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As a woman about to turn 40 in a few years I don't really give this issue that much thought. To each their own. Some men specifically date younger women because they want to eventually start a family, they're more fertile and that makes total sense to me. It doesn't affect me because the men I date aren't looking to start families. I wouldn't want someone who seriously dates women more than a few years younger than them. For a cheap fling? I'd say high-fives bro. But a real relationship? That's where I draw the line and will reject the guy in most cases. Because they are looking for a different type of relationship than I am really.
There are women in every age category that are attractive. I myself don't play the comparison game, I'm too busy focusing on myself to have the time to. There are plenty of twenty something girls these days that are complete slobs, dressed terribly, obese, full of tattoos. Some are gorgeous. Same for thirty and forty, fifty+ somethings.
There will always be men out there who treat women like cars, looking for a "new model". Women have been aware of this pretty much since the beginning of time. Takes all kinds. Me personally, if a man is going to treat me like that I don't want him. I speak from experience. As you get older, most people want something of substance that goes beyond the physical, or is based primarily on the physical. Mature adults, anyhow. What anyone does with their life is their business as long as it doesn't interfere with mine. If anything, with time comes wisdom and the jerks naturally weed themselves out.
I'm sure some older women don't like it out of jealousy, but definitely not all. For me, I am 43, and I don't feel competitive with young women. I am not in the dating pool and being attractive to the opposite sex fell way down on my priority list many years ago as I matured.
I have embraced my role as professional, mentor, and mom. I see my own daughter in young women and feel very protective toward them. These May/December romances generally end up very badly for the young women. I hate to see young women waste their youth on a older man. Not that older men are less valuable, but the older man has been able to experience life fully and the younger partner won't be able to do so with an older partner. They should be growing together with their potential mate and experiencing life on equal footing with their partner. These romances are all cool when the woman in 20 and the man is 50, but not so cool when the woman is 40 and the man is 70. Just a whole lot of life these young women are missing out on.
And yes, I do feel the same way about older women being with younger men. Funny how women are also accused of being jealous in that situation too.
I am close to a couple of couples that have a few years between them. One couple I have known the wife since I was 10 years old. She is a couple years younger than me. She turned 50 last year. There is a 12 year age difference between her and her husband. He is 38. They have been married for over 14 years now. Funny thing, my youngest brother is the same age as the husband. They are friends. I have always been friends with the wife. The thing is when people get older it does not seem to matter.
Take this next couple. A guy that worked here at the hospital for over 35 years. He raised his son on his own. His first wife left him years ago. When he was 42 he met a girl that has started working at the hospital, right out of high school. She was 19 when she started working here. At first nothing but the normal work related interaction. Over time though they kept running into each other. They found that they had some of the same interests in music and outdoor activities. After a few years they went to lunch and then started going out. Realize that he is older than her parents.
When he turned 67 he retired from the hospital. They are still together and have been married for over 20 years now. A year ago they sold their home and moved to another state. I am betting that the anyone in the new state could not care about the age difference. After a while both people are older anyway and it does not seem to matter. Sure when he was 42 and she was 19 it probably was a major news story. I think he is almost 70 now and she must be around 51 or so. At that age I doubt it matters any more.
One other thing to add... as a woman who is dating an older man. Most strangers who see you probably think she is your daughter. Seriously, we get that so much that my boyfriend and I joke about it (and we are only 10 years apart). He always jokes that he doesn't know if he should be flattered that someone thinks he's dating a "hot younger woman" or offended that something thinks "he looks that old!"
The only way someone doesn't think she's your daughter is if you are into big PDAs. In which case even I am going to look at you funny because no one wants to see that (aside from voyeurs).
Did you see the way that man just kissed his daughter?!? And just look where his hands are!
As you know from my topic I am dating a younger woman, and got a lot of negative reactions, I have also gotten some in real life, though I have noticed a pattern with it being women around my age group; 40 and up mostly. I can only guess it's the same for on here. Does it really bother you? Surely there are plenty men in your age group so why the negativity?
Me, 36, was dating a girl, 44, and oddly her insecurity about me "wanting" to date a younger girl was one of many reasons we are no longer together. She was insistent that I would not be happy with her at her age, even if I denied it a million times over.
With that said, I think it's obvious that women in their 40s are past their reproductive prime. I'm sure it is deemed a "threat" of some sorts for a man to eliminate them as a viable dating option. They would then have to date older men.
This lady would date men routinely in their 50s, which is ok, but I brought a lot more thunder in the bedroom at my age
<sigh> Nope, not annoyed, you're a total Internet stranger after all. I was responding to the suggestion that you as a mid-50's man have no (or little) baggage, while somehow a mid-50s woman DOES have too much baggage for you to deal with (plus, horrors, she's actually your age, which I guess you are saying is really old!). And you're still pretty much saying that. OK, forgive us if we are skeptical, maybe you are the rare mid-50s PERSON (of either sex) with no baggage.
(See others' responses to you as well ... many said exactly what I was thinking. Why does this mean we must be "annoyed" or "jealous"? Note, THAT is pretty much a rhetorical question.)
Incidentally, my SO is a few months older than I am. I've done the younger-man thing (he was 21 to my 39 -- great memories, but we had NOTHING in common except raging hormones!), but if I am ever single again I can't imagine looking more than 4-5 years in either direction, if I wanted to look at all (I like my own company just fine, LOL!).
BTW, has the OP been back? Maybe he'd forgotten that he'd posted about his almost-20-years-younger girlfriend using him for cars, tuition, clothes, etc. ...
I think some guys want very much for us to be jealous.
When I was 52 I dated a guy who was 57. The small age difference really isn’t relevant, but I broke up with him for several reasons; among them was that he was pushing me to get married. I told him I never intended to marry again and that, while I liked him, I didn’t love him.
His response? He said, “no, you love me.” We went back and forth several times with this. He kept insisting that I loved him as though I had no idea how I felt. Just too weird.
This thread is a bit like that. There are many women saying that, no, they aren’t jealous and don’t think most women would be, but many of the guys on here are saying, yeah, they’re jealous, they’re jealous. Weird.
Sure it could. My GF, who later became my wife, had conversations with some of these women, who were insecure, and thought she was "taking" someone out of circulation that could have been for them. Some of the married ones didn't want her anywhere near them, nor their husbands. And it wasn't like she was flirting with any of the men, or would have considered anything with them. She was nothing but pleasant, and respectful. Some women are just insecure around a younger, prettier female. I witnessed it myself, and heard the comments.
Yes, my husband has witnessed many, many of these older women's scowls when we're out and about (I've seen some of them but I typically don't look at other people when we're out). I don't claim to know what they're unapproving of (we have a very large age gap between us, however it appears to be even greater because of the way we look--I looking quite younger than my age and he older. So it may appear to some to be nearing a 40 year difference than the 24 years it is).
Anyway, it could be a number of things. They may think I'm using him for money or that he left his older wife for me. If we could have a sign around us that reads something like, "We met while messaging on an non-dating Internet forum, first marriage for both of us, and I make at times like 10x as much as he does in a year. We are [38] and [62]," I'm sure not that many people would give us hard looks (except to read the sign). But then, there are stereotypes for a reason, so I just figure when people look at us in a mean way they're imagining the negative possibilities.
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I was responding to the suggestion that you as a mid-50's man have no (or little) baggage, while somehow a mid-50s woman DOES have too much baggage for you to deal with (plus, horrors, she's actually your age, which I guess you are saying is really old!). And you're still pretty much saying that. OK, forgive us if we are skeptical, maybe you are the rare mid-50s PERSON (of either sex) with no baggage. 
Note, THAT is pretty much a rhetorical question.)
