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Provocative question and now that I'm a student nurse and doing clinicals in hospitals with patients with HIV and other STIs, I've been thinking about a lot of these things and I don't have an answer. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be with someone with an STI because I want to be as vulnerable and open and connected to my partner as possible (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and my hope is that we will have both had a history of monogamy and no IV drug use, so as to minimize that chance of contracting an STI.
Putting myself in the position of a person with an STI, if I had found out I had contracted something on the job while caring for a patient with the illness, and I had a partner already and I tell him, I would hope that he'd be able to love me despite the illness and would be willing to be with me. Having it and not passing it to others is a HUGE responsibility that rests mostly on the hands of that person that has it and I just don't know. Kudos to those who are able to handle that responsibility and to the people who are supporting them.
I have to say that while I have sympathy for those with incurable STD's or some other terminal disease, I think it incredibly selfish on their part to want to marry a completely healthy person unless they something substantial to leave to them in their will.
It's one thing to want some companionship, but completely different to want a healthy person (who will live many years longer than them) to fall in love with them. And what are they really offering their healthy spouse? Because at the end of the sick person's life, their healthy spouse will have to be their caretaker and have to deal with a lot of ugliness as the disease takes its toll, and finally to have their heart broken and the solitude when they die. I just don't think it fair for someone with an incurable STD or a terminal illness or cancer to actively seek the romantic companionship of a completely healthy person.
If a completely healthy person chooses to pursue a relationship with a known sick person, then that's fine. But the other way around or the sick person hiding their illness during the courtship process is totally wrong imo.
Loads of men are unknowing carriers of HPV - the virus some strains of which cause genital warts, and, in some cases, cervical cancer when passed on to women. It is an STD that is not curable, and as common in men as in women, but poses far fewer heath risks to men and is typically asymptomatic.
I have to say that while I have sympathy for those with incurable STD's or some other terminal disease, I think it incredibly selfish on their part to want to marry a completely healthy person unless they something substantial to leave to them in their will.
It's one thing to want some companionship, but completely different to want a healthy person (who will live many years longer than them) to fall in love with them. And what are they really offering their healthy spouse? Because at the end of the sick person's life, their healthy spouse will have to be their caretaker and have to deal with a lot of ugliness as the disease takes its toll, and finally to have their heart broken and the solitude when they die. I just don't think it fair for someone with an incurable STD or a terminal illness or cancer to actively seek the romantic companionship of a completely healthy person.
If a completely healthy person chooses to pursue a relationship with a known sick person, then that's fine. But the other way around or the sick person hiding their illness during the courtship process is totally wrong imo.
Not all STDs are terminal...in fact, not many of them are especially with advances in medical technologies.
Why shouldn't someone with an illness actively seek a partner? I have a genetic disorder that may cut some years off of my life and I'll NEVER be healthy...I was born with this disorder so should I be single my entire life? I'm very open and honest about it and yes, I've been 'dumped' several times when people found out and that's fine. I'm not going to quit searching for a partner because I happened to have been dealt some bad luck in my life.
Not all STDs are terminal...in fact, not many of them are especially with advances in medical technologies.
Why shouldn't someone with an illness actively seek a partner? I have a genetic disorder that may cut some years off of my life and I'll NEVER be healthy...I was born with this disorder so should I be single my entire life? I'm very open and honest about it and yes, I've been 'dumped' several times when people found out and that's fine. I'm not going to quit searching for a partner because I happened to have been dealt some bad luck in my life.
I think that's a bit different. STD's are usually contagious. That's a tough pill to swallow.
If I didn't know a guy and found out before we got close, I would pass. If my dh happened to pick up HIV in the lab I would obviously deal with it. We had a scare last year and it aged me a few years.
I think that's a bit different. STD's are usually contagious. That's a tough pill to swallow.
That's how I interpreted the thread question.
I'm 53 and have no wish to get herpes, hep C or AIDS. And that is why I would not date and marry a man with any of those conditions. I'd rather be single. Otherwise, I have no problems being platonic friends with anyone with medical problems, as long as we got along and had common interests.
I am really fine with being single, I don't need a man in my life to complete me And yes, I enjoy sex, but it also wouldn't bother me to go without. I just have a lot of other things that I enjoy doing. I also like being alone and hanging out with my dogs. So that is why I see no need to compromise and be married to a man with an incurable STD.
I guess on this one we are. I don't know if folk are really considering the consequences and lifestyle changes of having HIV.
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