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Being one of CD's resident feminists, my advice will probably provoke some rancor, but for what it's worth, here is what I think:
I think you should worry less about what men in general supposedly want or expect, or the wants and expectations of men you are "supposed to" like, and more on the wants of men you actually like. But above all, as someone who (I assume) isn't yet married or in a marriage-like relationship, you should concentrate on building your life independent of any hypothetical future relationship.
Shakespeare wrote, "To thine own self be true." It's great relationship advice if you think about it. Be true to yourself. Know who you are, and know what you are not. Don't try to force yourself into a mold at the expense of cutting off your limbs and your head. Know your weaknesses, your preferences, your likes and dislikes, what your can or cannot put up with.
In a long-term relationship, be kind and attentive to your partner. It doesn't mean waiting on him hand-and-foot; it means never trivializing things that are important to him, even if you yourself are indifferent to them. If he has a dream, and it's a realistic dream, do as much as you can to help make it happen. But stay away from men who expect you to drop everything and exist solely to enable them, without regard to any of your own needs or wants other than those of basic survival. Stay away from men who trivialize things that are important to you and who don't give two ****s what your dreams and aspirations are.
No one can "have it all" -- NO ONE. We all have to compromise, accommodate each other and adjust our aspirations and plans to fit circumstances that are beyond our control. But good partners help each other have as much as they can. The fact that you can't have it all doesn't mean you should have nothing, or that you should have something that someone else decided you should have, even if it's not what you are in your heart of hearts -- and you should give men the same benefit. Don't live vicariously; most likely, you won't get any credit for it anyway, and though some women claim that they like living this way, I think it requires a degree of self-suppression that's absolutely crushing to most people.
Don't try to be something you are not. And if someone tells you that accomplishing something on your own and following your dreams means you'll die a bitter old maid and no one will ever love you -- rest assured it's a big, fat lie.
I can't imagine why anyone would have a problem with that post. It's terrific.
There will always be a problem, between genders, Women think differently than men, generally.
Many women over look a problem untill it escallates, / men deal with a problem as soon as they recognize it is there.
driving past an accident , a woman will slow down and take it all in so she has somehing to share wih others like a reporter, a man drives by , if emergency crews are there there are other things to be concerned about, I can, do something about.
Women look at the aftermath and cry, men look at the aftermath and assess , what could have been done to prevent it to begin with.
Ever see women fight in sport, they build up anger to get the adrenelen going, men on the other hand face the challange with an open mind and desicive responiveness to their opponent. they save the adrenelen till they need it.
Economically , women pay bills when they are due down to the last second, men pay bills as soon as the statement arrives.
dicipline, women usuually shield the decipline untill they are so frustrated thmselves then they finally act.
Men prefir to deal with problems before they escallate.
Parents that do not dicipline their children are why this world in in the hole it is in. fact.
In todays society women want both their place and mans place and men are struggling to keep their place . now you tell me wher the imbalance is ?
There will always be a problem, between genders, Women think differently than men, generally.
Many women over look a problem untill it escallates, / men deal with a problem as soon as they recognize it is there.
driving past an accident , a woman will slow down and take it all in so she has somehing to share wih others like a reporter, a man drives by , if emergency crews are there there are other things to be concerned about, I can, do something about.
Women look at the aftermath and cry, men look at the aftermath and assess , what could have been done to prevent it to begin with.
Ever see women fight in sport, they build up anger to get the adrenelen going, men on the other hand face the challange with an open mind and desicive responiveness to their opponent. they save the adrenelen till they need it.
Economically , women pay bills when they are due down to the last second, men pay bills as soon as the statement arrives.
dicipline, women usuually shield the decipline untill they are so frustrated thmselves then they finally act.
Men prefir to deal with problems before they escallate.
Parents that do not dicipline their children are why this world in in the hole it is in. fact.
In todays society women want both their place and mans place and men are struggling to keep their place . now you tell me wher the imbalance is ?
If anything good comes out of this horrible economy, perhaps it will be greater acceptance of SAHDs and the breadwinner gender bias will ease off. Boobs and bombs...I don't know a straight guy that doesn't like boobs. I have quite a few male friends that are Buddhists and bombs won't fly. I also work with and know several liberal scientists where there is no room for bomb acceptance. With these small things, I'm thinking SES is playing a role on the one hand. Boobs, bombs, pick-up trucks, and yucking it up is not the M.O. in Cambridge, ime.
Beyond that, I'll go back to culture. Drum circles, herb, group hugs, lots of dancing is more the norm in my network.
I love Man Men and this season (it's now 1965) it's capturing the changing times -- from the civil rights movement and the war in Vietnam -- to how women are beginning to redefine their roles.
As we debate on this board about why women are single past 30, that men want nurturers -- not career gals, that being 20-something guarantees success in a relationship more than being 40-something, I wonder if in 2010 we've really advanced much more than we were in 1965. Sure today's women have the option for advancing their education, to build careers and their own financial security. But at what cost? Reading the threads in this board, one can't ignore the numerous opinions that women having "all this" can never be happy because men don't want "all that." "She should focus on relationships and not career if she hopes to land a man," is what I'm hearing. Are women again being forced to choose between husbands and children vs. careers? Are men threatened by women who want more than that? Was it ever possible to "have it all?"
One line in Sunday night's episode, "The Beautiful Girls," summed up women's auxiliary role in an extended, and confusing, metaphor ... As she compares men to vegetable soup and women to pots, with no other purpose than helping men be the best soup they can be, we wonder, what is the role of women in men's lives?
"Men are like this vegetable soup. You can't put them on a plate or eat them off a counter. So women are the pot. They heat them up, hold them, contain them. Who wants to be a pot? Who the hell said we're not soup?"
Where are we in 2010? I thought we got past this 40 years ago!
Angst and quotes from a stupid TV show? Can you just quote us some sex and the city now so we can make our life decisions?
Sweeping generalizations.
Listen up people, it really doesn't matter what the "average case" is, you have to find the right person for YOU. If I wanted to date a one-legged atheist that like's cats....there is probably one or more out there.
So, if you are sitting around whining that you can't find Mr. or Mrs. "Right" because "men can't handle strong career women" or "women only want guys that are millionaires" then you are just making excuses and need some introspection.
Best of luck.
P.S. A women's role is whatever she and her partner negotiate and vice-versa. Did I really have to write that?
Mad Men is a thoughtful, well-written, well-acted drama. It's not in the same category as fluff like Sex and the City. And I liked SatC for what it was.
Angst and quotes from a stupid TV show? Can you just quote us some sex and the city now so we can make our life decisions?
Sweeping generalizations.
P.S. A women's role is whatever she and her partner negotiate and vice-versa.
I agree that a woman's role is whatever she decides it should be and if that happens in the context of a relationship, it should be negotiated.
I am more interested in how society responds to these choices. That's why, in addition to the soup analogy, I also quoted some statements I've heard on this forum.
I don't think MM is a stupid TV show. We'll just have to disagree there.
IMO role=box. And why the hell would anyone want to confine themselves to a box?
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Can you just quote us some sex and the city now so we can make our life decisions? 
