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We know that's not true, after a certain age in this situation people wouldn't be able to handle any difficulties that could (and surely do) come with relationships.
We know that's not true, after a certain age in this situation people wouldn't be able to handle any difficulties that could (and surely do) come with relationships.
Why not? People of all different ages and backgrounds have trouble handling relationships. That's why a lot of relationships don't work out.
I disagree. There are plenty of unhappy people who don't change because they are too afraid. If everyone who was unhappy changed, then no one would be unhappy.
It is absolutely his choice if he wants to be alone, but he posted here...for advice? Honestly I'm not sure why he posted. And everyone encouraged him to have more confidence, give a relationship a chance, get counseling if need be, and he didn't listen. Why post for advice if you you're not open to what others have to say and just want to be left alone?
Who's to say he hasn't took everyone's advice? Who's to say he hasn't moved on? Who's to say he hasn't accepted being alone? The OP hasn't posted on C-D since last August. This thread was resurrected by someone who just wanted to laugh at a 41 yr old virgin.
Why not? People of all different ages and backgrounds have trouble handling relationships. That's why a lot of relationships don't work out.
I agree with Virijat. There does seem to be a 'point of no return,' now there's always exceptions to every rule but for the majority that I've seen, including myself it was nothing but an uphill battle. And I'm sorry but I cannot think of one real life situation where a person reacted positively to this. It's true what you say: everyone has some sort of trouble in relationships. Everybody has a different set of 'issues' for lack of a better word, that they have to work with. I don't think anyone can look at another person and wave off whatever they deal with as 'not valid enough.' (Not saying you did this but speaking in general). What people have said to me online has never come to fruition IRL and until it does, it's not reality, IMO.
side note: fruition was my word of the day.
I'm in a somewhat similar situation to that of the OP. The difference is that I'm 35 (a virgin as well) and I've fully understood that I can't have a relationship for my own happiness and for the happiness of my hypothetical partner.
Besides, both the OP and I are past the point of no return, so it doesn't really matter anymore.
What are you basing that off of? Have you been diagnosed with psychological condition that would make it impossible to have a relationship? Or are you basing if off of the fact that because you have never had sex and most likely a girlfriend by the age of 35 that you feel like you have missed the boat on relationships and that no one would find you desirable because of it and as a result are afraid of being humiliated if it comes out? If it's the latter the solution is simple not easy but simple and that is be brave and ask people that you are interested in out on a date. If this is something that you feel that you can't resolve yourself then you need to get counseling and there is no shame in getting counseling for resolving an issue.
I haven't been diagnosed with anything as far as I'm aware. I just know myself really well and I think this is a great virtue. I'm sure things could go right with a woman in the first few dates, I can keep a good conversation in a wide range of topics.
But that's as intimate as things could get. I can't even imagine kissing a woman. I've no problem with others doing that but to imagine myself doing it is just embarrassing to say the least.
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