For Men With Children - Paternity Test; Child Not Yours? (narcissistic, feelings)
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I would think most smart men would simply pull a paternity test in secret Who has to know anything?
Exactly, and they do it.
This is why some European countries that banned or severely limited most options to fathers, those countries are also banning paternity kits in their local stores and they also block the cash transfers towards known "offending" paternity testing companies who offer anonymous testing via the internet.
Many will still find their way to work around this. Americans have the easiest way though, since most of the troubles that occur to other men won't affect them.
Although it's illegal to do anonymous testing, alleged fathers will still take samples secretly, buy the kits in secrecy in the other part of town to avoid being caught, then they'll simply send the samples and do the payment in secrecy, and evaluate the results in secretly accessible internet page. There's literally no legal risk for them and they have a peace of mind forever after they're done with testing.
It's no different than women doing pregnancy tests at their own convenience without potential "fathers" knowing it, then acting accordingly on what they deem best. It's for their peace of mind to determine if they ended up pregnant and many women will even go for abortion in secrecy in case that they want to retain their boyfriend/husband but they know that they'll walk away in case they find out that she did an abortion. Many people will find it as a dealbreaker even though they consider themselves as pro-choice. Thus their girlfriends act accordingly.
Exactly, and they do it.
This is why some European countries that banned or severely limited most options to fathers, those countries are also banning paternity kits in their local stores and they also block the cash transfers towards known "offending" paternity testing companies who offer anonymous testing via the internet.
Many will still find their way to work around this. Americans have the easiest way though, since most of the troubles that occur to other men won't affect them.
Although it's illegal to do anonymous testing, alleged fathers will still take samples secretly, buy the kits in secrecy in the other part of town to avoid being caught, then they'll simply send the samples and do the payment in secrecy, and evaluate the results in secretly accessible internet page. There's literally no legal risk for them and they have a peace of mind forever after they're done with testing.
It's no different than women doing pregnancy tests at their own convenience without potential "fathers" knowing, then acting accordingly on what they deem best. It's for their peace of mind to determine if they ended up pregnant and many women will even go for abortion in secrecy in case that they want to retain their boyfriend/husband but they know that they'll walk away in case they find out that she did an abortion. Many people will find it as a dealbreaker even though they consider themselves as pro-choice. Thus their girlfriends act accordingly.
So should we make women take a mandatory pregnancy test once a month and make that knowledge publicly accessible so that she can't get away with anything? How about we all wear chastity belts that are controlled by the government - so anytime anyone wants to engage in any kind of sexual activity, it has to be requested and reported and a government agent will come out and unlock the chastity belt.
People are responsible for their own personal lives.
So should we make women take a mandatory pregnancy test once a month and make that knowledge publicly accessible so that she can't get away with anything? How about we all wear chastity belts that are controlled by the government - so anytime anyone wants to engage in any kind of sexual activity, it has to be requested and reported and a government agent will come out and unlock the chastity belt.
People are responsible for their own personal lives.
Wow, that's the stupidest thing I've yet heard from you Dewdrop - I expected better.
All that post was saying is that BOTH men and women want to protect their own interests, and should be able to. Women have more choices and rights when it comes to reproductive decisions - men need to catch up in that regard.
No, I can't explain it to people who either won't or don't want to understand. And even if I tried to explain it - unless you've experienced it, I don't think you could understand. I've tried to explain it - but things just keep getting thrown back at me because you don't understand. And that's okay.
A long time ago I was married so I have an idea of what I'm talking about. If it keeps getting thrown back at you and you can't refute it it probably means you're point wasn't good. If you have a good explanation I will listen and agree as I've done with you before.
I read somewhere that 10 percent of households have a child that is fathered by someone other than the husband.
What does it really matter... I mean in the big grand scheme of life???? Yeah, you're wife cheated on you, but the child thinks you're dad.... and you are dad...... I don't mean it doesn't matter, I just mean nothing really good is gonna come out of it...
Really... what good can come out of it?????
The child finds out, can turn their life upside down.......
Being is father isn't biological........ it's being there... doing the hard work....
Sometimes, and I only mean this occasionally.... ignorance is bliss.....
Wow, that's the stupidest thing I've yet heard from you Dewdrop - I expected better.
All that post was saying is that BOTH men and women want to protect their own interests, and should be able to. Women have more choices and rights when it comes to reproductive decisions - men need to catch up in that regard.
Men have a choice - they can choose not to have sex. They can choose to get a paternity test. My point is that the government should not be involved in our personal affairs. There are people who screw things up for everyone else - but we are still in charge of our personal lives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBomb
I long time ago I was married so I have an idea of what I'm talking about. If it keeps getting thrown back at you and you can't refute it it probably means you're point wasn't good. If you have a good explanation I will listen and agree as I've done with you before.
No - if I say that we trust each other - and people keep saying that it's impossible to trust someone or that I shouldn't or he shouldn't - its not that my point wasn't good. It's that not everyone can relate to the type of trust that I share with my husband.
I read somewhere that 10 percent of households have a child that is fathered by someone other than the husband.
What does it really matter... I mean in the big grand scheme of life????
I think the issue is that the man may be cheated out of having his genetic line continue, if a child is not his. If he knew, he may have an opportunity to have his own children. Women ALWAYS knows it's their child and their lineage. And in a divorce, resources go to support a child not his, which may prevent him from having the resources to later have a child of his own.
If a man chooses to support a child not his own, or goes the adoption route, he is making a choice to do so. Denying him the right to choose is a real issue. How is this any different than forcing a woman to have a child that she doesn't want by a man she doesn't want? It's denying her the choice, and it's not acceptable to do that.
So should we make women take a mandatory pregnancy test once a month and make that knowledge publicly accessible so that she can't get away with anything? How about we all wear chastity belts that are controlled by the government - so anytime anyone wants to engage in any kind of sexual activity, it has to be requested and reported and a government agent will come out and unlock the chastity belt.
People are responsible for their own personal lives.
See, that's the responsibility. People take responsibility in their own hands. Nobody in here ever questioned why would a woman have the access to pregnancy tests in her privacy and nobody ever questions if the woman should notify her boyfriend immediately. That's her own right.
But paternity testing is far more profound with future consequences of potential fraud than the pregnancy is in general. Yet it's problematic. Woman will deliver the child if she wants, abort it if she doesn't want it. She'll do it in secrecy if she thinks her boyfriend may leave her for it. A man should take responsibility for himself as well.
I never said anyone should wear or not wear chastity belts. Paternity testing should be mandatory and there is a list of reasons why. Medieval era should have been long gone.
I also wanted to address your arguments given here:
Quote:
As for mandatory testing - I've said this before and I'll say it again -
1. Who is going to pay for it? I highly doubt insurance companies are going to be willing to foot the bill.
2. The hospital's purpose is to care for the health of it's patients - not the relationship well being of it's patients. Hospitals do not want to get involved in personal matters - those are our responsibility.
3. There are many single mothers or father's who aren't present for the birth of the children - would they be exempt? If they are - then people could just leave the father off the birth certificate in the first place. What are you going to do - chase down every possible match and force him to give a DNA swab? What if it was a one night stand and she doesn't know who the father is? What if it was a sperm donor?
4. Many men won't WANT to give a sample of their DNA and will see it as a violation of their rights.
Your objections have simple answers: 1. there are dozens of routine tests done upon the child that cost as many or even more. Paternity would be much cheaper if it was obligatory on birth and costs of pregnancy are measured in dozens od thousands of dollars - most of if is generally covered by insurance or even taxpayers. Large number of court disputes and paternity testings in fact DO outweigh those expenses already. 2. Hospital's main purpose is to take care of patients. That's right. This includes ensuring that they can have valuable family history data obtained by knowing who the father is, or to eliminate wrong father. And you are wrong, hospitals are obliged BY LAW to involve and lie to help the mother in hiding the truth. They are obliged to lie about a numebr of illnesses and data and conceal it from father, while notifying the mother and making a deal how to go through the deception. 3. Many single mothers have their fathers named on birth certificate after a while. A common number is around 10% of children have no father on birth certificate within a limit of 30 days of birth, but most will start the procedure to place any father on the birthlist - many will place false "fathers" as young as 5 y/o boys so that the government cannot trace them, while the mother can obtain the government's benefits that condition the naming of the father. Those young boys will be in for a serious shock when they enter legal age and when they get "discovered" by the government. Those cases actually happened numerous times and the main reason why it happens is that legislation is altered so that mothers can name alleged father and if he isn't tracked within a legal limit his name is still placed on birth certificate without him even knowing it. Any child that could track their true biological father has the right to know it. This applies for both biological fathers and mothers. It's not just mental well-being but also for their health reasons and potential medical treatments in the future. 4. men WILL give samples of their DNA. In fact, lots of men are forced to do it even today. Even petty crimes can be enough now to have the government take your DNA. Rapists and murderers had it earlier as well. Once again, recent order by supreme court, which is considered as another step towards establishing federal/state database(s) with DNA samples: Routine DNA Testing After Arrest Upheld by Top U.S. Court - Bloomberg
This will help track future criminals much faster before they repeat their serious crimes. This could mean that children will have their DNA samples taken for the purpose just like adults would give their fingerprint(s) to be placed in the federal database. A routine sampling upon their birth is enough to both check paternity and save their DNA sample in a federal database for future uses in various potentially beneficial things.
Men have a choice - they can choose not to have sex. They can choose to get a paternity test. My point is that the government should not be involved in our personal affairs. There are people who screw things up for everyone else - but we are still in charge of our personal lives.
No - if I say that we trust each other - and people keep saying that it's impossible to trust someone or that I shouldn't or he shouldn't - its not that my point wasn't good. It's that not everyone can relate to the type of trust that I share with my husband.
When did I ever say its impossible to trust? I even admitted that I trust people. And yes if your point can be thrown back at you then it wasn't a good point. If you can throw my points back at me then my point wasn't good.
There just ought to be a law mandating paternity tests during pregnancy period.
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Who has to know anything?