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Old 01-25-2018, 09:46 AM
 
Location: DFW
12,229 posts, read 21,505,594 times
Reputation: 33267

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If a guy only dates much younger women as a pattern, then my guess would be he's immature, shallow, or not truly looking for a full relationship (more sex).

However, cupid can strike between two people of any age, so I wouldn't make that assumption just because I saw a big age gap between two people.
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Old 01-25-2018, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
10,048 posts, read 18,072,703 times
Reputation: 35846
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackwinkelman View Post
I did not say I was baggage free nor is a 35 yo necessarily either. Aging effects everyone of course but having a younger woman by your side does soften its effects a bit. But I have met a lot of women 50+ over the years who are single and most have a lot of stuff from their past to process. I don't and its easier to find a compatible woman younger than myself and I am more attracted to younger women. I keep myself in shape and I am financially secure so I can pull it off.

This is just my experience and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I do get this impression from you that myself dating younger women annoys you. Same impression I get in person from women from time to time.
<sigh> Nope, not annoyed, you're a total Internet stranger after all. I was responding to the suggestion that you as a mid-50's man have no (or little) baggage, while somehow a mid-50s woman DOES have too much baggage for you to deal with (plus, horrors, she's actually your age, which I guess you are saying is really old!). And you're still pretty much saying that. OK, forgive us if we are skeptical, maybe you are the rare mid-50s PERSON (of either sex) with no baggage.

(See others' responses to you as well ... many said exactly what I was thinking. Why does this mean we must be "annoyed" or "jealous"? Note, THAT is pretty much a rhetorical question.)

Incidentally, my SO is a few months older than I am. I've done the younger-man thing (he was 21 to my 39 -- great memories, but we had NOTHING in common except raging hormones!), but if I am ever single again I can't imagine looking more than 4-5 years in either direction, if I wanted to look at all (I like my own company just fine, LOL!).

BTW, has the OP been back? Maybe he'd forgotten that he'd posted about his almost-20-years-younger girlfriend using him for cars, tuition, clothes, etc. ...
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Old 01-25-2018, 11:48 AM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,003,025 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully View Post
Wealthy is a relative term though. Some hot young 22 year old thing from a trailer park might think a middle aged mid level professional guy is wealthy, and a considerable step up for her financially. Or heck any guy with a stable job for that matter. I did date a woman from a more humble background when I was younger who was extremely impressed just by the fact that I had the same job for a few years, my own car and my own apartment. How much that job paid and how fancy the car and apartment were didn't seem to matter. There was only about a 5 year age gap in that case though, if that.

But the point here is that in the cases given (not my posts, just interpreting this), the woman was with the much older man because of money.

I mean if these guys are okay with that, and realize that once the teat runs dry, even if it wasn't a hugely prolific teat to begin with, that chick is gone, gone, gone, and if the guy is okay that the girl is probably not actually turned on by him (again, in the cases described) in any sort of real way other than duty-moans, then okay. It is an understanding. In this case he has her for as long as he can keep paying for her, then when he's out of money, off she goes (with his money/gifts) to get with a guy she really does want.

AGAIN, just following the train of thought, not saying every single May/December relationship must be this way.
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Old 01-25-2018, 11:51 AM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,003,025 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
OP described himself as wealthy.
And even if he hadn't, he told us he bought the girl not only a car but her college tuition.

This man is spending coin. Not relative coin. Coin-coin. You don't have to be a millionaire in order to randomly go out and buy someone a new car plus vet school, but you we aren't talking the occasional movie or burger and fries, either. This isn't a total chump change, really poor girl has stars in her eyes at the smallest gift scenario.

OP receives lukewarm affections in response, and meanwhile his bought girlfriend spends all day playing on her phone and even flushed her Walmart job because she didn't want to show up on some days and other days "was sick."
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Old 01-25-2018, 12:10 PM
 
1,915 posts, read 1,481,472 times
Reputation: 3238
It occurred to me, while I am not a 40 year old woman seeing men my own age dating younger women... I am a woman who sees men my age dating younger (maybe just 10 years or so younger as opposed to 20).

I don't care.

I don't care so much that it didn't even dawn on me that this happens until I read this thread. Why would I care? I have my boyfriend in my life and what other people do and who they date has no impact on my life what so ever. What difference does it make if some rando is dating a younger woman, an older woman, a man, an iguana... or all of the above. I just don't care.

For men who seem to think that woman care who they are dating. Just stop and ask yourself why you think this. Let's turn the tables. Ask yourself, how much do you care that I am dating someone? How much do you care if I am not dating someone? How much do you care if I like men with a certain hair color (maybe one you don't have)? How much do you care that another poster here married a man 20 years her junior? How much do you care that some of the women here are married? Think of how much you care and realize that's how much random strangers care about who you are dating.

One other thing to add... as a woman who is dating an older man. Most strangers who see you probably think she is your daughter. Seriously, we get that so much that my boyfriend and I joke about it (and we are only 10 years apart). He always jokes that he doesn't know if he should be flattered that someone thinks he's dating a "hot younger woman" or offended that something thinks "he looks that old!"

The only way someone doesn't think she's your daughter is if you are into big PDAs. In which case even I am going to look at you funny because no one wants to see that (aside from voyeurs).
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Old 01-25-2018, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Panama City, FL
3,101 posts, read 2,003,983 times
Reputation: 6857
One would have to think himself quite the catch to assume all women between his age & his younger SO are jealous, as in... they want you & the 20-yr old got ya. I've seen the opposite... that smug smile from a middle aged gent with a young girl on his arm has brought snickers from others... because he gives off the vibe that everyone wants what he's got & he or she are somehow special... when others are saying it's his big wallet that's the attraction and/or an unmotivated girl who just wants someone to pay her rent.

If consenting adults, who cares. But, the need to bring it up in work as if bragging might be what women are negatively reacting to. Why do you want or need to tell others? Seeking approval, bragging, are they sharing as many details about their relationships?

In my teens, I worked with an obese 30-yr old woman who never stopped talking about her 1 night stands. No one wanted to hear about it. She claimed everyone was jealous. I assure you, no one was jealous of her or envious of her reckless lifestyle... we just didn't want to hear about her sexual escapades in excruciating detail, firstly, & second, we're at work... we're working... leave us alone to do our work!

I don't bring up relationships at work & I don't talk about work at home. For the former, I don't care what people at work think about my personal life. For the latter, I was just at work all day, I'm off now... I'm going back soon... can we just lay off the work talk & have some fun or relaxation.

The problem isn't the coworkers.
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Old 01-25-2018, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
14,229 posts, read 30,034,466 times
Reputation: 27689
Everyone wants a 10. And they probably can't help it. It's biological. We are hardwired to look for people who can reproduce and make good babies. All the men and women who are considered to be very attractive are in their reproductive years. Or at least look like they are. Open a magazine, turn on the TV. There are few exceptions.

Then society does a number on us. Sort of like counting coup for an old guy to have a hot young woman.
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Old 01-25-2018, 12:41 PM
 
Location: FL
353 posts, read 580,883 times
Reputation: 318
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Rest assured, nobody cares about someones love life.
Word.
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Old 01-25-2018, 01:12 PM
 
1,517 posts, read 1,666,000 times
Reputation: 2526
I'm a woman in my 40s. And i could care less about men (or anyone for that matter) who prefers to date younger. In fact, it doesn't even phase me in the slightest bit. The only thing I care about is that the men I want, want me too. So far, the men that I attract are not into younger women. Not everyone is into the younger dating thing. So to each their own.
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Old 01-25-2018, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,382,658 times
Reputation: 25948
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rassnon View Post
As you know from my topic I am dating a younger woman, and got a lot of negative reactions, I have also gotten some in real life, though I have noticed a pattern with it being women around my age group; 40 and up mostly.
You need to tell these women that it's none of their business who you date or who you marry. You don't need anyone else's approval to live the kind of life you want to live.


And yes, I do think their being uncomfortable with it has something to do with jealousy. I am a over 40 woman myself but I don't begrudge some man dating who he wants to.
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