Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're right, it's not fair, but it's not my fault. I don't blame the poor girls who missed out on a father figure. But the psychological trauma that seems to go with that is not something I am equiped to deal with. I'm sure there are men out there who can handle it, but it has been my painful experience that I can't. So there it is. I'm not going to be with someone just out of sympathy.
If you're a girl and had a bad experience with a guy (or two) who had mommy issues, it would be on the top of your list of red flags, too.
I cant knock you buddy, Ive been married to both a woman who grew up with no father, and one who grew up with a stong father who was/is the rock of her whole family.
One was severely damaged, the other is not.
Can you guess which is which?
It may not be the girls fault, but thats not a reason for a guy to look past those issues that have a big chance of destroying the relationship.
I cant knock you buddy, Ive been married to both a woman who grew up with no father, and one who grew up with a stong father who was/is the rock of her whole family.
One was severely damaged, the other is not.
Can you guess which is which?
It may not be the girls fault, but thats not a reason for a guy to look past those issues that have a big chance of destroying the relationship.
Again, neither one of you knows the extent to which this applies to each woman, but I guess go ahead and continue deciding you do. What do you do -- go around and ask each woman, 'excuse me did you have a father? no. okay bye.'
FYI: there are girls had fathers in the home that molested and raped them too. But I guess those women are okay since he was in their lives.
Again, neither one of you knows the extent to which this applies to each woman, but I guess go ahead and continue deciding you do.
Actually, by the time you knew the woman enough to know she has daddy issues, you would also probably know her well enough to see the effects on her personality.
This is not something you find out by walking up to a random woman and saying "Hey, you have Daddy issues?" and if she says "Yes", just passing judgement and walking away.
Actually, by the time you knew the woman enough to know she has daddy issues, you would also probably know her well enough to see the effects on her personality.
This is not something you find out by walking up to a random woman and saying "Hey, you have Daddy issues?" and if she says "Yes", just passing judgement and walking away.
But that's what that other male poster is basically saying.
Again, neither one of you knows the extent to which this applies to each woman, but I guess go ahead and continue deciding you do. What do you do -- go around and ask each woman, 'excuse me did you have a father? no. okay bye.'
FYI: there are girls had fathers in the home that molested and raped them too. But I guess those women are okay since he was in their lives.
Ok, you edited the post as I was replying.
Of course nobody goes around asking people if they had a father, at least nobody Ive ever seen. It takes some time to figure out a woman has daddy issues, however, as I previously stated, by that time, the effects of the daddy issues on the woman probably already showed. At the point is when you would exit stage left. You wouldnt just ignore that, and have her screw up the remainder of your relationship with her hangups.
As far as being molested and raped, just having a father "present" doesnt mean a person wont have daddy issues, and I dont think anyone said that in this thread.
Of course nobody goes around asking people if they had a father, at least nobody Ive ever seen. It takes some time to figure out a woman has daddy issues, however, as I previously stated, by that time, the effects of the daddy issues on the woman probably already showed. At the point is when you would exit stage left. You wouldnt just ignore that, and have her screw up the remainder of your relationship with her hangups.
As far as being molested and raped, just having a father "present" doesnt mean a person wont have daddy issues, and I dont think anyone said that in this thread.
I don't know what you're reading but Eastern Roamer in post #147, basically said just that. He excludes those women because they didn't have a father or father figure present. Period. So obviously he's assuming that just because a woman had a father he was a good one, which I said isn't the case. Again, I didn't say ignore problems with the woman, you're already assuming there's going to be problems based on this idea she didn't have a father. My point from the beginning is that he is condemning the woman for a situation the father put her in the first place place, instead of condemning the man. But hey whatever. Carry on....
I don't know what you're reading but Eastern Roamer in post #147, basically said just that. He excludes those women because they didn't have a father or father figure present. Period. So obviously he's assuming that just because a woman had a father he was a good one, which I said isn't the case. Again, I didn't say ignore problems with the woman, you're already assuming there's going to be problems based on this idea she didn't have a father. My point from the beginning is that he is condemning the woman for a situation the father put her in the first place place, instead of condemning the man. But hey whatever. Carry on....
Actually, what I said was: "I won't date a girl who has never had a healthy relationship with her father or a father figure..." Simply being present does not constitute a healthy father/daughter relationship, and molestation would obviously indicate an unhealthy one. And no, I don't just ask about this. It comes out naturally in the course of getting to know someone.
While I do not judge or "condemn" a woman for having these issues, it is something that I fear would eventually affect our relationship - because that has been my experience. It has been a painful experience that I do not wish to repeat. Maybe it's an unfair bias, but that's my baggage and I'm entitled to it.
the biggest turn off is when all she talks about is her self.
Herself, and about friends of hers that I don't know. I hate hearing mundane stories about people I've never met and it's especially annoying if she throws around their names like I do know them, as if that helps me follow along.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What do you do -- go around and ask each woman, 'excuse me did you have a father? no. okay bye.' 