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I agree. If people weren't so fixated on raising their boys and girls differently, we wouldn't have different roles and people would feel comfortable doing whatever they wanted with their lives without fear of societal judgement.
This whole nonsense starts with how children are raised. How they see their parents act. How they are punished, how their parents react when they cry or fail...
At most I thought 'how cool', for the travels, which I won't share here, and him being a SAHD. He's smart, nice, funny, and a good fit. It would be pretty shocking to witness any sneering over it.
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Maybe it is the region you live in. I live in Alabama and know many men who have stepped outside the traditional roles, and they are not ridiculed. Many are male nurses, stay at home dads, help with the housework, and do anything women can do. Who ridicules them? It could also be generational or the group of people you hang around with. In today's economy most people are doing the best they can to survive, and they don't have time to worry about everyone's role.
Im not talking about jobs. I agree in this economy people cant be choosy. Stay at home dads are more acceptable and I personally am seeing more involved fathers. Im refering to more social roles, appearence, behavior. You can see it in small things. How men are expected to be strong and never cry, not be squimish, take a cussing, drive, assumed to be breadwinners, like boobs and bombs.
Bolded: help with the housework? Why not do the housework. It is accepted they help, but not be responsible for it is an example. Now if men painted their toenails and rented a chick flick, made a fuss over kittens and drank little drinks with umperellas in them instead of beer, your bet they would be made fun of, mostly by other men.
I agree. If people weren't so fixated on raising their boys and girls differently, we wouldn't have different roles and people would feel comfortable doing whatever they wanted with their lives without fear of societal judgement.
This whole nonsense starts with how children are raised. How they see their parents act. How they are punished, how their parents react when they cry or fail...
Im not talking about jobs. I agree in this economy people cant be choosy. Stay at home dads are more acceptable and I personally am seeing more involved fathers. Im refering to more social roles, appearence, behavior. You can see it in small things. How men are expected to be strong and never cry, not be squimish, take a cussing, drive, assumed to be breadwinners, like boobs and bombs.
If anything good comes out of this horrible economy, perhaps it will be greater acceptance of SAHDs and the breadwinner gender bias will ease off. Boobs and bombs...I don't know a straight guy that doesn't like boobs. I have quite a few male friends that are Buddhists and bombs won't fly. I also work with and know several liberal scientists where there is no room for bomb acceptance. With these small things, I'm thinking SES is playing a role on the one hand. Boobs, bombs, pick-up trucks, and yucking it up is not the M.O. in Cambridge, ime.
Beyond that, I'll go back to culture. Drum circles, herb, group hugs, lots of dancing is more the norm in my network.
From what I have seen you both just have to be flexable and not try to take on any "defined role". And once you find what works even then it could change. I have witnessed divorce after long term marriages because people grew weary of the roles they were in, even if they worked for them in the past.
Never underestimate the power of wanting what you can't have. Once you define yourself one way your spouse is going to wonder if the grass is greener...etc. People are difficult.
Im not talking about jobs. I agree in this economy people cant be choosy. Stay at home dads are more acceptable and I personally am seeing more involved fathers. Im refering to more social roles, appearence, behavior. You can see it in small things. How men are expected to be strong and never cry, not be squimish, take a cussing, drive, assumed to be breadwinners, like boobs and bombs.
Bolded: help with the housework? Why not do the housework. It is accepted they help, but not be responsible for it is an example. Now if men painted their toenails and rented a chick flick, made a fuss over kittens and drank little drinks with umperellas in them instead of beer, your bet they would be made fun of, mostly by other men.
I disagree. I think women are extremly tough on men. I am a member on a parenting site and there was a Debate and Discuss topic about what they would do if their son wanted to wear a dress, or do something "girly". Based on Shiloh Pitt (angelinas little girl that is a major tomboy).
I was shocked by how many women said they would never allow such GAY activity to take place. How wearing a dress would make their son gay, how they would beat the gay out of their son if he ever wanted to dress like a girl or play with barbies and ponies, or how their son must have issues if he likes pink.
Yikes poor men, from the day they are born they're are forced to conform to this stupid machismo norm by everyone including their own mothers!!
It all starts with the damn 'pink' and 'blue' and 'dolls' and 'trucks' and 'ladylike' and 'wimpy' and it turns into 'you better not be show emotion' and 'you'd better catch a man' and all this other b.s.
Kudos to the parents (mothers and fathers) who are just going to let their kids be and let them realize their potential and what makes them happy.
"There is nothing new under the sun..." A woman's place is wherever she chooses. And I choose... O the thinks I think
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exactly
O the thinks I think
