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A lot of people here don't like kids. Not very shocking seeing as these same people don't care if their called selfish. It's really quite simple if you put some thought into it. If you truly love someone, who truly wants children you try to understand their feelings and try to make them your own. Otherwise it's best to end the relationship now rather than raise a child with one parent hating the very existence of their offspring breathing in this world. If you both don't want children and love each other. No problem. But ask yourself this. If your SO suddenly woke up one morning and believed with every cell in their body that they want a child with you, what would you do? Would you try to understand? Or would you throw logic in their face and leave to find someone who is like minded on the topic? Those who CLAIM they are truly in love and both share the notion that children will ruin their lives need to ask themselves these questions. People can change over time. Will you follow your logic if it happens to your SO? Finally in a relationship where both want children then more power to you. And yes the possibility of your SO changing their mine so that they suddenly don't want children is there but I believe once your child opens their eyes, the rest will be clear to any parent who ever wanted to bring a child into the world.
Basically, if your main reason for wanting to have kids is to "produce a mini me to benefit society" then honestly, you are not ready to have kids. That is not a mature or well thought out reason to have children. It's as you said a narcissistic one. Having children should NEVER be a selfish decision to make.
I got married, but never had kids and am now divorced. Though I'm a guy, I think its just too late. I always thought "I've got plenty of time", but I never expected to be divorced. Now, the women who are interested in me are in their late 40's which I don't want because I want kids. I even say on my dating profile 28-40, and yet I get 46 year old women emailing me. I sense if I don't get lucky and meet someone soon, its only going to get harder. I can only imagine how hard it is for women who are in their mid-late 40's and never got married, or got married and didn't have kids, or are divorced and the only guys they want are a little younger and in better shape than most 50 year old men. This is really tough. But I would give anything to have a family and a career, neither of which I have.
Wanting to share my best qualities with the world be having a kid makes me selfish? Maybe a little narcissistic for thinking highly of myself (not so much if you keep it all in perspective from where you derived such qualities), but I think we should all share what we've been blessed with. I know my future kid is going to bring happiness to anyone that is lucky enough to be around him/her.
Wow. Seriously? As I may have suspected, but kept to myself earlier in the thread, it appears it is you who are being selfish. If you really are as awesome as you say you are (which is highly doubtful because truly awesome people don't need to boast), there is no guarantee these traits will be passed along to your offspring no matter what you do. In fact you may have brought on some terrible monster into the world who will bring much misery to everyone else. Sure, you can do all you can to be a great parent, but you cannot 100% guarantee your child will be awesome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosophizer
I never claimed anyone was wrong or right. I'm just trying to figure out why some don't feel the need to reproduce and/or loathe the idea of having a kid to begin with. It defies evolution and Christianity. It seems like such a nihilistic endeavor.
Not explicitly but your posts reek of superiority over those who feel differently than you. Heck, as I pointed out in the very first reply, you basically say in the OP that there must be some sort of underlying "issue" at hand for someone to not want kids. In fact, it's as simple as different people want different things in life. There's nothing to "get" other than that.
For the record, I do want kids. But I understand it's a big world with plenty of other people who will feel differently than me. You'd do yourself a favor to understand that.
It still doesn't stop people I know from going to college. They work during college and more on breaks, go part-time, etc. People can say what they will, but others find continue to find ways to make things work.
Therefore people who don't want kids should be expected to breed?
No.
I got married, but never had kids and am now divorced. Though I'm a guy, I think its just too late. I always thought "I've got plenty of time", but I never expected to be divorced. Now, the women who are interested in me are in their late 40's which I don't want because I want kids. I even say on my dating profile 28-40, and yet I get 46 year old women emailing me. I sense if I don't get lucky and meet someone soon, its only going to get harder. I can only imagine how hard it is for women who are in their mid-late 40's and never got married, or got married and didn't have kids, or are divorced and the only guys they want are a little younger and in better shape than most 50 year old men. This is really tough. But I would give anything to have a family and a career, neither of which I have.
It's a tough world. Just don't stress it too much or you may come off as desperate which turns women with better options away. You may be older but the first step of looking at YOURSELF and making yourself desirable to these women is always the same. Meet someone first. See where it goes and although you may feel your time is limited, keep a positive attitude. You MIGHT still fail, but with a negative attitude you WILL fail. Good luck.
Therefore people who don't want kids should be expected to breed?
No.
Lex was referring to people who stated that they didn't want kids for financial reasons. Obviously if you just flat out don't want kids, no one even wants you to have a kid. You think I want to see a parent who never wanted their child? I'm sorry but it makes me sick knowing that a child will grow up knowing what it's like to have parents who hated them just for existing.
I never claimed anyone was wrong or right. I'm just trying to figure out why some don't feel the need to reproduce and/or loathe the idea of having a kid to begin with. It defies evolution and Christianity. It seems like such a nihilistic endeavor.
I have an issue with this.
First, if God intended every woman to conceive, why are some women infertile? So He wants all of us to have children but he makes some of us unable to do so?
How can you expect everyone to reproduce when some people clearly shouldn't be parents? Susan Smith, Cailee Anthony, and Lisette Bamenga come to mind off the top of my head.
I understand that you are wonderful and possess many qualities that you want to pass on to your children. But consider this:
You and your wife can be the most amazing people on Earth. You could do everything "right", and your kids still turn out to be horrible members of society.
^^ He could also marry someone who is not able to have children, or may not be able to have children himself. I'm sure he will only marry a virgin who wants nothing more than to create an army with him to go out into the world an make it a better place
This, and going to community college for two years prior to attending a 4 year school will significantly reduce college costs. I wish I mapped out my college years a little better; I could have been done soon much sooner, and/or even worked on a second degree.
The "college experience" is just an expensive overnight camp for young adults.
No more.
Many colleges aren't giving credit for community college classes.
It's unfortunate.
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