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I'm started to meet women in their late 40s who have never been married. I've never met one who was happy about it. Never. There is a sadness within these women as they realize that they have missed the boat.
What "boat", exactly?
Are you saying there is no chance of finding love after 40 so they should just give up??
Precisely. Just because you’ve never met a woman who has never been married and is happy/content with it without having any sadness, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Believing me costs you nothing and if I am right, you win because you will be in a good relationship. If I'm wrong, you still win because you haven't given any thing up.
On the other hand, if you think I am wrong and you find yourself 48, single and miserable some day, you will be screwed and will finally know it. A friend of mine who is 50 just went out on a date with a 70 year old man, who basically only wanted her to be a F buddy. This is the best prospect she has had in 3 years, and she knows its only going to get worse.
There's nothing in it for me to speak the truth on this...
Believing me costs you nothing and if I am right, you win because you will be in a good relationship. If I'm wrong, you still win because you haven't given any thing up.
On the other hand, if you think I am wrong and you find yourself 48, single and miserable some day, you will be screwed and will finally know it. A friend of mine who is 50 just went out on a date with a 70 year old man, who basically only wanted her to be a F buddy. This is the best prospect she has had in 3 years, and she knows its only going to get worse.
There's nothing in it for me to speak the truth on this...
So the OP is supposed to hook up with someone RIGHT QUICK so she can avoid possibly becoming a 50-year-old who somehow is exactly like your 50-year-old friend who, for possibly a million different reasons that have absolutely zero to do with the OP, went out on ONE date with a horny 70-year-old?
I am just not getting the logic. I thought grabbing someone who runs by and seems basically okay due to terrors of being "old and alone" was how many marriages ended up in divorce. So she should grab someone because some chick she doesn't know on a message board knows someone (or says she knows someone) who is 50 (waaaaaaaaay older than the OP is now) and had an old man (ewww, gross...was that the reaction everyone was supposed to have?) ask her to have sex with him?
Recipe. For. Disaster. (Each word is its own sentence fragment for emphasis.)
Also, I don't understand, Onglet...You're significantly older than the OP and are making no moves, as I see it, to hurry and grab a likely "forever" candidate. Right? That's a subject for another thread but it does throw a huge monkeywrench into things.
I don't think trying to terrify the OP into staying in a pretty darned bad relationship will make anything work out better. For anybody. I'm sorry. I just don't agree with your outlook.
ETA: Sorry, it was VanillaGorilla that Onglet was answering, not the OP. That could be confusing so I thought I'd clarify that I made a mistake there.
Please help me understand this phenomena--Why are there so many single women over 30?? I know many who are gorgeous, talented, graduated from Universities--some undergrad and others grad school and they find themselves living alone in the home they own with a catWHY?? They can't find a man to save their life...I don't get it. This is in Florida.
They are not high maintenance, very sweet and down to earth, as I mentioned before gorgeous...So what gives????
I know one who is 40 and NEVER has been married or have any kids. The others I mentioned above have not had children either. It is very sad to me. Most of them haven't dated in years..I'm talk 10 plus years!!!! I know they are very grounded in God and they say that is what keeps them sane---their faith. I commend that but I find that sad.
Most of them have had their heartbroken--so I don't know if they may have something to do with it. I have tried to intervene but it didn't work out. One of them who is 38 is sooooooooooo depressed she sounds suicidal at times. She will be on meds soon, but I can understand that pain of lonliness. I mean if they were unattractive perhaps I could understand then, but that isn't the case. And they are different ethnicities, black(very attractive), white(attractive), and latina(very very very attractive). For the most part, most are handling it well, but I just don't get it...any thoughts...
Well i can state that the relationship issue is not unique to the United States,as here in Australia the same applies.
Here overly high expectations from women are a big part opf the problem and as i expect happens in the States,a whole group of lower working class males whom seldom get a look in regardless of how nice guys they may be.
Women from this class here in Australia,would appear to take the single mother option,thus remain living on government handouts,hence a man is seldom needed and at times it seems most from this socio-economic group take this option.
On the other hand,high achieving women are often a little unreal in their expectations,wanting men who are earning higher,actually a number cease work when made their capture to have children,which is a bit of a waste opf their studies,perhaps,as some never return to what they studied.
On top of that there are a lot of gold diggers only wanting high earners which one can only assume in cases to set themselves up with a meal ticket for life.
Divorce is very high in Australia as it is in Britain and USA,so just in case.
But it is somewhat sad so many folk cannot find someone it certainly appears a lot harder than say twenty years ago,even with online dating now popular,although saying that folk seem divided on the results of that to from those i know who have tried it.
Doe
But all of the women I mentioned want marriage. I just don't know why they can't meet men. None have kids. They get looks but that's it. One of them is always online or actually does the club scene, and men drool over her. Then she is in a relationship for a couple of months but it is nothing concrete or conducive to a possible marriage. She is unhappy with the merry go around. So I get to hear of it.
2 of them are VERY strong and they never complain about it. Although one says she can buy her own ring and wants something that is worth 50K and then casually states "I can afford a 50K ring--can't you?"" I'm like OMG--I hope you don't say that to men.
That one I think doesn't want kids and is happy with her cats come to think of it. I just think how can they not go mad after not being kissed, hugged or touched by a man in 10 plus years. I can't understand it. NO they are FAR from lesbians.....
Yes they all travel, for the exception of the depressed one, but they all have lucrative professions and have so much to offer a man. I think it is just Florida--I am not sure. Oh I do have a Beautiful PHD friend who is black and she is so content on being single and serving God. I think her and the Latina are the prettiest, but there is another black friend who kind of reminds me of Alicia Keys but with a shorter do and thicker but Gorgeous....They never complain. Those 3 get approached the most but are still single. They are always functioning and as they say "Doing the things of God". I am amazed....I wouldn't think you would find such perserverance and solitude in 2010. I deeply commend them for that. One of them I suggest single conferences and she says she is in her late 30's and she is singled out as she puts it.
The replies are great...Thank you. Given me things to consider.
But all of the women I mentioned want marriage. I just don't know why they can't meet men. None have kids. They get looks but that's it. One of them is always online or actually does the club scene, and men drool over her. Then she is in a relationship for a couple of months but it is nothing concrete or conducive to a possible marriage. She is unhappy with the merry go around. So I get to hear of it.
2 of them are VERY strong and they never complain about it. Although one says she can buy her own ring and wants something that is worth 50K and then casually states "I can afford a 50K ring--can't you?"" I'm like OMG--I hope you don't say that to men.
That one I think doesn't want kids and is happy with her cats come to think of it. I just think how can they not go mad after not being kissed, hugged or touched by a man in 10 plus years. I can't understand it. NO they are FAR from lesbians.....
Yes they all travel, for the exception of the depressed one, but they all have lucrative professions and have so much to offer a man. I think it is just Florida--I am not sure. Oh I do have a Beautiful PHD friend who is black and she is so content on being single and serving God. I think her and the Latina are the prettiest, but there is another black friend who kind of reminds me of Alicia Keys but with a shorter do and thicker but Gorgeous....They never complain. Those 3 get approached the most but are still single. They are always functioning and as they say "Doing the things of God". I am amazed....I wouldn't think you would find such perserverance and solitude in 2010. I deeply commend them for that. One of them I suggest single conferences and she says she is in her late 30's and she is singled out as she puts it.
The replies are great...Thank you. Given me things to consider.
Would have expected more from some one with so said christian values than to blow k50,000 on a ring,afford it or not.
How many blankets would that buy down the local shelter? Me thinks that perhaps there is more too these ladies than meets the eye.
I love how people are quick to declare that these women are picky or that something must be wrong with them. Maybe they just haven't met a guy they want to marry. And even if their standards are high, it might be because they've seen enough failed marriages to know why it's so important to pick the right person.
"Pick the right person" means finding the man who has the most money/prestige, that's it. Character, integrity, honesty and other characteristics come dead last, if not at all. I'm sure this has something to do with the high divorce rate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
But what I'll never understand is this idea of sitting around waiting for something you want to come to you. Most people can't find a job by waiting for employers to come knocking on their door. If you want something in life, go after it. I know most women will say it's the man's job to pursue. Well if you truly believe that, don't complain when men don't approach you. That's kind of like a recent thread where someone said "I can't find a man because none will approach me." Gee, kinda hard to find something if you're waiting for it to find you.
Yea, I agree. Many of these women are in church. They REALLY believe that "god" will SEND them the right man. Sadly, my mom is one of these women, she has been waiting for a man to be sent by "god" for the past 20 years!
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So she should grab someone because some chick she doesn't know on a message board knows someone (or says she knows someone) who is 50 (waaaaaaaaay older than the OP is now) and had an old man (ewww, gross...was that the reaction everyone was supposed to have?) ask her to have sex with him?
I know they are very grounded in God and they say that is what keeps them sane---their faith. I commend that but I find that sad. 
Gee, kinda hard to find something if you're waiting for it to find you.