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And what, pray tell, do men want that women are ignoring and trivializing?
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
I'm curious as to what these specific wants are among 'men'. Frankly, I can't imagine my husband agreeing with anyone on this forum about wants (male or female), but he is a guy and I'm curious to ask him once you share what he's wanting.
I claimed that feminism makes a habit of ignoring what men want, not that I could explain to you two how to make your husband or boyfriend happy.
the mindset I saw from the OP was a failure to empathize with men, and her lamenting about some entitlement that she was supposed to get.
well, if you want a relationship with a man, you should have some interest in understanding what a man wants. ignoring what men want will alienate them.
Same goes for the man I am with. He needs to understand what I want.
I don't believe I have to fit any roles in society. I am so sick of the whole speech about how women are only good for breeding, cleaning and cooking. It's been going on for years and it bothers me to no end.
I will never be with a man who thinks I shouldn't have my own life outside the house. I need a job to be fulfilled. I need to be my own person, have my own interests before I can be anything to anybody. I have a brain and I want to use it. I want a career. I am not sure I want kids and even if I do have one or two, I still want to be able to work because financial independency is very important to me. I have been in bad a situation where I handed someone else control over my life. I didn't have a job that paid me well and I felt like I had no control over anything....so I ended up homeless when we broke up.
I will be damned if I ever go through something like that again!
If a guy wants a woman to stay home, cook and clean...he can hire one.
I claimed that feminism makes a habit of ignoring what men want, not that I could explain to you two how to make your husband or boyfriend happy.
Nobody is discussing happiness, as best I can tell. It's a simple question, what do you, men, etc want? If you know.
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the mindset I saw from the OP was a failure to empathize with men, and her lamenting about some entitlement that she was supposed to get. she calls it "going back to 1965", and asks, "Where are we in 2010? I thought we got past this 40 years ago!" Perhaps men are catching up and responding in kind with their own changing expectations, rather than associating with the "Having it alls" of the world.
Ok, hopefully you answer the question. For the rest of this, I don't see the OP lamenting on anything, but opening a debate.
Nobody is discussing happiness, as best I can tell. It's a simple question, what do you, men, etc want? If you know.
no, i don't know, although the other day i heard a woman say that men want "a maid, a mother, and a wh*re." i thought that was pretty funny and maybe true.
what i do know is that making an effort to figure out what the other person wants is important in a relationship for anyone.
I would prefer not to have children raised in daycare. At least not until 2 or 3. So I'll say that I would prefer a woman not to work during those years.
If she'd rather work, then I have NO PROBLEM staying home. Just make sure the fridge is stocked with breast milk and that I can join the MOMS CLUB to take JR to play.
funny how a woman could go out all day to work at a daycare and she's looked apon as having a job, yet if she stays home to care for her children, she's classified as not working. Remember all you men out there , staying home and caring for children IS working, and though she might not be bringing home the dough, a stay at home mom is probably saving as much as you make.A good woman and mom at home is what's best for the children, so what it boils down to is ..do you really want the kids and do you really want to raise them yourself.
if you hadn't noticed, modern feminism has a habit of trivializing what men want.
That's probably because a lot of what men want is to have all the power and control and 'say-so.' And to be serviced and attended. At least that's how it comes off.
I want that, too. But, yeah, if I walked around saying that, I'd expect to be blown off, too.
Nobody is discussing happiness, as best I can tell. It's a simple question, what do you, men, etc want? If you know.
He's talking about the way ANYTHING brought up as "what men want" -- without specifics or WITH specifics -- tends to get shoved aside.
Prime example: In another thread going in right now, one regarding a woman's sexual problems and proclivities (a particular woman, not "women") when it was revealed that the man in the scenario is embarrassed to attend counseling based on SEX, immediately two women dissed on him as both immature and a coward. NO mercy, no questioning as to why, they just went there instantly: Coward, lacking a pair, needing to grow up ("What is he, like 12? ")
Yet if a woman has any insecurity involving sex it's because "she needs understanding" or "she needs time" or "something has been done to her".
That kind of thing precisely, if you MUST have an example.
What do men want, you ask?
They want to feel like they're worth something to someone, and they want to feel that way without having to fight for every single inch of respect every single day. It's NO different than what women want, we just deal with a differentset of social expectations than women.
And yet our social difficulties and expectations are dismissed casually as invalid because they're "whining" and "pathetic" and we're supposed to be busy admitting that women are the underdogs battling it out for their slice of the pie which men clearly have just taken by brute force all along, subjugating the gals, etc, etc. That's what's really important, right?
There are others, myriad in nature, varying from case to case based on personal preference and situations just as such things vary from woman to woman. le roi was speaking generally and wasn't even hostile about it.
But I WILL be wrong about this -- because I'm just a man.
I'm sure YOU don't do that, and don't know any women who actually DO. No one ever does in here. It's all in the male imagination. Hell, it's practically a religious phenomenon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
Ok, hopefully you answer the question. For the rest of this, I don't see the OP lamenting on anything, but opening a debate.
I think the OP was opening a debate but it could easily be construed as centering on the bolded portion she was referencing: Why are women the pot instead of the soup? It goes right in line with what le roi was saying.
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