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You guys have been on less than 10 dates? Seems like you're jumping the gun a little bit especially when you keep making references to love. You are not in love after less than 10 dates...
Maybe he just needs to know you a little better before you start having deep conversations about your relationship. If in 20 more dates the guy is closed off and can't communicate his feelings, then you may have a problem. And if he truly is someone that doesn't like to talk about his feelings or express his emotions, then trust me...he won't change and you will be unhappy in the long run.
Last edited by strawberrykiki; 04-18-2012 at 10:11 AM..
Reason: typos
What you see is what you get. He's not the type to talk about feelings. You said so many other things were great about him and the relationship.... he's not perfect but things seem good between you two.
IMO, showing affection and constantly "talking" about feelings are two entirely different animals. I'm very affectionate, but I'm not big on "talking" about feelings myself, so maybe I don't quite understand it.
Although I don't like to compare the two, my ex-husband was very affectionate and always said I love you, but beyond that, certainly didn't live his daily life like he truly gave a dang about me. My SO is not verbal about things, and at first I found it frustrating, but after almost a year and a half, I've come to appreciate that he shows love, without having to tell me he loves me. He's said it maybe twice, although he's texted it several times. But when I'm with him, the way he conducts himself, the way he treats me, everything shows his love toward me and our relationship. It's been a huge adjustment for me but I realized that words are truly just words that mean nothing if actions don't back it up.
Some people will say that you should never part without saying "I love you", just in case you never see the person again. I want to be a person who lives my life in a way that people know how I feel about them instead of just those three words. My father passed away last year and I don't think he ever actually said those types of words to me, but I know without a doubt how he felt about me, and me about him.
Look for the actions, not the words. If there are no actions, then you have a real problem, IMO.
Although I don't like to compare the two, my ex-husband was very affectionate and always said I love you, but beyond that, certainly didn't live his daily life like he truly gave a dang about me. My SO is not verbal about things, and at first I found it frustrating, but after almost a year and a half, I've come to appreciate that he shows love, without having to tell me he loves me. He's said it maybe twice, although he's texted it several times. But when I'm with him, the way he conducts himself, the way he treats me, everything shows his love toward me and our relationship. It's been a huge adjustment for me but I realized that words are truly just words that mean nothing if actions don't back it up.
I'm also used to verbal expressions and ideally would like both, but if I have to choose between the two, I'll take actions any day.
Without the expression of love via a partners actions doesn't love becomes an abstract concept? I'm not knocking the verbal aspect and understand that people have different needs or abilities to express their love in that way but to me words alone = no love at all.
Words alone mean nothing if he is hurting you or showing you how little he cares. It takes action AND words. But if he never has said " I love you", then he just doesn't really feel it, or else he would want to say it without any prodding, at least once. However, the OP has only had a few dates with him and is not even hanging around with him every day as couples do when they reach a new level. I would suggest to the OP to wait until the relationship matures to see how he really is like, instead of supposing he is non verbal.
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