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To a great extent, I agree with you. But, didn't you say you're around 40? A guy 10 years younger than you is 30. Many, perhaps most 30 year-old-guys, as we're reminded every day online, are still VERY immature (never mind guys in their early to mid 20s). Give those same guys another 10 or 12 years, and most of them will be a whole lot better. In other words, give yourself another 10 years -- there's a good chance you'll feel differently about somewhat younger guys. My own preference is for men up to about 8 years older or younger.
Having said that, I also agree that a 20-year difference usually creates too much of a chasm in terms of long term romantic relationships. I'm in a completely different place than a 71-year-old man, and he'd be in an entirely different place than I. It can happily work in some instances, but it depends entirely on the woman and the man involved.
yes, I am 41. I get hit on by 25-35 year olds quite a lot. I was always into slightly older but (no offense) most guys I meet who are 45 and above, they have "issues" or haven't taken care of themselves (ever) and it starts to show. Most ok guys over 40 want much younger women, so my dating pool is very restricted.
So I had a couple of dates with 30-35 year olds and HELL NO. I couldn't even get myself to start anything sexual only. I dont want to sound dramatic, but it just felt wrong and we just didn't have much to talk about other than very current stuff. There isn't much common ground, because we grew up in a different era, he doesn't even know you can get lost because he never not had a navigation system or a cell phone.
Not entirely true. I have gotten scowls from women on several occasions when dating a much younger, attractive women who actually looked younger than her real age. The age difference was almost 19 years. I was 48, and she was 30 when we started dating. Also, when we were out, they would also treat her poorly due to pure jealousy. It did not happen often, but often enough.
I am in a similar situation and I would say this. Married women in my age range don't seem to care whereas single women in my age group are sometimes put off by it. You get stares or a condescending tone towards my woman.
Middle age and above single and divorced women have hard time finding a man in their age group unless they are wealthy or very attractive.
So does this also apply to women who turn down men for their physical characteristics or is that different?
We aren't talking about physical characteristics per se, we are talking about age.
But no, its not different. Happens far less frequently though. Less frequently enough to make no real comparison. There are far more good looking women than men. More 8 women with 5 men. And far more women with older men. Part of that is simple demographics. More women than men in the world. Fewer still if you weed out the controlling ones, the lazy ones, the ones that think women are supposed to do all the housework and children rearing while putting up with their a*******y.
Because they think it will make their ex wife jealous? The joke is always on them in the end.
Yeah, I've seen this too, at least on forums (I am just not seeing these dramatic age differences IRL much, to be honest.). "See? Seeee what I can get? See what you missed out on? Neener neener, look at me go!" Then 10 years later, 45 or 50 or 60 with a demanding whiny toddler, and a demanding very young wife and retirement dreams having morphed into a distant fantasy... I mean...you do this you need to be READY to do it, for the right reasons, IMO. Revenge won't sustain you when real life kicks in, and it does, for all of us no matter our situation. It will kick in here, too. That's just how life goes.
I'm not jealous of a guy starting all over at maybe 45 or 50 just beginning to have infants, crying all night infants and then illogical, loud toddlers, juggling a young wife who deserves a house like her friends have, trying to keep up physically under the weight of your age plus the added stress...and I sure don't envy it from the "younger woman's" perspective, either. I have never, ever been jealous of a very young woman who wound up with a guy her dad's age. I wasn't jealous when I was 20, or when I was 30 or 40 or now. I would not want to be that woman. That's just me. And I wouldn't want that guy, so...jealousy...if there's anything ugly going on here, who knows, maybe there is, but for most of us women that's not it. We don't want to trade places with that girl and we didn't want to be her when she was 20.
Yeah, I get it, people here are the exception, every single guy who is 60 actually has people thinking he's 30, ED...what's that, wife is so mature, age is just a number, blah, blah, duly noted. But also duly noted is reality. Real life. The average guy ISN'T superman and sure doesn't continue superman status as he ages.I don't care how many lbs. you can squat. Old happens. So I can't envy any of that, from either side.
BUT if the two actually are happy then they should be happy! If it's all good and not some dumb trophy thing, and everybody can wind up happy, the do it. Go be with that younger awesome woman. Enjoy her, what the hell are you doing wasting time on CD detailing your hair, clothing and the approximate "years younger" the entire world is definitely convinced you are? Some questions may ever remain a mystery here on CD.
I am in a similar situation and I would say this. Married women in my age range don't seem to care whereas single women in my age group are sometimes put off by it. You get stares or a condescending tone towards my woman.
Middle age and above single and divorced women have hard time finding a man in their age group unless they are wealthy or very attractive.
This is true.
However, I would not stare at a young woman with a much older man. I don't even think she "took" a man I could have been dating. I would be thinking he either has money or she has an daddy complex. Neither makes me jealous.
I just would not want to date a man who is generally into much younger (10+ years). Because it usually means he is too immature for me and he cannot handle a woman his own age. That's my personal observation.
I am in a similar situation and I would say this. Married women in my age range don't seem to care whereas single women in my age group are sometimes put off by it. You get stares or a condescending tone towards my woman.
Middle age and above single and divorced women have hard time finding a man in their age group unless they are wealthy or very attractive.
Nah. Not from what I've seen. Not at all.
AFAIK people marry within 7 years of their own age overwhelmingly no matter what the age group.
I would need to look that up to confirm it but anybody here who is curious can Google it too.
And it is more men than women who are anxious to get remarried after a divorce. Statistically. They remarry faster and remarry in higher numbers, which may partially account for guys broadening age and all other categories, since there are only so many women after all, and if indeed it is the youngest women who are being bombarded then those middle-age guys have far more competition there than with a woman closer to their own age and life stage, experience, having had kids or not by now, and so on.
For real life situations, I haven't really known any "middle-aged" divorced women who had a problem getting dates after the divorce, certainly no more so than younger people did, and within their age ranges, probably because it IS at that age range that so many are divorcing and I am sorry but a HUGE number of divorced middle-aged men actually don't want a young girl who is constantly going to be asking Daddy for gifts and who brings with her giant competition for the man in the form of boys her age who look gorgeous and can go all night (in all ways, not just...you know...I mean in general) and are on her page in all ways.
Sure they saw on OLD all the geezers demanding younger women in their profiles, but those guys frequently got nowhere and eventually changed their parameters. But even if they didn't I just don't see that women say 35 and up from the women that I've known, had a huge problem having boyfriends their age. (Sometimes younger. What IS the deal with way younger men approaching women nowadays? It's huge! But overall mostly the women didn't really want much younger guys, either, they wanted something rather equal and got it.)
Date whoever makes you happy. Funny though when I dated a younger man awhile back, I had many negative reactions from men as well. Cougar, robbing the cradle, etc. and one even said can't you find any men your own age. So it works both ways, whatever the reason, jealousy, insecurity, or could be even someone may have feelings for you and you don't know it (I learned later one of them did).
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My own preference is for men up to about 8 years older or younger.
That's just me. And I wouldn't want that guy, so...jealousy...if there's anything ugly going on here, who knows, maybe there is, but for most of us women that's not it. We don't want to trade places with that girl and we didn't want to be her when she was 20.
