effects everyone of course but having a younger woman by your side does soften its effects a bit. But I have met a lot of women 50+ over the years who are single and most have a lot of stuff from their past to process. I don't and its easier to find a compatible woman younger than myself and I am more attracted to younger women. I keep myself in shape and I am financially secure so I can pull it off.
This is just my experience and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I do get this impression from you that myself dating younger women annoys you. Same impression I get in person from women from time to time.
the reason that you can pull it off is because you are in shape and have some means. Let's not kid ourselves middle aged guys - unless you are well off or are very attractive, you're not going to have younger women beating down your door either. Many of the middle aged men I see have dad bods and are pretty non-descript. If anything, the middle aged woman looking for a compatible mate who isn't overweight and carrying divorce/kid baggage will have a rough time.
the reason that you can pull it off is because you are in shape and have some means. Let's not kid ourselves middle aged guys - unless you are well off or are very attractive, you're not going to have younger women beating down your door either. Many of the middle aged men I see have dad bods and are pretty non-descript. If anything, the middle aged woman looking for a compatible mate who isn't overweight and carrying divorce/kid baggage will have a rough time.
Out of college I managed a dating service for a while in S. California. We took over a defunct competitor and got all the members and tried to sign them up for our service. The women in the other service that were over 50 pretty much got zero responses from men members. I felt bad for them.
As far as myself my attitude is you have to make yourself marketable in the dating market. I can't change how old I am but you try to mitigate it as much as possible. You also have to work on your personality and not be afraid to talk to women. Lots of guys are bad at that. The older you get the more personality makes a big difference, whether its 35 or 55 year olds.
Out of college I managed a dating service for a while in S. California. We took over a defunct competitor and got all the members and tried to sign them up for our service. The women in the other service that were over 50 pretty much got zero responses from men members. I felt bad for them.
As far as myself my attitude is you have to make yourself marketable in the dating market. I can't change how old I am but you try to mitigate it as much as possible. You also have to work on your personality and not be afraid to talk to women. Lots of guys are bad at that. The older you get the more personality makes a big difference, whether its 35 or 55 year olds.
When you were out of college, like 25 years ago (I'm guessing from your posts)? A LOT has changed since then. Women are considered sexy way beyond where we generally used to be in the past...it's actually kind of a "thing" now.
It is a whole new world.
And let us not even get into the younger guys approaching thing...holy guacamole. That's a "thing" now too...
Yeah. Not so much the same thing as 25, 30 years ago.
Out of college I managed a dating service for a while in S. California. We took over a defunct competitor and got all the members and tried to sign them up for our service. The women in the other service that were over 50 pretty much got zero responses from men members. I felt bad for them.
As far as myself my attitude is you have to make yourself marketable in the dating market. I can't change how old I am but you try to mitigate it as much as possible. You also have to work on your personality and not be afraid to talk to women. Lots of guys are bad at that. The older you get the more personality makes a big difference, whether its 35 or 55 year olds.
I've never seen a women under 35 with an older guy who was not wealthy.
Just saying. Take away your wallet and see how well you do with younger women. Maybe you are the exception, but there's no way for me to tell.
My late husband was almost exactly 20 years older. He was not rich, barely middle class. We were married 26 years until his death. We had a lot in common despite the age difference and he exuded a sensualness that no man I have ever been with has ever done.
That being said I would never recommend marrying a person much, much older. When you are 25 and they are 45 it's not that big of a deal, however when you are 50 and they are 70, it does become a much bigger deal.
I've never seen a women under 35 with an older guy who was not wealthy.
Just saying. Take away your wallet and see how well you do with younger women. Maybe you are the exception, but there's no way for me to tell.
Wealthy is a relative term though. Some hot young 22 year old thing from a trailer park might think a middle aged mid level professional guy is wealthy, and a considerable step up for her financially. Or heck any guy with a stable job for that matter. I did date a woman from a more humble background when I was younger who was extremely impressed just by the fact that I had the same job for a few years, my own car and my own apartment. How much that job paid and how fancy the car and apartment were didn't seem to matter. There was only about a 5 year age gap in that case though, if that.
Wealthy is a relative term though. Some hot young 22 year old thing from a trailer park might think a middle aged mid level professional guy is wealthy, and a considerable step up for her financially. Or heck any guy with a stable job for that matter. I did date a woman from a more humble background when I was younger who was extremely impressed just by the fact that I had the same job for a few years, my own car and my own apartment. How much that job paid and how fancy the car and apartment were didn't seem to matter. There was only about a 5 year age gap in that case though, if that.
As you know from my topic I am dating a younger woman, and got a lot of negative reactions, I have also gotten some in real life, though I have noticed a pattern with it being women around my age group; 40 and up mostly. I can only guess it's the same for on here. Does it really bother you? Surely there are plenty men in your age group so why the negativity?
I'm 59 years old and... I'm not hating on you, but then again my husband is 23 years my junior... which makes him younger than you are!!!
But perhaps the single women your age might be frustrated that they are having problems finding a man their own age to date, and you left their dating pool to fish in a much younger pond. But I think that by our age, we view every man/dating situation as unique and on a case by case basis.
For example, by your logic, all single heterosexual women should be hating on all gay males for not being straight. However, I have only know a couple of gay men that I was sad that they weren't straight. For the most part, any gay man that I've met were ones that I wouldn't have wanted to date anyway.
So just be happy, but when in the company of women your age and older, NEVER make any comments about how young and beautiful your girlfriend is. And you should also mention why else you make a good couple, like any shared interests. Don't make yourself seem shallow by dating her only for her physical attractions... because that will make you seem very shallow.
When people find out how much younger my husband is than me, they always first respond by calling me a cougar. I'll laugh, but then explain that we share an intense love for cars and motorsports, I drive stickshift, he loves how intellectual I am, and that I am a tomboy. And neither of us wanted children in our lives. I am also not attached to a smartphone and social media. So aside from our age gap, we are the perfect couple.
Out of college I managed a dating service for a while in S. California. We took over a defunct competitor and got all the members and tried to sign them up for our service. The women in the other service that were over 50 pretty much got zero responses from men members. I felt bad for them.
As far as myself my attitude is you have to make yourself marketable in the dating market. I can't change how old I am but you try to mitigate it as much as possible. You also have to work on your personality and not be afraid to talk to women. Lots of guys are bad at that. The older you get the more personality makes a big difference, whether its 35 or 55 year olds.
Honestly, older women don't need pity. We need some consideration and understanding. As you well know, we all get older if we're lucky. I was born in 1975...I always though middle age was far down road, but here I am. I just get older, that's the way it goes. As I stated upthread, if there's annoyance, it's because of all the negatives being associated with being an older woman - we're saddled with baggage, we're this, we're that... We're not supposed to be overtly sexual because then we'll be mocked as "trying too hard" and "inappropriate", yet we're also mocked for not being sexual enough when comparison to younger women. We should be minimalist and natural. All things young(er) are good, and all things old(er) are bad. That's what I find troubling, not age gap pairings.
As you yourself said, people can't change how old they are. You deal with the hand that you're dealt and yes, mitigate it as much as you can. I don't need a younger man to help mitigate aging. A middle aged man, many of whom are portly and haven't aged all that well either, isn't a prize by any stretch but what's an older woman to do if she wants to be with someone who is closer to her own age, for reasons that many have expressed? Older women are accepting of age's reality when it comes to their middle aged male counterparts, so why not the other way around?
One thing I like about weightlifting is that I feel like I'm turning back the clock. I'm far stronger than previous versions of myself. My mojo is awesome now in my 40s than before. If my marriage fails/husband passes, I'm not worried about my success in the dating pool at all. And even if I were to have trouble, I'd be like my almost 70 year old mom, I'd be single and loving it and have close friends as companions. Incidentally, most of my baggage relationship wise happened in my 20s. I had PLENTY of "relationships" before I married at 27.
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