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1. I see a lot of people talking about how things should be while ignoring the way things are. Ex: Men prefer to be in relationships with women who don't have promiscuous pasts. Yes, this is extremely hypocritical - double standard galore. However, in reality this is the way many (NOT ALL, for all you people who freak out about generalizations) men think. We can't just pretend like this belief doesn't exist because you don't like it.
2. We all desire love. Seriously, all of this "I don't care if I grow old alone and never meet anyone" BS is halfway nauseating because it just proves that there is this deathly fear of admitting that we don't want to be lonely. Guess what? We're humans. We yearn for companionship. Sure, being with someone you can't stand is worse than being alone, but being alone and not having anyone to share your life with isn't the preferred choice, I'm willing to bet (unless you've become so hardened over that you've become apathetic).
3. Great guys are going to have their pick of women. Great women will have their pick of guys. People do approach relationships with a "what's in it for me" mindset, whether they realize it or not, and this contributes to the whole "I can do better" thing. If you can't offer anything to a person that he/she wants, there will be no relationship.
4. Exceptions versus the Rule. We all know of exceptions... but we shouldn't ignore the rule. They're called exceptions for a reason.
When you have women who are waiting for God to send them the right men, as are the women who are the subject of this thread, how is that "thinking for yourself" or so different from waiting for fairy godmother to wave her wand?
As others and I pointed out, if you're waiting for a wealthy man, you better have the "assets" that he wants.
That's true of anyone who has anything of value to bring into a relationship -- and I'm not just talking about financial value. You want to have a relationship with someone who has character and integrity? You better have the assets that she wants. She ain't gonna date a douche. Even a rich douche.
2. We all desire love. Seriously, all of this "I don't care if I grow old alone and never meet anyone" BS is halfway nauseating because it just proves that there is this deathly fear of admitting that we don't want to be lonely. Guess what? We're humans. We yearn for companionship. Sure, being with someone you can't stand is worse than being alone, but being alone and not having anyone to share your life with isn't the preferred choice, I'm willing to bet (unless you've become so hardened over that you've become apathetic).
I do agree with you on this to an extent. I guess the question, what entails "love"? Does it mean marriage and the family? Does it mean living together? Does that mean just dating and hanging out? I think it's different for each person.
I do agree with you on this to an extent. I guess the question, what entails "love"? Does it mean marriage and the family? Does it mean living together? Does that mean just dating and hanging out? I think it's different for each person.
It may be different for each person, but there is a common denominator: people generally want to be wanted and needed -- and not just for fleeting gratification. Everyone wants to mean something to someone, for someone to care for longer than 10 minutes whether he lives or dies. To be cared for by no one is to be invisible and insignificant, and that's a terrible place for most people. Unfortunately, casual dating and hanging out (as opposed to a long-term relationship), while fun, do not lend themselves to developing the type of bond that satisfies this longing.
I do agree with you on this to an extent. I guess the question, what entails "love"? Does it mean marriage and the family? Does it mean living together? Does that mean just dating and hanging out? I think it's different for each person.
Of course, we all have different experiences that shape our ideas of love. But I sincerely believe there's very few people in this world who are euphorically happy living their life all alone. I think we all crave companionship... just to be able to smile at someone and be comfortable with them.
Of course, we all have different experiences that shape our ideas of love. But I sincerely believe there's very few people in this world who are euphorically happy living their life all alone. I think we all crave companionship... just to be able to smile at someone and be comfortable with them.
To play devil's advocate, craving companionship does not necessarily mean romantic companionship. Someone can be single/unmarried, but if they have a support system of friends and family, even pets, and are active with hobbies or activities. a job they enjoy, travel, etc. they might not feel the aching chasm of loneliness that is implied by this thread.
But take for instance the post preceding yours, Wolfpacker? Well he is right. A well off 40 year old man can date a 25 year old woman or her 45 year old mother if he wants... that's a lot of competition for a woman who sets her sights on him! Sucks but it is true. I would do myself a grave disservice to not face the truth about this as a 40 year old woman.
I wouldn't know, I have never had any problem finding a man. I met my SO when I was 40.
I have always been the cute girl, never the really hot girl. Some men just seem attracted to me no matter what age I am so I can't relate to this notion that older woman have a difficult time finding love.
I wouldn't know, I have never had any problem finding a man. I met my SO when I was 40.
I have always been the cute girl, never the really hot girl. Some men just seem attracted to me no matter what age I am so I can't relate to this notion that older woman have a difficult time finding love.
The point was about well-off, successful men. We aren't talking about the average male.
The point was about well-off, successful men. We aren't talking about the average male.
And who said I wasn't referring to those men?
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