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...i know he likes me a lot because I can feel it)...
So the question is, what to do? Do I have to ask him if he already sees me as his gf or not yet?
And am I always the one who will have to initiate a conversation about sentimental stuff?
Maybe you should just skip the talking and get on with the relationship. Frankly, I am surprised you've dated ANY guys that like to talk about their feelings. I never did. I have a tough time getting my DH to tell me what he THINKS -- feelings? I wouldn't even have thought to ask. (We've been together since '86.)
For that matter, I don't spend a lot of time talking about my feelings. What's the point? You feel. Good for you, most people do feel something. It's what you do that matters.
Put on your big girl pants. If the guy comes around repeatedly and you enjoy each other's company, go with it. If you don't, go elsewhere.
Im not trying to change him. Id just appreciate it if SOMETIMES he could be a bit more open...
Well, here ya go. With the all-caps, your frustration shows. Already. Honey. It will not get any better as time goes on. In fact, he will get more "comfortable" with the relationship and then he won't even be trying to "open up" the minimal amount he is now.
I'm sure he's not a bad person, that's not what I'm saying -- but he is what he is; he's outright telling you so.
You don't want to feel bitter, lonely, like you're constantly trying, like you're unwanted. It's a horrible place to be, and it's a place a non-affectionate person can easily put an affectionate person in, not on purpose but just by his/her very nature.
It's a horrible way to live. I'd consider how much I invested emotionally in this man.
Maybe you should just skip the talking and get on with the relationship. Frankly, I am surprised you've dated ANY guys that like to talk about their feelings. I never did. I have a tough time getting my DH to tell me what he THINKS -- feelings? I wouldn't even have thought to ask. (We've been together since '86.)
I have. I think they're out there. But that's just my experience.
I have. I think they're out there. But that's just my experience.
Talk is cheap. I had one who was writing me long "love" notes (pretty much the lenght of a short letter) EVERY morning. I don't exaggerate at all. EVERY morning! However, some of his actions spelled out clearly "F you"! Thanks, but no thanks.
I agree with SierraAZ. Talk is cheap. Actions are louder than words.
His actions clearly shows that he really likes me. I didnt say that i want him to tell me how he feels about me 24/7, but im sure that he can do a little effort sometimes if he really likes me. Communication is important and i think that reminding sometimes your beloved one that you love him/her is important.
I agree with SierraAZ. Talk is cheap. Actions are louder than words.
His actions clearly shows that he really likes me. I didnt say that i want him to tell me how he feels about me 24/7, but im sure that he can do a little effort sometimes if he really likes me. Communication is important and i think that reminding sometimes your beloved one that you love him/her is important.
You need a man who can balance his words with his actions.
Although this was put in what I consider a fairly harsh way, I have to pretty much agree with the basic idea, OP. It won't get better from here. It just won't. Please don't try. He may be a great guy but if initiating sentiment is important to you, this will only get to be more of a strain on your relationship, not less.
Please look for someone who can give you what you want and need.
I don't see where that was 'harsh' in the least bit. But, um, Okay.
Talk is cheap. I had one who was writing me long "love" notes (pretty much the lenght of a short letter) EVERY morning. I don't exaggerate at all. EVERY morning! However, some of his actions spelled out clearly "F you"! Thanks, but no thanks.
Well, Sierra, that's a little over the top. A lot over the top, actually. Anybody would be running...or I hope most people would be running at a big red flag whipping in the breeze like that.
I have definitely been with men who could talk about their feelings...not like a once a week powow or anything, and certainly not once a day (yikes), but I don't believe the OP's boyfriend's level of verbally expressing intimacy (or non-level of it) is the most she can ever get.
There are all kinds of people in the world. The OP's boyfriend should find a woman who isn't too into "talking about it," and the OP should find someone who will be expressive at least once in a while.
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