Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
At this point in your life, how important is sex to you?
I'd say for me, it's something that I pretty much NEED to have right now in my life. If I could get sex everyday, I would, and I would do it at least 2 times a day (more if time permits). When I was with my ex, we would have sex in the morning before work, a quicky when we came back from work or school, and then a hot steamy session at night.
When I go without sex for more than a month, I start to obsess over it. I know it sounds nuts but my hormones are still raging and my sex drive is off the limits right now. So I definitely don't want to waste all this sexual energy that I have for nothing and get older and feel like crap if I settle down and don't crave it as much. It's beyond that though, it's just that I simply love and enjoy sex, and like I said, my sex drive is ridiculously high right now. I still think with my head rather than my penis though, so I'm not desperate or anything. I'm just very particular with which lady I have sexual encounters with, and for me, I like it to have meaning. We don't need to be boyfriend or girlfriend but the relationship has to have more depth to it than just physical attraction.
So, how important is sex to you?
Very...i have ended relationships because the person i am with has a low drive.
When I have a man, we have to have sex at least 3-4x a day if the time permits. Otherwise I am just happy with three. Then again, I have a very high sex drive. If my man didn't have the same drive, then I'd probably let him go.
Well the #1 problem there is based on a very dated view of women, for one, and there's nothing wrong with bonding with more than one person. Certainly hasn't killed anyone I know, nor caused them irreparable damage.
#2 Herpes is transmittable in a plethora of ways, not only sex, most people either have it or are bearers of it, just a part of life, you do what you can to avoid it, but you'd lead a sad life if you avoid living because of it. Same goes for genital warts.
Lastly, your information comes from a horribly skewed website, with a very obvious agenda, it's not even close to neutral and objective, and shouldn't be trusted as a source of information.
Plus, you're disregarding all the positive things that comes out of having sex, including purely physical and chemical reactions to it, for one, it builds your immune system, it releases endorphines, which is good for you and your brain, it relaxes muscles and body as well as mind etc etc etc.
There are far more dangerous things out there than STD's, things like...getting in the car each morning. Walking around being scared, or trying to impose sex as some sort of danger is silly, at best.
If you're against sex before marriage for religious reasons, then be a man and admit it, don't go looking for silly, nonsensical reasons that aren't true or very skewed version of the truth.
This is kind of like people who claim coffee is bad for you, citing only the possible negative reactions you can have to it, whilst plainly disregarding huge, long lasting scientific tests proving all the good qualities of coffee.
There are risks involved in living, trying to avoid them all will only lead to an empty life.
What if you are in a situation where you've had xex, and those physical benefits you described don't happen?
I can have the big O but it doesn't make me feel any different. I don't feel stress relief from the act, the only way I can describe it is if you were to put on 3 condoms and go at it. I used to work out hard so I do know what the endorphin rush is supposed to be like but I don't get that from the act. I have talked to numerous doctors and they all ignore me. I'm not on any meds and I don't have diabeties--I've just never gotten a buzz from the act. (sorry I am at work and can't type * e x). Most women I know (especially my age) are in the prime and can say they have desire but I have none at all and it hurts. It mentally gets me down. I feel like I am the only broken person on the planet.
What if you are in a situation where you've had xex, and those physical benefits you described don't happen?
I can have the big O but it doesn't make me feel any different. I don't feel stress relief from the act, the only way I can describe it is if you were to put on 3 condoms and go at it. I used to work out hard so I do know what the endorphin rush is supposed to be like but I don't get that from the act. I have talked to numerous doctors and they all ignore me. I'm not on any meds and I don't have diabeties--I've just never gotten a buzz from the act. (sorry I am at work and can't type * e x). Most women I know (especially my age) are in the prime and can say they have desire but I have none at all and it hurts. It mentally gets me down. I feel like I am the only broken person on the planet.
Keep trying different doctors - I would be so resentful to go through life under those circumstances - it sounds awful - I would keep trying until I got someone to listen.
I never had a very high sex drive, or maybe it's just that sex was for me never a priority.
Now with aging (I'm turning 55), it doesn't seems to get better.
But I'm not an asexual either.
My drive is higher in summer anyway. Most of the time I use antidepressants , it helps not being bothered by "sexy" thoughts. Fortunately I have X videos stored in my hard drive, so from time to time I watch them, it's a kind of therapy.
It's very important in my life and in my marriage. Aside from the immediate physical pleasure, it's both a barometer of the health of the relationship and a means to make the relationship closer. It takes on even more importance, the less satisfied you are.
Well, I've been on that path since 1994 and it leads me no where. It would be nice to know what being "in the mood" feels like.
I know you said you aren't on any meds. Are you on hormonal birth control?
Have you had your thyroid checked? Not just TSH but T3 and T4 as well?
Just some thoughts. Those two things KILLED my drive...as in I never felt "in the mood" and even during the act, I would feel numb to it. I'd orgasm but it just wasn't the fireworks/headrush that I get now.
Also, might I suggest a rabbit toy for a little self-exploration (search "rabbit" at Adam and Eve or your favorite toys site). Sometimes trying something differet helps reignite (or light) the fire.
What if you are in a situation where you've had xex, and those physical benefits you described don't happen?
I can have the big O but it doesn't make me feel any different. I don't feel stress relief from the act, the only way I can describe it is if you were to put on 3 condoms and go at it. I used to work out hard so I do know what the endorphin rush is supposed to be like but I don't get that from the act. I have talked to numerous doctors and they all ignore me. I'm not on any meds and I don't have diabeties--I've just never gotten a buzz from the act. (sorry I am at work and can't type * e x). Most women I know (especially my age) are in the prime and can say they have desire but I have none at all and it hurts. It mentally gets me down. I feel like I am the only broken person on the planet.
Well there could be several reasons that happens, both physical and psychological, or it could simply be that your sex drive is very low. That said, sex tends to be one of those things you want/need more the more you have it.
I know personally that my sex drive fluctuates wildly, not only with my mood, but the season (spring and summer are my primes) but most importantly, whether or not sex is available.
I'm in a steady relationship, and for some time we were separated by an ocean for 6 months at the time, during those 6 months my sexual drive would drop to maybe 10%, if that, of what it is when we're together.
If I were you, and you do have an issue with this, I would talk to my sexual partner about this (if you are in a relationship and it's stable enough to handle that conversation), openness about this will, I think, be key to engaging any properly successful relationship. Being open and honest with your partner might also open your partner up to different ideas and trying different things, giving you the time you need (hopefully) to relax and not be stressed about the situation, which I'm sure you are at this point, and trust me, that doesn't help.
Secondly I'd contact both a doctor and a psychologist and I wouldn't let them blow me off. Sex is an important part of life for many people, and if there's a medical reason why you can't enjoy it, it should be taken seriously.
If this is important to you, don't give up on it, explore possibilities, a psychologist can help you deal with any potential mental blocks you've created for yourself on the subject over the years.
And if it turns out your sex drive simply isn't on the level of the "average" person, don't feel "broken" just cause you're not like everyone else, people have led perfectly happy and rich lives without a wild sex life too.
I know you said you aren't on any meds. Are you on hormonal birth control?
Have you had your thyroid checked? Not just TSH but T3 and T4 as well?
Just some thoughts. Those two things KILLED my drive...as in I never felt "in the mood" and even during the act, I would feel numb to it. I'd orgasm but it just wasn't the fireworks/headrush that I get now.
Also, might I suggest a rabbit toy for a little self-exploration (search "rabbit" at Adam and Eve or your favorite toys site). Sometimes trying something differet helps reignite (or light) the fire.
I recently started taking the pill to control my pms. I've had this low libido/no desire problem forever though.
I just had a lot of blood work done and nothing came up with the thyroid.
I do have a good toy that I use to keep from drying up.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
