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And blaming someone with HIV for poor choices or questionable morals is just so... '80s. Go ahead and look down on promiscuous people, but anyone who has or has ever had unprotected sex with anyone who was not a virgin at the time is a potential HIV+ person.
This is true. No doubt many who test negative are lucky.
Why isn't this question directed towards men? Why weren't the men being included in this poll? And if anything, women tend to be much for forgiving about a romantic partner's physical flaws than the men.
Otherwise, everyone understands that part of being in love is having a physical and sexual attraction towards their mate. And if that attraction isn't there, then the relationship isn't going to go beyond a platonic (non-sexual) one. So of course, if a potential suitor has a major physical flaw, such as being morbidly obese or having an incurable sexual transmitted disease, then right away, on even a subconscious level, that suitor's advances will most likely fail.
Even someone with a curable STD is seen as not as attractive a potential mate as a person without... and in part because no one wants to marry a person who has had many sexual partners in their life, even a reformed Don Juan type is not as attractive a mate as someone who has had only a few serious gfs and no one night stands.
Lastly, at least in the beginning with AIDS, the vast majority of people with that disease were those who wh*red it up with many partners and didn't use condoms and other precautions. And the fact is, the more sexual partners anyone has, the more likely they will get an STD as some point in their lives. Sure, there are some who were innocent in getting an STD, but those people are in the minority.
Why isn't this question directed towards men? Why weren't the men being included in this poll?
A few men answered, or implicitly answered. The gist is that they would deal with a non-lethal and inconvenient issue like Herpes and HPV (which 40% of the population carries asymptomatically, since it's spread by skin to skin contact), but NOT with HIV and Hep-C.
Thus far, I love the typical "bleeding heart" answers on this forum.
not hardly, I am 46 years old and contracted this when I was 18 years old. I have been married for 9 years and have not once cheated on her. So let me say this, all you have to do to get herpes is have sex, thats it, just have sex just like you have done many times. Millions of people have this HSV and the look just like anyone else on here! So don't judge what you don't know, you could get it the next time you have sex, with or without a condom.
I would also argue marrying/being with someone that cheats on you is poor judgement in picking a mate. There's a lot of that going around.
This is the most ignorant statement I've ever read on here.
I can see if you marry someone knowing they have a history of cheating however, you cannot possibly believe that you can predict your spouse will or will not cheat on you after years and years of marriage.
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Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
That doesn't make sense. People do change throughout their lives you know.
Here we go,blaming the victim.
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Originally Posted by cpg35223
That doesn't make the least bit of sense. I've known people who cheated who were the last people on earth you'd suspect. In fact, I'll make the statement right now that anyone under the right circumstances with the right person is susceptible to it.
Agree with both of you!
With that said, I would not consider being with a man who had an incurable STD (with the exception of HPV perhaps).
Incurable...do you mean HIV? Then yes, I would, without fear. The stigma HIV+ people face is ridiculous and there is no need for it in 2012.
Yes, there is.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
You can protect against infection with condoms,...
No, you cannot, and then there are those like me who cannot use condoms.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
.. and if the person is taking ARVs there is virtually zero chance of transmission.
Virtually? Gosh, I feel so much better now.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
People with HIV have every right to experience sex, love and commitment and even have children. Let's fight the ignorance.
They can experience sex with other people who are infected.
If government had done the logical, rational, reasonable thing, and quarantined people with HIV when if first arose, the US wouldn't be in this mess.
Instead, people like you think they have a right to spread the disease to others, and even that wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that you take my money and waste it on research and waste it it on health care for STDs.
If it were up to me, there would be real bona fide genuine health insurance, and people like me could afford it, because we wouldn't be paying for other people's stupidity. Why? Because you would have to get an STD Rider and pay extra for that, just like people who live in flood zones have to get a Flood Rider and pay more for insurance than people who are not at risk to floods.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
So there is no reason to cruelly dump your partner when it is discovered that they are infected.
Yes, there is. We can tattoo a big red letter "A" on their foreheads, but in lieu of that, I'll settle for a name tag that says, "Hello, I'm Amy and I am HIV+"
Life is difficult and complicated enough. There is no need to complicate further by voluntarily adding incurable diseases into the mix.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
I don't see anyone taking that attitude. But I see it as no different than dating someone with any chronic illness.
Uh, wut? I can have unprotected sex 24/7 and I'll never get epilepsy, or heart disease, or high cholesterol or fibromyalgia, or that damn Greek Arthritis.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
I dated a guy with Marfan's, and the life expectancy is not great with that.
So? You want a national holiday in your honor or something?
You don't catch Marfan's having sex.
The fact that a...how did you put it?....."professional" like yourself cannot make the distinction is quite frightening indeed.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
Many people fight diabetes with insulin daily. I dated that guy too. Neither led to marriage for reasons far removed from health.
You don't get diabetes from sex.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
And blaming someone with HIV for poor choices or questionable morals is just so... '80s.
Yeah, right. Good people of high moral character patronize prostitutes, stick needles in their arms that others have used, hang out in the bathrooms at the parks to perform homosexual acts for money, use other drugs, engage in promiscuous behavior.
Sure, honor, it's just so '80s.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
Go ahead and look down on promiscuous people...
I do, and I enjoy doing that. They are to be kept at arms length and not to be trusted, because they lie and have no honor, and probably worse than that is they are selfish and egotistical, hell-bent on satisfying all infantile desires regardless of the cost or harm to others.
Maybe I should be more promiscuous.
Hurting other people (especially women) really sounds like a barrel full of laughs. Where do I sign up? Is there a DVD instructional video for that?
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Originally Posted by zentropa
..., but anyone who has or has ever had unprotected sex with anyone who was not a virgin at the time is a potential HIV+ person.
I've never had protected sex, and never had an STD, but then I actually cared about the women I slept with and knew them quite well.
Stigmatizing...
Mircea
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
Not all STDs are terminal...in fact, not many of them are especially with advances in medical technologies.
Well, gosh, that makes me feel so much better, too. I can't wait to pay $100s each month to take a semi-truck full of pills every day, and then deal with the myriad side effects.
Oh, wait, what am I saying? Thanks to the Politically Correct Crowd, everyone else will be buying my medication for me. And why shouldn't they? They can cancel their cable and cell-phone bills to fork over the money to buy my meds.
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
Why shouldn't someone with an illness actively seek a partner?
They should. You can set up a web-site called "stdlove.com" and have people use it for match-making:
SWF w/Herpes Simplex 30 seeks SM with same.
Interests & Hobbies: Taking my medication; finding suckers to pay for my medication so I don't have to waste my money on it and I can buy luxury items I don't really need while other people do without because the government is taking their money to buy my medication for me; acquiring stock in condom manufacturers; dealing with the weird side-effects of the medication; using a Ouija Board to determine when my next out-break will occur.
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
I have a genetic disorder that may cut some years off of my life and I'll NEVER be healthy...I was born with this disorder so should I be single my entire life?
Um, you have a genetic disorder, not communicable sexually transmitted disease.
Terminally...
Mircea
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Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
I'm not sure. Crap happens. Having an STD can happen to anyone...
No, it cannot, unless you're lumping every person into the same big box. There are two groups of people here:
1] The innocent victims: their lives were turned upside down by tainted blood supplies or medical equipment, or by those they trusted, like their spouses.
2] The malefactors: Those who engage in actions that are illegal, immoral or unethical, such as adulterous affairs, homosexual activity, prostitution or drug use and were the cause of their own self-undoing.
Absolutely certain...
Mircea
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
In fact, I'll make the statement right now that anyone under the right circumstances with the right person is susceptible to it.
No, you cannot, and then there are those like me who cannot use condoms.
Virtually? Gosh, I feel so much better now.
They can experience sex with other people who are infected.
If government had done the logical, rational, reasonable thing, and quarantined people with HIV when if first arose, the US wouldn't be in this mess.
Instead, people like you think they have a right to spread the disease to others, and even that wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that you take my money and waste it on research and waste it it on health care for STDs.
If it were up to me, there would be real bona fide genuine health insurance, and people like me could afford it, because we wouldn't be paying for other people's stupidity. Why? Because you would have to get an STD Rider and pay extra for that, just like people who live in flood zones have to get a Flood Rider and pay more for insurance than people who are not at risk to floods.
Yes, there is. We can tattoo a big red letter "A" on their foreheads, but in lieu of that, I'll settle for a name tag that says, "Hello, I'm Amy and I am HIV+"
Life is difficult and complicated enough. There is no need to complicate further by voluntarily adding incurable diseases into the mix.
Uh, wut? I can have unprotected sex 24/7 and I'll never get epilepsy, or heart disease, or high cholesterol or fibromyalgia, or that damn Greek Arthritis.
So? You want a national holiday in your honor or something?
You don't catch Marfan's having sex.
The fact that a...how did you put it?....."professional" like yourself cannot make the distinction is quite frightening indeed.
You don't get diabetes from sex.
Yeah, right. Good people of high moral character patronize prostitutes, stick needles in their arms that others have used, hang out in the bathrooms at the parks to perform homosexual acts for money, use other drugs, engage in promiscuous behavior.
Sure, honor, it's just so '80s.
I do, and I enjoy doing that. They are to be kept at arms length and not to be trusted, because they lie and have no honor, and probably worse than that is they are selfish and egotistical, hell-bent on satisfying all infantile desires regardless of the cost or harm to others.
Maybe I should be more promiscuous.
Hurting other people (especially women) really sounds like a barrel full of laughs. Where do I sign up? Is there a DVD instructional video for that?
I've never had protected sex, and never had an STD, but then I actually cared about the women I slept with and knew them quite well.
Stigmatizing...
Mircea
Well, gosh, that makes me feel so much better, too. I can't wait to pay $100s each month to take a semi-truck full of pills every day, and then deal with the myriad side effects.
Oh, wait, what am I saying? Thanks to the Politically Correct Crowd, everyone else will be buying my medication for me. And why shouldn't they? They can cancel their cable and cell-phone bills to fork over the money to buy my meds.
They should. You can set up a web-site called "stdlove.com" and have people use it for match-making:
SWF w/Herpes Simplex 30 seeks SM with same.
Interests & Hobbies: Taking my medication; finding suckers to pay for my medication so I don't have to waste my money on it and I can buy luxury items I don't really need while other people do without because the government is taking their money to buy my medication for me; acquiring stock in condom manufacturers; dealing with the weird side-effects of the medication; using a Ouija Board to determine when my next out-break will occur.
Um, you have a genetic disorder, not communicable sexually transmitted disease.
Terminally...
Mircea
No, it cannot, unless you're lumping every person into the same big box. There are two groups of people here:
1] The innocent victims: their lives were turned upside down by tainted blood supplies or medical equipment, or by those they trusted, like their spouses.
2] The malefactors: Those who engage in actions that are illegal, immoral or unethical, such as adulterous affairs, homosexual activity, prostitution or drug use and were the cause of their own self-undoing.
Absolutely certain...
Mircea
I never did, and never would.
Possessing self-discipline...
Mircea
You can go back to the P and C forums now.
In any event,a lot of people in the early days of Aids were children and hemophiliacs. You suggest we quarantine children?
One of the few things I loved about Michael Jackson was the way he treated Ryan White.
You do make one good point..
Why don't people who have the Std date others who have them too?
I'm sure that would cement any realtionship,both going through the same thing.
Where can I find men with incurable Std's anyway?(I don't have any,but I want to be loved so bad I will give it a shot. Beggars can't be chosers)
Do you guys think they would be more loyal than someone who doesn't have one?
so heres what i read almost universally...nobody, i mean NOBODY who believes they are free of stds (which most every man is carrying some form of HPV) and to FIND OUT if he carries high risk types or low risk types is IMPOSSIBLE, there are NO STANDARD TESTS. so unless every in america undergoes a clinical trial to swab their mouths, genitals, etc...and gets their paperwork, then refrains from sex with anyone until they find a female with the same...chances are, someone has HPV. and Im talking either someone gets a wart or gets an abnormal pap OR in 10-15yrs...ets squamous carcinoma in their throat, mouth, inside their nose, rectum, vulva, penis, etc. CERVICAL cancer is just a drop in the bucket of the cancers HPV cause....studies are finding HPV in LUNG CANCER...so wake up people. i can understand not wanting an std. nobody does. do you think the 1 in 5 americans who have an std said 'oh, i dont care if i get an std'. or 'let me randomly sleep with strangers and use no protection' no, thats not how most stds are spread. most are spread by people who are AFRAID to tell their dating partners they have them...because just read these blogs...everyone would RUN. so, they dont say anything. then, if and when you become sexually active...and lo and behold, YOU end up with an std...they say 'i didnt know i had it!' and you say 'i dont believe you, and because you lied, im leaving you'.
all very well....but now what do you THINK is going to happen?
do you think ANYONE WILL CARE that you left someone who lied to you and gave you an std?
do you think people will feel empathy and overlook your disease ? no they wont.
you will not be cast into the pool of rejects. if your honest about your disease, you'll be alone.
so either you hide the truth, then play the 'i had no idea i had a disease' card and show your partner the 1000's of articles that back up this defense. 'most people dont know they have an std...they show no symptoms, etc' well, if you still dont buy it, you can hire an attorney and sue your partner...good luck. they will just say they told you they had it. a good lawyer will dissect your history and if youve ever slept with anyone else, will pin it on that. so, best bet folks...is to abstain from all sex with anyone you havent been married to for your whole life. if you HAVE to have sex again, both get tested...then, wear condoms and use dental dams and pray. good luck, world!
I have a relative with HIV and it's no cake walk for her. I would not be inclined to date someone with any STD, because I don't want to suffer from such poor health outcomes. I have 0 STDs and that's how I'd like to remain.
In all honesty, people with HIV and other STDs should find comfort dating each other. I would think that they would prefer this, since the other person would be able to relate more to their illness and associated problems.
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Why weren't the men being included in this poll? And if anything, women tend to be much for forgiving about a romantic partner's physical flaws than the men.
this is why .....
