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About a month ago my girlfriend of a year(known for 2 years, friend first year) whom I absolutely adored broke up with me. Honestly still not sure why it ended. I never got a clear answer and didn't want to keep pushing so I just let it be. Regardless, it hit me pretty hard and it's something I'm trying my best to deal with on a daily basis. It being the holidays hasn't made it any easier. I lost my dad around this same time 4 years ago and my mom 6 years ago.
My parents willed their house to me and I've been living in it ever since they passed. It's the house I grew up in so I have a lot of memories here. Lately I've had this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Almost unbearable at times to the point I have actually just broken down in tears. This house is paid for but I've been thinking it's time to sell and move on. I think staying here is keeping me in the past. If I did sell I would give a third each to my two half brothers who live in different states.
So if I sell I will again have a mortgage. I have a good job and currently my commute is 1.5 hours each way but I do get to work from home a couple days a week. My manager whom is a friend as well really wants me to move closer to the office. It's the second biggest city in the state and one of the fastest growing in the US. Right now I live in the country and have some family and friends that live around me. I just don't feel like I fit in in this city and with the people. Sometimes I even feel alone in the office because me and my manager are in our mid 30s and everyone else is in their 20s.
I just don't know what to do anymore. One minute I feel like I've made a decision and the next day I don't feel the same about it. I'm so up and down about everything in my life right now.
Lol, not to put you down, but I always get a kick out of these people that are traumatized about the month between getting broken up with and finding a new girlfriend/boyfriend. Or the week they spent traveling solo. Who even had a girlfriend at all.
Try going seven years without having any interaction with another human being, let alone being touched by one. And there's people out there who've gone 10, 20....
Really look at yourself and ask if you have a truly "lonely and lost" problem from 1 month without a girlfriend
Lol, not to put you down, but I always get a kick out of these people that are traumatized about the month between getting broken up with and finding a new girlfriend/boyfriend. Or the week they spent traveling solo. Who even had a girlfriend at all.
Try going seven years without having any interaction with another human being, let alone being touched by one. And there's people out there who've gone 10, 20....
Really look at yourself and ask if you have a truly "lonely and lost" problem from 1 month without a girlfriend
I've gone years without dating or having an SO. During the time I was taking care of my mother and father when they were sick I didn't date for 4 years. I just had too much on my plate at the time and I was constantly either taking them to doctor appointments or at the hospital. I'm not someone who has to have someone all the time.
It was willed to me 100% if I decided to live there but if I ever decided to sell it I am supposed to split it with my brothers.
Perhaps you could keep the house to rent out, and you could move into your own a small apartment where you could start fresh emotionally. Could be the best of both worlds.
1. you got a roommate? Split costs down the middle, and bank the extra income for when and if you still want to sell and then buy a house.
It MIGHT help with loneliness...just having someone in the house...and who knows, might make a new friend.
2. How about making some changes in the house? New paint, new carpeting, maybe some key pieces of furniture...just things to make the house more YOUR vision and home, as opposed to your parents former home. Maybe it will help make it the place you WANT to be.
I am an only child raised in rural neighborhood that had no other kids. I've also struggled with depression and anxiety and have had major losses in my life. It took me DECADES, but I built a very happy and satisfying life.
I would say your first step is to see a therapist. They will help you break down your moods and responses to triggers and whatnot.
I moved to my current city from my hometown when I was 34. I LOVE my new city, but being away from family and friends in my home state is still incredibly painful. My one cousin is due to have a baby soon and I will not be able to be there. It guts me. One of my best friends suffered from rolling anxiety attacks for MONTHS and not being able to be there for him and being in constant fear for him was devastating.
But I've made new friends here and it's rare I have an evening home to myself. And tbh, I really couldn't stay in my hometown - there was SO much baggage there and family drama. I needed space.
Moving can be a great idea. Despite the pain of it, I have not regretted my move for a moment. And now I have the cozy house of my dreams. Nothing fancy, but I'm putting in a new kitchen and bathroom on the main floor. I have two dogs that are pretty awesome, and very social little cat.
Shop around for a therapist and don't be scared to find a new one if the first one doesn't work. A therapist can guide you on making these decisions.
Look for groups to join. Look for activities you enjoy. Consider medication.
You're young and you should be having much more fun than you are.
About a month ago my girlfriend of a year(known for 2 years, friend first year) whom I absolutely adored broke up with me. Honestly still not sure why it ended. I never got a clear answer and didn't want to keep pushing so I just let it be. Regardless, it hit me pretty hard and it's something I'm trying my best to deal with on a daily basis. It being the holidays hasn't made it any easier. I lost my dad around this same time 4 years ago and my mom 6 years ago.
My parents willed their house to me and I've been living in it ever since they passed. It's the house I grew up in so I have a lot of memories here. Lately I've had this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Almost unbearable at times to the point I have actually just broken down in tears. This house is paid for but I've been thinking it's time to sell and move on. I think staying here is keeping me in the past. If I did sell I would give a third each to my two half brothers who live in different states.
So if I sell I will again have a mortgage. I have a good job and currently my commute is 1.5 hours each way but I do get to work from home a couple days a week. My manager whom is a friend as well really wants me to move closer to the office. It's the second biggest city in the state and one of the fastest growing in the US. Right now I live in the country and have some family and friends that live around me. I just don't feel like I fit in in this city and with the people. Sometimes I even feel alone in the office because me and my manager are in our mid 30s and everyone else is in their 20s.
I just don't know what to do anymore. One minute I feel like I've made a decision and the next day I don't feel the same about it. I'm so up and down about everything in my life right now.
you have a free house??? no mortgage payment????????
you get to work from home a couple days per week??
my god....man up and appreciate what you have …...set goals and charge ahead...
yes break up hurt...but that's how me mature and grow...….. she doesn't represent the whole gender...find another girl....
after high school I worked in a slaughterhouse and lived in my car... I buss'd tables at night....not so much for the 2.50hr pay but for the food people didn't eat..... I told people I had two dogs....but it was the only food I could afford..
yep I came from humble beginnings.....nothing was given to me......but I certainly appreciate what I have and I worked and worked and finally got a decent job...
set goals...man up ...and steer your own ship...
if you aren't your own best cheerleader.... no one else will be
1. you got a roommate? Split costs down the middle, and bank the extra income for when and if you still want to sell and then buy a house.
It MIGHT help with loneliness...just having someone in the house...and who knows, might make a new friend.
2. How about making some changes in the house? New paint, new carpeting, maybe some key pieces of furniture...just things to make the house more YOUR vision and home, as opposed to your parents former home. Maybe it will help make it the place you WANT to be.
I was thinking of a roommate also. Updating in the home is a good idea too.
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