You must never cry in front of a woman if you want her to respect you (wife, couple)

[Bluefox]

Originally Posted by d-boy-80

How true is that statement. I realize most women hate it when a man cries unless they are really in love with him.

As we've seen, this blanket statement has thus far not been supported by one female poster on this thread.

I don't think it's so much about a man not crying only because he thinks the woman will lose respect. It's more of a male pride thing.

Strictly an issue men have with themselves, because as several male posters have pointed out, we are taught that it is weak to cry in front of others (not just women), or maybe even to cry in general.

I'm a victim of this socialization myself. I am not aware of any time in my adult life that I have cried in the presence of anyone else, even though several times I had wanted to. But I also haven't had anybody extremely close to me pass away since I was a child. Once you're socialized a certain way it's extremely difficult to break that mentality.

What would be a good example of a female equivalent...mm, maybe wearing makeup? I know plenty of guys who don't care whether a girl wears makeup, but a lot of women feel like they are supposed to even if they know their S.O. doesn't care..not exactly on point but you get the gist.

They're both examples of the fictional Mother Culture telling us what is and isn't ok. Pretty arbitrary if you ask me.

[lovebug11768]

Men have a problem with men crying. Women don't seem to have a problem with it at all.

I have no idea what crying has to do with being strong. They are totally separate. Being able to be tough when threatened has nothing to do with crying when you're sad. It's like saying men shouldn't laugh because they have to be strong - It makes no sense.

[crabman1]

Originally Posted by imcurious

It depends why he is crying. If it is because he misses his mommy, doesn't want to go to work, or is scared of spiders, it might be a turn-off. But if it is to express deep feelings, it is a turn-on.

I could agree with most of this but the spider part, uhuh. Spiders ARE really scary. I'm not sure if its worth crying over scary but lets not downplay just how seriously frightening spiders are.

[lakeman0]

all you will get are pc answers, the reality of the fact is women like their men hard and men like their women soft. That isn't too say an occasional soft moment isn't good, but i wouldn't do it repeatedly, same with women being "hard", good in small quantities bad in big ones.

*my opinion*

[sweetheart1311]

I could never fully trust a man who never cries. I'd wonder if he's dead inside.

[SD4020]

Originally Posted by alphamale

Yes it does.

All straight men know that there are only four circumstances in which a real man can cry.

The death of a loved one.

The wedding day of your daughter.

You son's first hit, score, point, etc.

and when your team wins a championship.

End of story.

And when your dog dies.

There is a time and place for laughter and for tears. Sometimes yes tears are needed. Other times buck up and deal with it.

[MIKEETC]

Originally Posted by d-boy-80

How true is that statement.

That is a silly statement.

[Mooseketeer]

Originally Posted by Djuna

I don't hate anyone who cries, man or woman. We are all human with emotions and frailties. Crying and sadness are part of the human condition.

Perfectly said. I certainly wish more men would allow themselves to cry. I am not talking about someone who blubbers every 5 minutes, but it is nice to meet men who are men enough and secure enough in their sexuality to been seen to be human and vulnerable.

I personally find that really sexy and it also shows maturity . It proves you have come to terms with who you are and are also not afraid of what others will think of you.

A friend of mine in Finland lost his baby soon after he was born and was not allowed to grieve because "real men do not cry". We saw him 6 months after it had happened and mentioned how sorry we were about his loss and he burst into tears in my arms , in the middle of a restaurant , and told us it was the first time he had allowed himself to do so. He was actually grateful to us because he knew we would not judge him.

That to me is incomprehensible, that you have to hold the grief and the pain in and pretend all is well when it so blatanly isn't.

I find it cruel and dehumanising that some people will judge a man weak or a lesser human being beause he has feelings and emotions just like women.


Is there anything more pathetic and deeply sad than a man who is worried about his peers that he cannot even let himself grieve for his own child ?

Nothing macho about that, that to me is the essence of weakness and giving in to others, the inability to express emotions is no proof of strength but of being incapable of being who you are inside. Social conditioning forces men to be something which defies Nature and IMO if you repress nature you often end up with some explosion somewhere else... People either implode ( leading to depression, alcoholism etc...) or they explode ( leading to aggressive and sometimes violent behaviour).

We are not meant to repress our very own nature.

A real man does cry, a real man has emotions and a real man does not give a toss what others will think of him. He ploughs his own furrow and has the character and the backbone to realise his humanity in sorrow and grief.


Oddly enough a lot of so called "macho men" seem to make an exception to the "real men don't cry" when it comes to sports... I can see why your football team winning or losing the World Cup or the SuperBowl would trump losing a child... It's a bit like grabbing other men's butts. Not OK in the street but on a football field... no problem....

To me the weakness lies in pandering to certain socio-cultural expectations. Crying is good for the soul, it cleanses it in my opinion. It allows expression of feelings and is an outlet for pain, sadness, sorrow, grief despair , rage, frustration etc... as well as joy).

Of course most of us should not be crying our eyes out for the slightest thing, there has to be a balance but I am certainly never going to judge a man adversely for being mature and strong enough to be human.

[max's mama]

That's the problem with this society. Men from childhood are taught that crying is for sissy and that he should keep his emotions to himself. So many of them are incapable of communicating when they are hurt or sad.
There is nothing wrong with crying if you are hurt. I had seen my husband cry before and it actually made me respect him even more, just for the fact that he was not afraid to show his emotions to me...

I feel saddened for OP.

[DJTEEL]

my ex cried and i shot her



i'm kidding