“There is no drama in relationships – women create drama” (call, social)

[JerZ]

Anyone who is gosmacked at the shocking idea that men create drama should read down some thread titles on here and check the gender.

Hell, just check some answers.

Yeah. Guys love drama too. Dramatic people are dramatic people. Drama is a sensation. Most people like it to a degree, in various ways (think rollercoasters and haunted houses, and action movies). Some people express it in ways that they don't consider drama (anger, for example). Some people come on message boards to get it (strong hint). But many people engage in it and it's a form of stimulation. (If you take it to an extreme it's actually a "thing," at least according to some philosophies: adrenaline addiction.)

Just don't pretend that one sex has the market cornered. Just nope, hell to the nope.

[tolovefromANFIELD]

Originally Posted by JerZ

Anyone who is gosmacked at the shocking idea that men create drama should read down some thread titles on here and check the gender.

Hell, just check some answers.

Yeah. Guys love drama too. Dramatic people are dramatic people. Drama is a sensation. Most people like it to a degree, in various ways (think rollercoasters and haunted houses, and action movies). Some people express it in ways that they don't consider drama (anger, for example). Some people come on message boards to get it (strong hint). But many people engage in it and it's a form of stimulation. (If you take it to an extreme it's actually a "thing," at least according to some philosophies: adrenaline addiction.)

Just don't pretend that one sex has the market cornered. Just nope, hell to the nope.

I've got a business partner who's a guy, and he's more dramatic than all my female employees put together. Although, he gets that from his mother, so there's that

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by RbccL

My ex husband used to slam doors and make a big NON-verbal racket when he was mad or upset. To me that is the worst kind of drama.

Ugh! Some men are SO emotional! Oy!

[picklejuice]

Originally Posted by Inacitysomewhere

Bs. I am a woman and I DESPISE drama. I have dated Drama Kings before and that necer lasts long.

It has nothing to do with gender.

Exactly. It has to do with character (flaws).

[TJenkins602]

In my observations, guys create every bit as much drama as women do, especially these days.

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*

Yesterday my boyfriend and I were out shopping and I spotted a couple sitting on a bench in the shopping mall. The girl was crying and saying things to the boy, and the boy was just shaking his head. I told my boyfriend of my observation and he said something like “you girls and your drama, we hate it!”

I told him relationships come with drama and that’s when he said “there is no drama, women create drama.”

I said that was a load of garbage and that if there is something on our mind we need to talk about it, we need to tell you our feelings and he said “we don’t WANT to talk about feelings!”. I asked if we were just expected to hold it all in but he didn’t respond, he was already distracted looking at something in the shopping mall.

The weird thing is, if we break up with our boyfriends telling them of the horrible things they’d said or done to us to hurt our feelings, they often say “why didn’t you tell me?!”. I don’t know WHAT we’re expected to do!

Do you believe this is the case? If the world was entirely male populated (impossible I know, but hypothetically speaking), would relationships be drama-free?

N.B. I am NOT looking for relationship advice I am just wanting to know your thoughts on this statement from both the male and female perspectives.

You and your boyfriend are both terribly wrong.

Men create drama all the time. Holy hell. Stalkers. Spousal abuse. The list goes on and on. So your boyfriend is out of his mind.

That being said, let's move on to you because I think you have some odd ideas about relationships.

A good relationship is almost entirely drama-free, for it's important to realize the source of drama: Self-centeredness, insecurity, and ultimately a lack of trust. There is an enormous difference between drama and having the occasional disagreement.

In a strong relationship, you shouldn't need periodic summit meetings about your feelings. You simply say how you feel about something as a matter of course, along the same conversational lines of, "Pass the salt please." As in, "Yeah, hey, you know how you didn't introduce me to your acquaintance at the store? I didn't like that. By the way, what movie are we going to see tonight?" Chances are, the person wasn't aware of his or her actions previously, and now is. Thus informed, you can both move on. In other words, a thousand small conversations rather than a tumultuous few.

If you're needing these sit-down talks about feelings, if you require an exhausting series of confrontations to explain your position on things, then it means you were a partner in the dysfunction to begin with. You have not communicated well at all and have kept things bottled up until it becomes a gigantic issue. It takes two to tango, as the saying goes.

I talk about my marriage a lot on here, chiefly because we've managed to sail through 28 years without a major dustup. It's not because we are superior human beings or anything. It's just that we know how to talk to one another. If one person says something the other doesn't like, we say so. And, remarkably, as we've grown to know one another more and more deeply over the years, we have very few of those conversations. If my wife is going out with the girls, I say have fun. If I go out with my friends, she says the same.

In other words, if you have trust and basic consideration for one another, you don't have drama.

[lucky2balive]

there is a reason they call it "drama queen"...and not "drama king"

I'm 49...married...in my experience with wife, wifes friends, friends wives, girls I dated back in the day...although men can and do create drama...most of it comes from women...the women drama in my life now is small and petty...not really a big deal...but in the past its been unbearable to the point I wanted nothing to do with the girl

I rarely see a couple in the mall or in public where the guy is non stop complaining and nagging while the girl just sits there and takes it...its usually the other way around

at work, lots of guys don't answer the phone if its the wife, usually calling to complain about something...women...some not all...try too hard to change the man...drama ensues

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by lucky2balive

I rarely see a couple in the mall or in public where the guy is non stop complaining and nagging while the girl just sits there and takes it...its usually the other way around

I'm curious, why do you see this as the woman creating the drama? It very well may be the guy created the drama by doing something that prompted the complaining, or not doing something that prompted the nagging.

[Sonic_Spork]

A man who doesn't act like a naughty little boy trying to get away with stuff, in a relationship, might not get lectured by his wife as though she was his mother.

Hint: Your wife does not want the role of your mother.

Some people sure are more petty and argumentative than others, but if there is a gendered factor anywhere in it, this is where I've seen that.

[hollandman]

I once went out with a girl who would cause all kinds of drama and petty arguments over next to nothing. She'd make a big deal out of stuff, become tetchy over the slightest little thing, and it irritated the hell out of me. There was another one who used to get emotional when there was no need at all, and it was very difficult to deal with. And another one nagged a lot and played guessing games, which I'm not into.


But as I've gotten older I've occasionally found myself looking back, and wondering if perhaps sometimes it was me, not them. I now understand that more often than not, it was all my fault.