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While I don't think it's selfish to want to avoid drama that will sometimes come with dating a person who already has kids, I do think people here are assuming too much right away. It's one thing if they'd like to admit they'd just be plain jealous every time their new bf/gf called their ex to ask when they can pick the kid up from their house or something. But "too much drama"? What if their ex has already moved on too? Married with children in a world of his/her own? They don't all stay single, just pining for their ex for the rest of their lives.
Again, we can't fault people for their preferences or an admission of a jealous/insecure nature. But they shouldn't just assume that a person with kids is automatically gonna be more drama than any other person.
I believe your missing the whole point. I don't believe the OP is suggesting that children are baggage, but...it is true, a lot of times, that with children from a broken home, comes baggage, meaning, they're parents...or lets say you marry someone, you have children from a previous marriage, and the person you marry has problems...doesn't like your children, or the children's father...and he makes life miserable for everyone involved.
That is what we're discussing, not that children are baggage, or women with children are baggage...
I'll enlighten you all a bit. Mixed families are not easy, it requires work and dedication on everyone's part. I've found that it pays to be candid and open about your feelings towards one another, while at the same time you and SO works on your relationship together.
It's my belief what happens is the parent gets all wrapped up in the new relationship that ther child feels resentment...and who wouldn't? Just remember to nuture that relationship as well, include everyone in outings and movie night occasionally.
It hasn't been easy for us, but...we count ourselves successful.
And my bonus-children are not and never have been "baggage"...but their birth mother is. **sigh**
How many selfish people gattering together!children are baggages???
Many womans are in that situation because of some some ignorant who dummped them,after using them.
What a primitive thinking..but I bet the most of those who answer NO that they have a dog or a cat and sniffing that animal all day long in its buttyeah that is more ''valuable''then heaving a girlfriend or a wife with a kid from a previous relationship.
For the singles mothers out there:if the guy is really into you and have interest,will accept you with you're own flesh and blood no matter what and will not make any differences!!
Nothing wrong with being selfish as long as you acknowledge it. I acknowledge I am too selfish to be a parent. I want to enjoy this short life by living as much as possible and seeing as much as I can. I do not want the responsibility or financial burden of a child. I also recognize that I never want to be second in my significant others life. Unfortunately not enough people are smart enough or disciplined enough to recognize this in themselves. They have a baby and end up neglecting it. So many people want kids, but don't want to take care of them. In some scenarios, you see a family where they neglect one child as it gets older, then go have another child! Meanwhile the older one is treated like garbage, because he or she isn't a cute newborn. I'll also add this dynamic. I am 1 of 3 (techinically 4, oldest died at birth), and all 3 of us were abandoned. My father got custody of us thinking it would bring my mother back. When she didn't come back, we got dumped on friends of the family or relatives. My parents were absentee starting at age 9. I learned to cook my own food at age 12. My father wouldn't even spend money on me to get me a haircut, so he cut it himself....very very badly. Yet he was buying jewelry and loaning money to his girlfriends. There's nothing wrong with those of us who don't want to parent someone else's kid.
For the record, I do not have any pets, even though I love cats.
How many selfish people gattering together!children are baggages???
Many womans are in that situation because of some some ignorant who dummped them,after using them.
What a primitive thinking..but I bet the most of those who answer NO that they have a dog or a cat and sniffing that animal all day long in its buttyeah that is more ''valuable''then heaving a girlfriend or a wife with a kid from a previous relationship.
For the singles mothers out there:if the guy is really into you and have interest,will accept you with you're own flesh and blood no matter what and will not make any differences!!
Everybody is selfish to a certain degree. It's called being human.
Guys who want to settle down, are attracted to women with kids. I have one son who hates kids, one son who likes little kids. He broke up with a woman recently, and was sad, because he really liked her little boy.
While I hear so much on here about you guys won't date single mothers -- every one of my girlfriends with children have gotten married; usually to men who do not have children.
While I hear so much on here about you guys won't date single mothers -- every one of my girlfriends with children have gotten married; usually to men who do not have children.
Just a question, I recently talked to an old crush of mine are Facebook, I don't have any feelings for her, but she is 20 years old and has a child. Her boyfriend hasn't been heard from since they had an argument. I thought it would be interesting to ask, would you date someone you were interested in even if they have a child? What would you do? Would you treat them any differently?
The odds are lower, depends on the over all package and my feelings toward the two as i sum them into one.
Also if i had kids, the chances of me entering something like this is greater...but not with a 20 yr old female. the person needs to have their life together and not trying to figure out who they are.
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yeah that is more ''valuable''then heaving a girlfriend or a wife with a kid from a previous relationship.
