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I think it really depends on the person and the lifestyle they have lived. I know people who have Herpes or HIV and they acquired it because they had unprotected sex with numerous partners, so they led a very dangerous lifestyle. Since many of them were actually in their late 20s/30s/40s when they contracted the diseases, I don't think they are the type of person that I would settle down.
On the other hand, I have known of women who acquired Herpes because they were raped, or some of those individuals who have HIV because of blood transfusions (back before proper precautions were put in place), or in other words, they acquired the disease through some other means other than risky activity then I would probably date or marry them.
I have a 90 year old + relative who has Herpes and has lived with it for the last 60-70 years. They are incredibly healthy and none of their children were affected by it.
I would not date someone with an STD, incurable or not. No way I would marry someone with one, even if I wanted to get married in the first place. The question of sexual health will come up while dating LONG before we have sex, any STDs, incurable or treatable, and sex isn't happening at all.
Sorry,I was talking about spem washing if the man was hiv positive and wanted to get his Hiv negative partner pregnant. They wash the sprem so it is free of the virus and inseminate the woman.
I was looking on a Std site for singles to date,and the people don't look any different than the general population.
Do you all think a guy with an incurable Std would lower his standards?
Sorry,I was talking about spem washing if the man was hiv positive and wanted to get his Hiv negative partner pregnant. They wash the sprem so it is free of the virus and inseminate the woman.
I was looking on a Std site for singles to date,and the people don't look any different than the general population.
Do you all think a guy with an incurable Std would lower his standards?
Oh I was talking about the knowing the guy won't cheat thing.
I don't think that's the case (that he'd lower his standards.). But when I think of it this way, if you're willing to be with him, what makes you think others won't?
That's how it reads to me. Having to take drugs alone on a consistent basis is a huge thing and way too many people, imo, think nothing of it. It seems to be glossed over as well as the financial costs. The constant doctor visits, blood tests, drugs, and co-pays will no doubt be a financial strain. The idea of sperm washing as if it's no big deal. It costs.
I'm a pragmatist and take as much as possible into account. I also cared for my twin, along with my mother, who had a chronic illness for his last 20 years. Hospitals, pills, the suffering day in and day out needs to be seriously considered. People divorce for far less than those kinds of massive responsibilities.
You have more confidence in pharmaceuticals that I do, which I suppose is par for the course. If you or your spouse have HIV, I don't want to sound heartless. I just think it's a very big deal. It will trap a spouse in so many ways. What if ten years down the road the marriage doesn't work out. What if he turns out to be a jerk, a cheat, whatever, but you're the one with the good job since he gets ill. You're the one that provides the good health insurance to make sure he gets the best of care. You can't take that away from someone. Divorce really can't be an option.
And I would agree with that. I really took issue, however, with one poster who dismissed such misgivings as nothing more than ignorance.
If you are talking about me, then you need to reread my post because I believe you misunderstood. I encouraged readers to fight the ignorance about HIV. It is not a death sentence. You can protect yourself from infection in a serodiscordant relationship. You can safely have children. Treatment is one pill a day of a cheap generic drug.
Of course whether you want to assume the risk is up to you. But I hate to see people coming to conclusions based on outdated knowledge. People living with HIV are still stigmatized because people are still carrying around the fear of 1992 in 2012. That is all I was saying. It's my subject and I am pretty engaged.
I do understand that dating someone with HIV is a bridge too far for some people though. Not me, not everyone.
If you are talking about me, then you need to reread my post because I believe you misunderstood. I encouraged readers to fight the ignorance about HIV. It is not a death sentence. You can protect yourself from infection in a serodiscordant relationship. You can safely have children. Treatment is one pill a day of a cheap generic drug.
Of course whether you want to assume the risk is up to you. But I hate to see people coming to conclusions based on outdated knowledge. People living with HIV are still stigmatized because people are still carrying around the fear of 1992 in 2012. That is all I was saying. It's my subject and I am pretty engaged.
I do understand that dating someone with HIV is a bridge too far for some people though. Not me, not everyone.
This conversation is about dating someone with HIV, not arm's length casual encounters. I don't see where the ignorance is coming into play. People are not as ignorant as you might think.
If you are talking about me, then you need to reread my post because I believe you misunderstood. I encouraged readers to fight the ignorance about HIV. It is not a death sentence. You can protect yourself from infection in a serodiscordant relationship. You can safely have children. Treatment is one pill a day of a cheap generic drug.
Of course whether you want to assume the risk is up to you. But I hate to see people coming to conclusions based on outdated knowledge. People living with HIV are still stigmatized because people are still carrying around the fear of 1992 in 2012. That is all I was saying. It's my subject and I am pretty engaged.
I do understand that dating someone with HIV is a bridge too far for some people though. Not me, not everyone.
Yes, I did misinterpret your post, and I apologize for that. I saw the words 'stigma' and 'ignorance' batted around and took offense. I think if one makes the choice to be in a relationship with HIV it is certainly a brave one. What's more, I would offer that the requirement to use condoms for the duration of one's sex life is going to be a highly unsatisfactory choice for most people, and will make intimacy akin to walking on eggshells--no matter how much medical science has advanced. Where I likely got off track was the seeming implication that there is wrong with someone who elects to not make that choice in their personal relationships.
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