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My wife contends that the false images of young, middle aged, and even senior women on Tv, print media, movies etc, make the average woman feel ugly.
So this question is for the ladies: Do you feel that all or parts of your body are ugly, gross, etc? Does this bother you a lot?
If it true, this is a shame because these women spend a small fortune on hair, makeup, clothes, they work out, spend money on plastic surgery, and on to of that, most of the still images are photoshopped. There's no way the average women can afford what these women in the public eye spend on their appearance.
I see plenty of over-65 women who look good. They don't look like they had plastic surgery, they just look natural and healthy.
Old (over-65) women can't expect to look young. If they have lots of plastic surgery and dye their hair they just look fake. Except from a distance or in a photo-shopped picture.
I was raised being told i was ugly, my mother body shames me to this day because im not thin like all the other asian girls. I have boobs and hips which is desirable in western culture these days but i grew up when thin was in. With that said, I don't think my body is ugly, life is too short to waste it hating yourself. My body represents my journey, it represents where i came from, and my parents that created me. My scars show how my body heals, my stretchmarks are a sign of what my body is capable off. My wobbly bits are warm and comforting.
Accepting my flaws has done wonders for my mental health and my relationships, there are still days when i wake up a little self conscious but that's just another part of my life.
When a young women, or even a little girl, is basically told that all her worth is based on her looks...this is the outcome.
I don't think there's really a black and white answer to these things. I think parents ought to teach their children that their worth isn't just in their looks, and that they should be taught self respect and respect for others...and lots of stuff.
OP, I think the images on TV do affect teen girls, some of them--pretty badly. They look at TV, and think all those cherry-picked actresses represent the average population, which isn't true at all, but many young teens don't know that. The teen years tend to be shaky ground self-esteem-wise, so teens are vulnerable in that way. As to whether adults are similarly affected, I don't know. I would hope not, but there probably are some that are.
I was raised being told i was ugly, my mother body shames me to this day because im not thin like all the other asian girls. I have boobs and hips which is desirable in western culture these days but i grew up when thin was in. With that said, I don't think my body is ugly, life is too short to waste it hating yourself. My body represents my journey, it represents where i came from, and my parents that created me. My scars show how my body heals, my stretchmarks are a sign of what my body is capable off. My wobbly bits are warm and comforting.
Accepting my flaws has done wonders for my mental health and my relationships, there are still days when i wake up a little self conscious but that's just another part of my life.
Interesting. I used to have a Chinese-American friend who was STRONG, and had defined muscles, and worked out. Not like muscle bound or unfeminine...but...strong. She told me her family didn't approve at all.
IMO, she looked spectacular, but she was always getting grief from her family.
Interesting. I used to have a Chinese-American friend who was STRONG, and had defined muscles, and worked out. Not like muscle bound or unfeminine...but...strong. She told me her family didn't approve at all.
IMO, she looked spectacular, but she was always getting grief from her family.
Yep, I have always been athletic and my mom hated it. I have 5 sisters that are small framed and the biggest is a size 4. My mom blamed my sports for altering my body shape, she believed it caused me to be too muscular and to overeat...she is partly correct.
I think that parts of my body are unappealing. I feel bummed out about how I look sometimes.
I struggled to explain this to someone recently. It is not so much a self worth matter, as it is a feeling of sorrow in terms of how I relate to the world around me, and a thing that makes me doubt other people's authenticity and valuation of me.
I see other people as these complex beings, I see beyond this surface level idea of "beauty." I love older people, with wrinkles that tell the story of all the things that ever made them smile. I can find loveliness in people who just...are not some standard idea of "beautiful." And in turn, I was not treated well as a child by "pretty" people...so I tend to not trust them or like them, fairly often. It's like there is nothing going on inside, if there's too much plastic-perfect outside.
I look in the mirror, and I see all of my flaws, and I still love myself a lot.
But I don't trust anyone else to. I've come to accept from a lifetime of boyfriends turning to look at hotter girls walking by, of being told that "men are visual" and of hearing women criticize others behind their backs, that other people don't see what I see, or value what I value. My flaws don't stand as ground for me to judge myself, but I assume that others see and judge them. And that men love youth and fertility the most, so as I am 40 now, and not getting any younger, I fret that my boyfriend will lose his attraction to me. Nevermind that he is 60, that doesn't matter, because he doesn't have to be young and pretty. Only I do. I don't judge those things. But he's a man, and men do. Yet I know what he gets out of having me around, so he'll probably keep me tied down to a relationship where he does not think well of me, just so as not to be alone. I could fly free and live for myself, but a man would rather keep and hate a woman than let her go to enjoy her life.
That's what I'm afraid of.
I'll be a disappointment, I'll be judged, but I'll still have to deal with people who don't see the worth I see in myself, they just keep me because hey...better than nothing. But I know this was because I could never be what my parents wanted of me, the pretty, popular, normal girl who was good at things they wanted me to be good at...yet I could not go live with my grandparents who actually loved me for who I was. I had to stay with people who beamed nothing but disapproval and disappointment at me all the time. It is a direct echo, and it is all in my head.
My boyfriend does find me attractive, at least today, at least he says so.
My wife contends that the false images of young, middle aged, and even senior women on Tv, print media, movies etc, make the average woman feel ugly.
So this question is for the ladies: Do you feel that all or parts of your body are ugly, gross, etc? Does this bother you a lot?
If it true, this is a shame because these women spend a small fortune on hair, makeup, clothes, they work out, spend money on plastic surgery, and on to of that, most of the still images are photoshopped. There's no way the average women can afford what these women in the public eye spend on their appearance.
No, but how others perceive me based on those false images and the rampant ageism affects me and other women directly or indirectly which have a degrading impact on the quality of our lives in the workplace, socially etc.
Yep, I have always been athletic and my mom hated it. I have 5 sisters that are small framed and the biggest is a size 4. My mom blamed my sports for altering my body shape, she believed it caused me to be too muscular and to overeat...she is partly correct.
My friend told me her mom told her she ate too much protein. lol
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